To be slightly annoyed at hubby giving a lift to woman with shared hobby

[Juniperrose]

Hubby is taking part in a triathlon in a couple of months time and will be going away for the weekend in our van for the duration of the competition.
He has offered to give a lift to a fellow female competitor who he knows from the local tri club- so trains with occasionally.
Should I feel pissed off about the fact he is travelling to the event with an attractive fit young woman or is it my insecurities kicking in. Incidentally I have young kids who would be bored senseless waiting around for the event hence why we are not going. Thanks X

You either trust him or you don't, end of.

he trains with her ? he's giving her a lift ? does he text her ? do they communicate in other ways outside running ?

How unattractive.

I really don't see why anyone would feel at all annoyed by this. Surely you love and trust your partner and don't think they'll seek opportunities to cheat and don't think a woman and man can't be friends?

It's also quite insulting to the young woman to expect she'd be expecting or want anything along the lines of that being insinuated to happen when she's a committed athlete who's probably been training for the event and is looking forward to competing.

YABU

Me & women come in to contact everyday and mange not to shag

I think it's insulting to the women & your dh that you feel this way tbh.

Yabu obviously

Oh dear. As Harry said to Sally - men and women cannot be friends. Be afraid, be very afraid. It's inevitable they'll fall into each others arms and then in to bed if they dare share a van!

I'm surprised that so many people have a problem with this!

I wouldn't have given it any thought further than "that's nice someone for DH to chat with and share the petrol costs".

DH and I both travel for work with colleagues of the opposite sex, where we'd be travelling together, staying in the same hotel and eating together.

If the Relationships board shows anything then it shows that people don't need special circumstances to cheat.

It really comes down to: you trust him or you don't.

It would never occur to me to think this would be a problem. I quite often go for a run with a male friend and we sometimes give each other lifts to races. Sometimes there are a group of us, sometimes it's just me and a bloke. On other occasions I go out running/give lifts to/receive lifts from female friends.

If you don't like this, I think there must be something else going on or you don't trust him.

Or when you refer to a van, is it a campervan and is the idea that they will both sleep in it? I suspect nothing at all would happen but I can understand a bit more why you might find that a bit more concerning, although I think triathletes would be trying to get a good night's rest before a race, not having nooky.

Is this a camper van? Where are they staying?

Unless there are other reasons to be concerned, this is your insecurity kicking in.

What has your husband done in the past that means you have so little trust in him? There must be something, as otherwise this would be a crazy attitude to have.
Alternatively, is he such an Adonis that this woman won't be able to resist throwing herself at him?

Gawd, I would hate to be this insecure...

i would think nothing of it

I have been on the receiving end of this, i.e. I've been the young woman and what I fail to understand is why the wife thinks that I am even remotely interested in a middle aged father who is starting to go bald

my married male friend gave me a lift to Muay Thai 3 mornings a week for 2 years. we often trained just the 2 of us and we were very good friends.
I never met his wife.
nothing ever happened.
he was attractive but he was married.
I think I'm reasonably attractive but he was married.
we never ever even flirted.
let your husband have a friend.

...surely most of us can understand or relate to??

Actually no. I cannot relate to this kind of insecurity at all. If he was going to cheat I'm sure he'd find a more surreptitious way of doing it than this. And what an insult to both him and the woman involved.
Thank God my husband and I trust one another implicitly. I simply couldn't live thinking he was going to jump into the sack with every woman he might come across in his daily life.

You're probably BU but I wouldn't like it either.

What is he not allowed to spend time with women then? Or just not attractive fit women? Would you like to lock him up where he can't ever be near other women who you judge to be attractive and fit?

Yes, unreasonable, jealousand insecure. I'd reign it in if I was you. Its a highly unattractive trait in a partner and one the person on the receiving end seldom appreciates,,,

My fiancé goes on week long cycling holidays with a female friend.

His late wife didn't mind. I don't mind.

He's not at all bothered when my male friends stay at mine.

Trust.

No, I can't relate to this. I trust my husband. And if it turned out he couldn't keep it in his pants for a car journey he wouldnt be the sort of person I wanted to be married to anyway.

surely most of us can understand or relate to??

Not even remotely.

YABU and a bit ridiculous