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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find DH so embarrassing?

221 replies

BladdersRoom · 18/06/2017 08:29

I feel bad writing this because I love my DH but I need to vent.

Last year we booked tickets to my all time favourite band's reunion tour in London. I had given up hope of ever seeing them live so was over the moon and so very excited. Last night was the date of the event. DH drank too much as usual and when the band came on he was jumping around and dancing wildly and a couple of blokes behind him started threatening him and giving him a sly jab every time he knocked into them. I told him to calm it down but he just doesn't listen. In the end this big bloke had a go at him and DH replied with "oh god!" Like a teenager and then went in a strop, stop doing there with his arms folded not moving. I was aware of all this going on but I pretended I wasn't as I was just so embarrassed. Anyway he started up again after a while and ended up getting a mouthful of a woman stood next to us. He nearly knocked me over a few times and I had to push him a few times myself.

On top of this he was screeching loudly which sounded like he was taking the piss out of the singers voice, shouting out stupid things like "Axl we love you!" Which got everyone staring at him and when the guitarist did a solo DH was shouting out "1,2,1,2" over and over and for anyone stood near him, it was spoiling what was actually a really mellow solo.

When the singer introduced the band members DH booed loudly at the ones he didn't recognise and now the most mortifying of all - the singer took a few seconds to mention the Grenfell fire and whilst h as talking DH screamed out "we want more music!" I was mortified and turned to him and snapped "he's talking about the fire! Shut up!" Bare in mind we're in fucking London!!!

He just ruined the whole gig for me as I spent the night embarrassed and hoping to god he/we didn't get lynched on the way out.

He does this EVERYTIME we go and see a band. Even when we went to Thailand we went to a tha boxing fight and he got drunk and started booing one of the fighters (a big no no in Thailand) and shouting "cheat" etc. I need to speak to him about the drinking and his behaviour but I don't want to cause a row or upset him by making out that i find him so embarrassing. Am I over over-reacting?

It's not just this one incident, whenever he's drunk he forces his company on people, starts saying stupid stuff to random strangers, asks for arm wrestles etc - all the while I stand there mortified.

OP posts:
barefootinkitchen · 19/06/2017 06:06

I've seen those kind of people at gigs - they can ruin the night for people around them - sounds like he needs help .

Veterinari · 19/06/2017 06:43

How are you doing OP?

WipsGlitter · 19/06/2017 06:47

That sounds really embarrassing. Hopefully you had a nice day in London.

reallyreallyreallyreally · 19/06/2017 06:56

Crossing my fingers that you've had a great day out in London by yourself, and time to reflect... and you're leaving him...

Life is too short...

teawamutu · 19/06/2017 07:37

Op, have you posted about him before? Its this Festival Man?

Even if not, ditch him. He's not fit company for an intelligent adult woman.

dingodon · 19/06/2017 08:13

I think user1497810687 is right a bit harsh but right. Knowing what you know, given past experiences why the fuck would you go there again - options would be (a) dump his arse permanently (b) go without him if you don't want to do (a) or (c) keep on trucking. They do say that it's the definition of insanity to keep doing the same thing but expecting a different result.

CryptoFascist · 19/06/2017 10:18

How did the night go, OP?

Ethylred · 19/06/2017 10:24

"I've asked him not to take drugs this year but he won't hear any of it and says it's the one time in the year he can truely be himself. "

When someone tells you who they are, listen. This is him telling you who he is. He's a drug-taker and a drunk.

velocitygir1 · 19/06/2017 10:30

Go and get your breakfast. Go and pack your things! Then go sightseeing and enjoy your day. Leave him in bed to sort his own shit out! He's too old to be acting the way he is.

I divorced my 1st husband for similar. They never change...if anything they get worse.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 19/06/2017 14:29

Yeah, user might have been harsh but she IS right - as the saying goes, if you do the same thing over and over, you will get the same result over and over - nothing will change until you MAKE a change.
Your DH clearly isn't going to voluntarily make the change, so the only option is for YOU to make one - and that is to refuse to go out with him to any such events again, especially ones you're looking forward to!
He's never going to change because he has no reason to - you still take him along, he embarrasses you and fucks it up for you, but you STILL DO IT AGAIN.

Change the pattern.

bigchris · 19/06/2017 17:52

Hope you're ok
Does he get hungover the next day? Is he remorseful?

OhhBetty · 19/06/2017 18:17

Sorry OP I don't mean to be dramatic but I couldn't be with someone who showed such a lack of respect to the victims of the fire or any tragedy. What a fucking heartless cunt.

TheHobbitMum · 19/06/2017 18:19

I hope you enjoyed your day. I couldn't be with him, I'd be packing a bag and start living life again. I grew up with an alcoholic mum (still is) and the embarrassing behaviour doesn't get any better. No way could I put up with that behaviour from my husband! I'm sure your friends and family would be very pleased for you if you were to leave, it may make him wake up and stop but knowing alcoholics I doubt it. He will never change, if he does change it has to be his choice entirely. You deserve better than this, to spoil night out and once in a lifetime events/ occasions is out of order!

happypoobum · 19/06/2017 19:00

tea Shock

You're right! This is the wankbadger AKA Festival Man isn't it? Or his twin brother.

XiCi · 19/06/2017 20:20

What was festival man?

happypoobum · 19/06/2017 20:41

Festival Man Thread

There are others!!

pigeondujour · 19/06/2017 21:19

Jesus, OP. Just read some other threads. You need to get rid. He has literally zero good points and loads of MASSIVE negatives.

JustMyLuck84 · 19/06/2017 22:51

I really feel for you, he sounds like a rude, selfish knob. My husband also has his moments but I couldn't stand for this. I'm sorry it spoiled your evening.

Alittlepotofrosie · 20/06/2017 09:59

If he is festival guy then I'm afraid you were an absolute fool to marry him. You were warned over and again.

Butterymuffin · 20/06/2017 10:27

Oh, it's him. Time to walk away OP. He's not going to change and you don't want to live the rest of your life like this, surely?

Jux · 22/06/2017 16:03

Why did you marry him? Just curious.

Hope you manage to get free of him. He's a rotter, and best left to his own devices. As far away from you as possible.

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