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Wedding Present....WWYD?

219 replies

Merlanguis · 17/06/2017 17:17

Attending a friend's wedding with DH. Had been planning on buying a present from the two of us (as per usual for weddings). Planned to spend approx £30-40 on present. (Normally would spend a little more but things are a little tight at the moment!)

However, one of my friends texted to ask if we could club together to get a present with another friend. She chose the present (£120), however asked me to buy it, which I did. I had assumed that we would split the cost between the three friends, so £40 each. However my friend feels that my DH is also giving the present, so my share should be £60 and they should pay £30 each. 

I realise that in the grand scheme of things £20 is not worth getting too het up about & I'm certainly not going to lose a friendship over it nor kick up a fuss.

I'm more interested in the general principle. It hadn't even occurred to me that DH would be included as we wouldn't buy a present each to go to a wedding.

However, braced & ready to be told AIBU, so interested to hear thoughts from the mumsnet floor....

OP posts:
StressedMover · 17/06/2017 17:18

I agree with you!

DeadMorose · 17/06/2017 17:19

I would take it back if that was the case. It's more than you've planned to spend, so you can't spend it. Simple as that.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 17/06/2017 17:20

I also agree with you!

lionsleepstonight · 17/06/2017 17:20

If the three of you are the friends of the bride, the other friends just happen to be single then I think it should be split 3 ways not 4.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 17/06/2017 17:20

I think your friend is being incredibly cheeky. And I think the b+g will assume you've paid equally, so you actually get less credit than you deserve.

I'd send friend a breezy text which says that you'd budgeted 40 - 50 quid and expected you all to pay equally.

Minniemagoo · 17/06/2017 17:20

Are your friends partners going?
If so then its a 3 way 'couple' split.
If not then its a 4 way 'person' split.

LexieSinclair · 17/06/2017 17:21

I agree with you too!

Riderontheswarm · 17/06/2017 17:21

Yanbu but I think if the 4 of you are going to the wedding you need to split it 4 ways. If it too expensive you could always explain you have had a few expenses this month and can't afford it any more.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 17/06/2017 17:21

I agree with you. There are three 'units' for want of a better word, contributing.

potoftea · 17/06/2017 17:22

So are the other 2 going to the wedding without plus ones? If so I'd think you need to split 4 ways as he's also getting a day out so needs to bring a gift.

Bluntness100 · 17/06/2017 17:23

I agree with you op,should be a three way split all day long. She's being necky.

RandomMess · 17/06/2017 17:23

Sorry DH & I only had £30-£40 to spend on a gift, I'll take it back and choose something else.

Cuppaoftea · 17/06/2017 17:24

Your friend is being very cheeky. I'd say when she asked you to buy the present you took it in good faith you'd be splitting the cost three ways between you three friends and if not you'll have to return it as you can't afford £60.

FrancisCrawford · 17/06/2017 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlondeGinger · 17/06/2017 17:26

I agree with you.
Are the other friends taking guests?

Nikephorus · 17/06/2017 17:26

Sorry DH & I only had £30-£40 to spend on a gift, I'll take it back and choose something else.
This ^^. What a cheek!

Goingtobeawesome · 17/06/2017 17:27

You are your dh are counted as one giver in this scenario.

PavlovianLunge · 17/06/2017 17:28

Three way split.

If she doesn't like that, tell her the gift goes back and you'll buy your own.

Totally agree with this. Your 'friend' is trying to take a bloody liberty.

Xmasbaby11 · 17/06/2017 17:31

Yabu unless friends also in couples.

Couple is two people so you spend twice as much as one person.

VerityHabitat · 17/06/2017 17:35

The general principle is to always clarify these things in advance. I would let it go this time and in the future clarify clarify clarify. When it comes to Money and friends always be very clear in advance as it's such a shame to fall out when pre-emptive communication would have saved things. I have learned the hard way.

Enidblyton1 · 17/06/2017 17:36

Definitely 3 way split.
Just tell them the gift is between the three of you and that the budget you agreed before hand was £40 each. They are being cheeky.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/06/2017 17:38

Tell them sorry you thought it would be a 3 way split and you cannot afford this. Take it back and get a smaller present.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/06/2017 17:39

Not your problem they don't have a +1.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 17/06/2017 17:41

Should be split four ways. I'd definitely expect a couple to spend more than a single guest.

Unless he's giving a separate gift then may be not.

Seenoevil · 17/06/2017 17:41

3 way split.

They are being unreasonable.

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