My feed

to access all these features


AIBU to feel really 'ick' about this attempt at sex this morning?

180 replies

Asparaguswee · 22/06/2017 13:25

I'm not really sure how to articulate how I feel about what happened this morning. Apologies in advance for the tmi nature of this post, but I could do with talking it out and listening to a few different opinions.

Woke this morning, DH was reading, children asleep. He cuddled me from behind, I was in the mood for sex so kind of rubbed against him. Literally seconds later he spat on his hand, rubbed it on his penis and tried to penetrate me.
I pushed him off and told him i hate that (he knows I hate the spitting thing) and told him I wasn't a blow up doll. He stopped straight away and apologised.
He's working from home today, knows that I'm off with him but yet I seem unable to articulate why. I don't even know myself why I feel so off.

If I'm honest I feel a bit disgusting, I feel like he didn't give me even a seconds thought, like I was just a hole from which he garners pleasure. Oh god I don't know. Am I overthinking it? Would you be pissed off? Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 22/06/2017 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhitePhantom · 22/06/2017 13:28

God that sounds disgusting! He certainly wasn't going out of his way to give you any pleasure, was he?! He really was behaving like you were a blow-up doll. Yuk!

TheSparrowhawk · 22/06/2017 13:29

Yuck yuck yuck. Yuck. WTF did he think he was doing??

Nousernameforme · 22/06/2017 13:30

As with anything and most definitely if it comes to sex, if you have told him you don't like it but he continues to do it he is a twunt of the highest order.

Personally I would find that grim and it would be a total turn off.

Asparaguswee · 22/06/2017 13:30

Oh thank god you both agree. I kind of thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill. I need to tell him how he made me feel this morning, only I'm not quite sure what to say that will relay the message that it's just not fucking on to do that.

OP posts:
Reow · 22/06/2017 13:32

That's disgusting. Why do men do this? I've come across it a couple of times too.


BadHatter · 22/06/2017 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NavyandWhite · 22/06/2017 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

margaritasbythesea · 22/06/2017 13:34

You're wondering why you're disgusted at a man spitting on his hands as a precursor to sex.

You must be a very nice person op.

You did well. Maybe a calm reinforcement that it is a total turn off for you. Maybe ask him if he can imagine someone like George Clooney doing it. It's so blatantly unattractive and unconcerned about your arousal.

TenForward82 · 22/06/2017 13:35

How is he normally with foreplay?

Totally with you on the spitting, I can't stand it.

waitforitfdear · 22/06/2017 13:35

Omg so beyond yeuk.

Men do this? Thankfully none I have met or raised.

Beyond disgusting

Batteriesallgone · 22/06/2017 13:35

Did he spit on his hand to give himself a bit more lubricate to rub things into life IYSWIM? And was he also thinking it'll have to be a quicky because kids will be awake soon and assuming you were on same wavelength, what with the rubbing up against him?

Although, that is my generous interpretation. My non-generous interpretation is 'he knows I hate the spitting thing' - WTF? He does this regularly? Now that's grim.

MattBerrysHair · 22/06/2017 13:37

She rubbed up against him, she didn't just grab his cock and put it in! Op I would find that massively disrespectful too. You let him know you were in the mood for sex and in response he tried to use you as a sank sock. Grim.

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 22/06/2017 13:37

Well surely tell him that if he has to spit on his hand to lubricate enough to penetrate that means you are not aroused and that he is as you say using you as a blow up doll rather than as a partner in sex that you both enjoy? This is not a difficult concept to grasp!

I find it especially stomach turning that you've told him you don't like it before and he still tried it.

soapboxqueen · 22/06/2017 13:37

That is really grim

Didiusfalco · 22/06/2017 13:38

Eww, that's grim,

Does he watch porn? sounds like something he's picked up from that.

MattBerrysHair · 22/06/2017 13:38

wank not sank Blush

Mummamayhem · 22/06/2017 13:40

None you've raised?!?!?! waitforit?!?!?! Blimey. Over share issues.

Asparaguswee · 22/06/2017 13:40

I don't think the spitting was to aid his arousal, more because he wanted to get it inside me asap and couldn't be arsed to facilitate any other means of making me wet enough.
Yes, he's done it before. Yes, I'm vocal about hating it. It's spit! I don't want it anywhere near me!
I was up for a quickie, but not if it means spitting. Surely there are other ways and means?

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/06/2017 13:40

It's fine to use saliva as lube but sounds like you've told him you don't like it already so that's not fine.

NavyandWhite · 22/06/2017 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/06/2017 13:42

It's spit! I don't want it anywhere near me! You don't ever kiss then? I think you need to have a chat with him.

ElspethFlashman · 22/06/2017 13:43

It's fucking rank. It was rank in Brokeback Mountain too, but at least you could explain that as there being a scarcity of lube up a mountain in the 1950s.

Asparaguswee · 22/06/2017 13:44

Mrs Malcom..... he didn't even ahem, 'check' to see if he needed the spitlube (as it shall henceforth be known) so he couldn't have known if it was needed. It just seemed like he wanted to get his dick inside with minimum thought/effort/courtesy.....

OP posts:
TippyTinkleTrousers · 22/06/2017 13:44

I thought this was normal.

I don't see why everyone is freaking out over saliva. It's what gets on there during oral sex anyway.

However, if he knew you hated it but did it anyway then that's not on.

A bit childish to be sulking about it still though.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.