Really shaken, need your thoughts on clash with neighbour.

[Lalunya85]

Walking home with the kids, one in the buddy and 3yo on a bike. We're crossing a road which is difficult and dangerous to cross at the best of times. It's residential but lots of parked cars and really difficult to see if a car is turning into the street etc.

A car was parked on the double yellow lines, blocking the dropped curb. A woman was unpacking the boot of her car and taking stuff into her house that was just next to the parked car.

I approached her and said very calmly and quietly (there were other people nearby and I didn't want her to feel attacked). I said in those exact words: "hi excuse me, I know it's really difficult around here with parking, but I just wanted to let you know it's really dangerous trying to cross with my kids when you are blocking the dropped curb"

She went from 0 to 100. She said all sorts of things like "stop interfering", "have you got a job? I run two businesses!", "do you have postnatal depression, get a life!" and "stop harassing me."

I replied very calmly, especially since my kids were nearby. I said "I'm not harassing you, I just wanted to make you aware this is dangerous. Why are you insulting me?"

It went on like this for a while. Then she said, shut up and fuck off. So I said, and I regret this: "in that case I'm going to take a picture of your car", and did exactly that. She then walked up really close, said she would take my phone, I thought for a moment she was going to hit me. It was awful. Nothing like this has ever happened to me.

She then took a picture with her phone of me and my kids standing on the pavement.

I then walked off eventually. We live only a few doors Dow, around the corner. I don't know this woman but clearly we are almost neighbours.

I'm still shaking. My instinct was to go back to her house, and tell it it hadn't been my intention to start a fight, and clearly she couldn't hear what I was trying to say. I would tell her that I have deleted the picture (I haven't yet) and would ask her to do the same. I didn't go over there because I wouldn't want to take the kids and dh isn't home.

I hate conflict.

What do I do now?? The fact that she lives so close scares me.

Just ignore her. Definitely dont go and 'apologise' she sounds a fucking nightmare.

Some people are twats. So just don't bother with her in future and put it out of your mind.

Oh god, that's awful! I don't know what I'd do. TBH I'd probably move to a new neighbourhood tomorrow. I hate conflict. FWIW I think you approached it the right way and her reaction was unreasonable.

But then I'd have not said anything to get in the first place.

You could call 101 and explain how she was behaving in an intimidating and threatening manner in front of your children. I doubt they'll do anything about it but at least there would be a record of it if anything happened in future. Otherwise, just leave it. She's an idiot who will never see reason.

I would save the picture so if anything else happens you can show the police.

I get that you are shaken, but she was clearly reacting out of embarrassment. She was defensive because she's not an idiot, she knows double yellows on a dropped kerb are not to be parked on!

I would call 101 too. How dare she speak to you like that especially with kids there. Arsehole.

call non ermergency police (101) and report her. for her abuse and for parking illegally.

Sounds like she'd possibly only parked up for a few minutes to empty her car.

Allowing a 3 year old to ride a bike on roads that are difficult and dangerous to cross at the best of times. It's residential but lots of parked cars and really difficult to see if a car is turning into the street etc is pretty fucking stupid, as was taking the picture of her car.

50/50.

I'd leave it if I were you.

Ignore and go about your life as normal. I know you feel shaken and so would I but try my FILs trick. Tell yourself..."gosh, she must have been having a really bad morning, perhaps someone upset her or complained about her business. Maybe she's got a lot going on right now...anyway, it couldn't possibly be about me, I was so reasonable..." and so on. Sometimes I am not as nice as I want to be and amuse myself for a bit imagining all the horrible scenarios that ruined her day...

Do not apologise, I mean what for? And don't delete the photo, send it to your local PCSO or neighbourhood warden. Perhaps they would like to have a word about parking more considerately. Plus it will make you feel better.

Oh ffs, you don't call the bloody police because you fell out with your neighbour.

What PLANET are some people on?

I'm not taking it personally. That isn't what's bothering me. I'm more worried about what she might do. I have no idea what that might be! Finding out where I live wouldn't be difficult... I'm a bit anxious about stuff like that.

I guess the idea of going to her house was to reconcile rather than apologise. I would say something like that I realised she was stressed and didn't mean to make her life harder etc.

Clearly she was having a shit day. I think it was the "do you have postnatal depression" comment that made me angry enough to want to take a picture of the car. I regret that now. Agree it was fucking stupid.

Do not go to her house, you are opening yourself up to a further volley of abuse. Stay well away from her she sounds unhinged

It sounds like she over reacted to what you said, but I'm a little bit confused as to why you couldn't have just walked away once you'd said your piece? Why did you stay there and enter into an argument about it? I'd just chalk it up to experience, and forget about it.

I had this in my street OP. When I complained about the awful parking, the neighbour came out mob handed with her sister and daughter who got in my face and called me a gobby cunt ( I've posted about this before). Nothing changed, but I know how you feel. I felt really shaken up too. Don't involve the police, that leads to all sorts of nasty, unfortunately you can't argue with stupid entitled twats

I won't be calling the police. Thanks for clarifying that for me, your posts are really helping me put this into perspective. Right now I can't even bring myself to make lunch im so shaken. Getting better though

Why don't you call the 101, tell them about what happened and tell them you have a picture of her bad parking? Then, if anything happens, it's documented.
Btw, she behaved like a proper cunt. Probably is too.

I understand that you were slightly inconvenienced by her parking where she did but honestly, what did you expect to gain from challenging her?

You sound a bit OTT!

She sounds like a bully. Going over there and apologising when you've done nothing wrong will just make her smell weakness. It will not help.

I guess I stayed because I was trying to get through to her that I was just trying to make her aware of something.

Agree I should have walked off as clearly she wasn't in any position to hear it.
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But when I'm told to shut up and fuck off (it was both said right at the beginning) I guess I wanted to show her (or maybe the kids) that u wasn't going to be intimidates by her shouting.

I'm proud for staying calm. Not proud at all for not reading the situation better. I feel bad about my kids seeing it all too. While I didn't say anything wrong, they witnessed an adult being really mean

I'm with ChicRock.

basin we live right next to a school and two minutes away from the local park. Loads of kids cross that street and is iż dangerous, not just a minor inconvenience.

Do not go and apologise to her. She was in the wrong and shouldn't have spoken to you like that.

Just forget about it.

Since having my first baby, I now realise how some people park in such inconsiderate ways such as blocking dropped curbs and parking nearly on the entire pavements. Some people are just twats

WellErr, people are suggesting 101 because the OP is fearful of repercussions from the neighbour. Nobody expects the police to act on this incident alone, but the 101 service is to make the police aware of anti-social behaviour in the community, among other things.