Really shaken, need your thoughts on clash with neighbour.

[Lalunya85]

Walking home with the kids, one in the buddy and 3yo on a bike. We're crossing a road which is difficult and dangerous to cross at the best of times. It's residential but lots of parked cars and really difficult to see if a car is turning into the street etc.

A car was parked on the double yellow lines, blocking the dropped curb. A woman was unpacking the boot of her car and taking stuff into her house that was just next to the parked car.

I approached her and said very calmly and quietly (there were other people nearby and I didn't want her to feel attacked). I said in those exact words: "hi excuse me, I know it's really difficult around here with parking, but I just wanted to let you know it's really dangerous trying to cross with my kids when you are blocking the dropped curb"

She went from 0 to 100. She said all sorts of things like "stop interfering", "have you got a job? I run two businesses!", "do you have postnatal depression, get a life!" and "stop harassing me."

I replied very calmly, especially since my kids were nearby. I said "I'm not harassing you, I just wanted to make you aware this is dangerous. Why are you insulting me?"

It went on like this for a while. Then she said, shut up and fuck off. So I said, and I regret this: "in that case I'm going to take a picture of your car", and did exactly that. She then walked up really close, said she would take my phone, I thought for a moment she was going to hit me. It was awful. Nothing like this has ever happened to me.

She then took a picture with her phone of me and my kids standing on the pavement.

I then walked off eventually. We live only a few doors Dow, around the corner. I don't know this woman but clearly we are almost neighbours.

I'm still shaking. My instinct was to go back to her house, and tell it it hadn't been my intention to start a fight, and clearly she couldn't hear what I was trying to say. I would tell her that I have deleted the picture (I haven't yet) and would ask her to do the same. I didn't go over there because I wouldn't want to take the kids and dh isn't home.

I hate conflict.

What do I do now?? The fact that she lives so close scares me.

OP if the woman's house is near a school then she is probably subjected to people parking like absolute arseholes on a daily basis who probably block her drive and make her life difficult

Still doesn't give her the right to be an arse.

I think 50/50 here. I can understand why you did say something. But I'd have left it. Purely because people are unpredictable these days and your main priority is to keep you and your DCs safe.

2 things which are outing so will be brief: We had an actual incident recently on the school run. Police were contacted. Crime number given. Contacted two weeks later to say it will be going no further 'as they struggled to ID the offender from very close up! cctv!' So I'm not suprised people take the law into their own hands.

Secondly, we live near several schools ans the only thing regularly complaining has done has brought out the traffic wardens once or twice.

They'll probably log it as an incident number but nothing more. Asking if you had PND just shows what an unreasonable twunt she is. You can't reason with stupid OP.

And having children doesn't give anyone special privileges either, Mariedplastic. She doesn't need a dropped kerb just because she's got kids, for god's sake - she's perfectly capable of getting across the road without one, but she had to play the children card to make a point. She was entitled and annoying and like someone else pointed out, a busybody, who ramped up the situation by stupidly trying to take a picture of her car. Why? It's ridiculous entitled behaviour.

Now if she was a wheelchair user who actually needed the dropped kerb, I'd have a different opinion. But she isn't, and her entitlement was laughable.

You did the right thing, but just ignore her now, if you see her.This woman sounds very entitled and a right pleb.

No need to apogise, you did the right thing. Hopefully she'll think twice before doing it again.
You can't please everyone you meet. Stay strong.

And having children doesn't give anyone special privileges either,

Well of course not, and I'm the first to call out mumtitlement on these threads. BUT I understand where the OP is coming from here. One of the roads on the school run when we have to walk it is insanely dangerous. The safest place to cross is the raised bit at the bottom, and then right at the very top (it's a road that runs through the whole estate), the raised bit at the very top ALWAYS has a car parked on the pavement, I've no idea why they cant use their empty drive either yet there we are! Only the other day a lady stopped me and my friend and asked us to help her cross the road. She was partially sighted and was only trying yo get home (lived in the flats opposite).

It's not just about prams not having access, itd about people who use crutches not having access, or those in wheelchairs or mobility scooters.

I dont give a shiny shit if you've got one job or three. Manage your time effectively. don't illegally park on double yellows, 'even if only for a few minutes' (there's a reason why there's a no stop policy on markings on school areas) and then someone won't call you out on it.

Up until two weeks ago I had my 2yo & 9mo in a huge double buggy, with my 4yo on a buggy board. A dropped curb is preferable but it really isn't that much of a bother to bump up a curb. For all of you with a buggy board you may notice it catches on curb sometimes. She probably is using the 'child status' as I can assure you she does not walk down a street specifically looking for s dropped curb. She was probably frustrated and in a bad mood and felt the need to say something. We all feel like this at times but there is no need to take it out on someone else. The OP didn't know the situation the lady was in or the circumstances around. She had no right moan.

Just genuinely for information:
A pavement has a "kerb".
You "curb" something when you limit it, or rein it in.

😂 thank you @unapalomablanca

It's not just about prams not having access, itd about people who use crutches not having access, or those in wheelchairs or mobility scooters.

I agree with that (and I use crutches, so I know what you mean) but nowhere in the OP does it say this woman was parked on the pavement or blocking the pavement. The OP wasn't a wheelchair user, or a crutches user, or in a mobility scooter; she was someone with children who just didn't like where this lady was parked and decided to be all holier-than-thou about it by playing the "think of the chilllldrennnn!" card. She didn't need a dropped kerb to cross the road. Please tell me why you're incapable of stepping off a kerb just because you have children? Why did the OP need to cross the road at exactly the point where this woman was parked? She didn't.

Please tell me why you're incapable of stepping off a kerb just because you have children

please tell me why anyone is incabable of parking like a twat over any dropped kerb just because they drive a car?

You are right Paloma.

I've no idea why I wrote curb, it's probably karma for posting on the latest pedant thread. Or maybe because it goes belier with cunt?

Let me fix that.

I hate entitled cunts who park on the dropped kerb.

Anyone attempting to use their nonrelated work to justify their subcapable parking ability AND to try to lord it over someone by making bizarre and irrelevant assumptions about their work status and health not only KNOWS they are wrong but has very severe ego issues. Smile and wave at her maybe some civility will eventually be learned by the freak. But probably not. Be glad you don't work for the

Sevensisters- I didn't say having children gives one special privileges. In fact I said none of us is perfect. We're all human, OP got annoyed, that's that.

I never used to get bothered by confrontation and now hate it and get really upset - I think it's penance for all the times I was a gobby cow when I was younger!

I read this phrase that I say to myself in times of need i.e.as I crawl back out from my dark rock to face the world again ;-)
"I'm an adult, this doesn't have to affect me".
I think it works because some things resonate with us from childhood - not even that the same thing having happened, just tone of voice or anything really - and it helps remind you you're not wrong just because someone else says you are. Mind you they're not necessarily wrong just because you say they are either... Just leave it now, she might think twice, she might not, can't win em all! Get a mate over for a cuppa (wine) if you can and you'll feel loads better x

SweetLuck you don't need to use foul language to be effective and expressive. In fact, the more these horrible swear words are used in daily life the less effective they become.

Sim not sure how a dropped curb makes crossing easier if it's between parked cars
Yes she was on double yellows but at the end of the day she was unloading
Try showing some empathy and consideration instead of expecting every one to bow to your needs just because you have your children with you

Why doesn't she show consideration for people who need the dropped kerb to cross the road?

People with mobility issues, people with dogs, people carrying heavy object, mums with pushchairs, they all need the dropped kerb to cross.