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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be slightly annoyed at hubby giving a lift to woman with shared hobby

154 replies

Juniperrose · 21/06/2017 17:44

Hubby is taking part in a triathlon in a couple of months time and will be going away for the weekend in our van for the duration of the competition.
He has offered to give a lift to a fellow female competitor who he knows from the local tri club- so trains with occasionally.
Should I feel pissed off about the fact he is travelling to the event with an attractive fit young woman or is it my insecurities kicking in. Incidentally I have young kids who would be bored senseless waiting around for the event hence why we are not going. Thanks X

OP posts:
Pollydonia · 21/06/2017 17:45

Yabu.

Thekissbyklimt13 · 21/06/2017 17:45

Probably YABU though I secretly wouldn't like this either. When you say van, do you mean caravan, and is it just a lift he is giving her or will she be staying in it with him?

SheSaidHeSaid · 21/06/2017 17:46

It's your insecurities, unfortunately.

A man and a woman can share a car/van for a journey and nothing happen, just as they can have platonic relationships.

There is no reason to be annoyed at your DH.

Wattyyyy · 21/06/2017 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HildaOg · 21/06/2017 17:47

I wouldn't like it either. Why can't she get he own lift?

NoLoveofMine · 21/06/2017 17:47

I can't see what's wrong with this. If there's something wrong with it then there's something wrong with women being friends with men.

TheLegendOfBeans · 21/06/2017 17:47

YABU however I would feel the same. And I'm the most happy and secure I've ever been!

NoLoveofMine · 21/06/2017 17:47

Why should he not give her a lift if they're going to the same place and know one another? Why should they not stay in the same place either?

HildaOg · 21/06/2017 17:48

I'd put my foot down at him going and staying with her for the weekend.

BeachyKeen · 21/06/2017 17:49

Are you worried she is going to hit on your husband?
Are you worried about how your dh would respond?
It sounds like you don't like her because she is in shape, which is a shitty reason not to like someone.

BandeauSally · 21/06/2017 17:49

It's your insecurities. Do you think he will cheat? Has he given you reason to think he will?

NoLoveofMine · 21/06/2017 17:49
Hmm
DaisyBD · 21/06/2017 17:49

yabvu to use the term 'hubby'

mumeeee · 21/06/2017 17:49

YABU. He is just giving her a lift

TheLegendOfBeans · 21/06/2017 17:50

^^

Grin
toffeeboffin · 21/06/2017 17:50

I'd be pissed off.

Where are they staying? It's not a campervan is it?!

AlmostAJillSandwich · 21/06/2017 17:50

It's unreasonable to assume he would cheat or that she would even try anything on.
It is understandable to have insecurities though, if you feel this woman is more attractive than you, and physically fitter, or younger etc. Most of us have insecurities and get jealous, but we need to remember it is our insecurity, not our partner doing anything wrong. Maybe you could invite her over and meet her prior, to get on friendlier terms so she's not so much a stranger, and gets to see the wife as a real person, if that would pacify you.

Shoxfordian · 21/06/2017 17:50

Yabu and jealous

OliveSoap · 21/06/2017 17:51

Of course yanbu. The second a man and woman are alone together in a vehicle, they will tear their clothes off, recline the seats and steam up the windows in the first layby they pass. This is a known fact.

TheWitTank · 21/06/2017 17:51

YABU.
I have managed to go to a lot of events with male colleagues and friends and not shag them on the way or fall in love. It is possible! I'm sure he would have liked you to go and watch him compete, but as you can't why not share a lift with a friend and have someone to chat too/share fuel costs?

irregularegular · 21/06/2017 17:51

If it's just a lift yabvu

Do you not trust him?

NoLoveofMine · 21/06/2017 17:52

OP's husband is doing a triathlon. A woman he knows from the local triathlon club is also doing it. They're both going so rather than them both drive he's giving her a lift, which will make the journey more enjoyable.

I'm completely baffled as to why this would be completely fine if the woman was a man but this isn't. Why assume the OP's husband would cheat? Why assume the woman would want something of that kind to happen? Baffling.

VintagePerfumista · 21/06/2017 17:52

Does a triathlon involve boffing the other competitors?

If not, this is yet another batshit AIBU.

And today the place is awash with 'em.

kali110 · 21/06/2017 17:55

Yabu. Why wouldn't this be ok?
He's giving her a lift!
'Put your foot down' Grin lol and say sorry i don't trust you?
Has he ever given you any reason to not trust him op?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/06/2017 17:55

YABU, but I'd feel the same.