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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find DH so embarrassing?

221 replies

BladdersRoom · 18/06/2017 08:29

I feel bad writing this because I love my DH but I need to vent.

Last year we booked tickets to my all time favourite band's reunion tour in London. I had given up hope of ever seeing them live so was over the moon and so very excited. Last night was the date of the event. DH drank too much as usual and when the band came on he was jumping around and dancing wildly and a couple of blokes behind him started threatening him and giving him a sly jab every time he knocked into them. I told him to calm it down but he just doesn't listen. In the end this big bloke had a go at him and DH replied with "oh god!" Like a teenager and then went in a strop, stop doing there with his arms folded not moving. I was aware of all this going on but I pretended I wasn't as I was just so embarrassed. Anyway he started up again after a while and ended up getting a mouthful of a woman stood next to us. He nearly knocked me over a few times and I had to push him a few times myself.

On top of this he was screeching loudly which sounded like he was taking the piss out of the singers voice, shouting out stupid things like "Axl we love you!" Which got everyone staring at him and when the guitarist did a solo DH was shouting out "1,2,1,2" over and over and for anyone stood near him, it was spoiling what was actually a really mellow solo.

When the singer introduced the band members DH booed loudly at the ones he didn't recognise and now the most mortifying of all - the singer took a few seconds to mention the Grenfell fire and whilst h as talking DH screamed out "we want more music!" I was mortified and turned to him and snapped "he's talking about the fire! Shut up!" Bare in mind we're in fucking London!!!

He just ruined the whole gig for me as I spent the night embarrassed and hoping to god he/we didn't get lynched on the way out.

He does this EVERYTIME we go and see a band. Even when we went to Thailand we went to a tha boxing fight and he got drunk and started booing one of the fighters (a big no no in Thailand) and shouting "cheat" etc. I need to speak to him about the drinking and his behaviour but I don't want to cause a row or upset him by making out that i find him so embarrassing. Am I over over-reacting?

It's not just this one incident, whenever he's drunk he forces his company on people, starts saying stupid stuff to random strangers, asks for arm wrestles etc - all the while I stand there mortified.

OP posts:
bigchris · 18/06/2017 08:31

Why do you go out with him? I'd tell him you are going on your own in future, drunk boorish people are horrid to be around

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 18/06/2017 08:32

No words for you. Just 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

prettywhiteguitar · 18/06/2017 08:33

Why on earth do you put up with this ? He's ridiculous and totally ruined special occasions for you ? Why have you not had this conversation before? Are you scared of him ?

AfunaMbatata · 18/06/2017 08:34

Film his behaviour next time and show it him.

prettywhiteguitar · 18/06/2017 08:34

In fact I would have walked off and left him on his own in all of those situations, he's putting you in danger actually

BladdersRoom · 18/06/2017 08:35

I suppose what's making it worse is that we were both big drinkers and so this stuff never used to bother me as much as I'd normally be drunk too (but a quiet drunk!) however, I've cut right down now and practically don't drink at all and so the behaviour just seems so intense now. I'm in introvert, I don't like attention being drawn to me, I don't like confrontation or drama so it really, really puts me on edge.

If I mentioned his behaviour he gets very defensive.

OP posts:
LTBiscuit · 18/06/2017 08:35

He sounds an absolute pest. You poor thing!

WateryTart · 18/06/2017 08:35

He's a prick. Run away.

UrsulaPandress · 18/06/2017 08:36

Sorry but this really made me laugh.

What a nightmare. How old is he? Could you video him on your phone then replay it to him when he is sober?

Is he otherwise lovely?

prettywhiteguitar · 18/06/2017 08:36

Well I could not be with someone who disregards my opinions, he gets defensive so you don't talk to him about it and brush it under the carpet

putdownyourphone · 18/06/2017 08:36

Oh dear god. I'm cringing for you. Don't go to any events with him ever and tell him exactly why. Is he not embarrassed the next day??

happinessbythekilowatt · 18/06/2017 08:38

Sorry but what the fuck? I'd tell him he needs to sort his bizarre and obnoxious behaviour out.

Is he like this 'just' at gigs?

2late2 · 18/06/2017 08:39

Cringe. Is he embarrassed?

MrsExpo · 18/06/2017 08:39

How does he behave when he's sober? How often does he get drunk? Sounds to me like he's got a serious problem with alcohol which he needs to address. Whilst he gets a grip of his drink problem, tell him you are not going out with him socially again. Some serious words need here. Are you over-reacting? Definitely not, either to his drinking or his behaviour.

RedHelenB · 18/06/2017 08:40

Apart from the fire bit isn't that what you do at gigs?

PaperdollCartoon · 18/06/2017 08:40

I'm so sorry for you. I honestly think if my DP was like this I'd have broken up with him by now. I'm a fairly big drinker but never a total dickhead (I rarely even seen drunk when I am) I have little tolerance for people who don't know what acceptable behaviour is in public. You're definitely NBU, I'd never go out with him againz

PragmaticWench · 18/06/2017 08:41

I don't want to cause a row or upset him

Why on earth do you not want to cause a row or upset him?! His behaviour was awful and it's not the first time, so perhaps you do need to have a row about it!

BladdersRoom · 18/06/2017 08:41

I have recorded him before and shown him it but the next day he makes a token "oh god how embarrassing!" And then forgets about it. He isn't bothered.

We went to see one of his favourite bands a few months back and he was the same there. Afterwards he wanted to hang around the tour bus to wait for the band so I went with him. Gathered around were a group of die-hard fans and DH waded in asking everyone where they were from, how many times had they seen the band and then answered with "ha! I've seen them 4 times! You're not real fans! I saw stone roses on spike island! I've done this, I've done that etc etc". Everyone just looks at each other, raise an eyebrow and try and ignore him then he starts rambling on about "I do apologise for my behaviour" in a sarcastic tone and he becomes the joke of the group but people laughing at him rather than with him. He's 46!

OP posts:
ShinyGirl · 18/06/2017 08:42

Is he 17?

If not, this morning he needs telling what an utter dick he was. Step by step.

Topseyt · 18/06/2017 08:43

Why not tell him his behaviour is embarrassing? I would.

Tell him it was so embarrassing and unattractive that you will not be going anywhere with him ever again and will choose a friend to go with instead.

That sort of behaviour is deeply unattractive and certainly NOT cute or funny.

prettywhiteguitar · 18/06/2017 08:44

Jesus he sounds worse with every post. Does your fanny not dry up every time you see him like this

DonaldStott · 18/06/2017 08:47

Oh my god. What an absolute dick. I can't believe you go anywhere with him Blush

junebirthdaygirl · 18/06/2017 08:50

He will only understand consequences. Tell him this morning you are not being in the same room when he has drink taken again and do it. Dont get into a big discussion . Just say you are an embarrassing drunk so lm going with Mary every other time. Walk away to bathroom..lm presuming he is very nice sober and this only happens at concerts. Otherwise he has a drink problem .

seven201 · 18/06/2017 08:50

I just couldn't go to any event with my dh if he did that. Could you go with a friend next time? You need to lay down the rules and tell him 2 drinks max as it's spoiling it for you and those around him in the crowd.

JennyOnAPlate · 18/06/2017 08:50

He must have some serious redeeming qualities op for you to put up with this shit.

Can you just start going out without him?

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