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To tell neighbour no?

213 replies

TheRugbyValkyrie · 12/06/2017 01:22

My neighbour popped round at about 12:45 today to ask us to turn the music off. I told him no.
Background - my 20 year old DS popped to the shop for me before going to meet friends. When he got back he pulled up outside, left the engine running and music on. When he opened the door I could hear his music. As he was in a rush, I helped him sort out a packed lunch. We has just finished when there was a knock on the front door. I opened it (and could once again hear the music) and it was my neighbour. He asked me to turn the music off or down. I said no, that it was the middle of the day and you couldn't hear the music inside or only faintly if the windows were open. He got quite huffy, said that it was too loud and he was only asking politely.
While this was going on DS had gone out the back door and was going back to his car, total time at home, less than 10 minutes.
I said to him that his wife had previously complained (in the middle of the afternoon) and that I said the same thing to her. It was the middle of the day and they were BU.
I know my response has been influenced by the fact that the guy does all his loud gardening jobs on a Sunday afternoon, which drives me up the wall, but I don't say anything. Oh and he always parks in my parking spot.
Was I BU to tell him to stuff his request?

OP posts:
CardinalCat · 12/06/2017 12:49

FGS, can people RTFT before calling the OP a 'knobber' or comparing her family to Shameless. She has (admittedly after a bit of persuasion) accepted that she WBVU and is going to try to make things better with the neighbour. Hooray! A successful thread where advice was sought, given, and taken on board.

SoupDragon · 12/06/2017 12:53

I've already pointed that out twice. I don't think anyone is listening. Perhaps I can't be heard over the music :)

NotYoda · 12/06/2017 15:53


Some people are far too busy and important to read thread and boring stuff like that. They prefer to pop their head round the door and put their penn'orth in.

Louiselouie0890 · 12/06/2017 16:07

He wasn't being ridiculous to ask. Especially ad he wasn't in the blooming car. It's just common courtesy to turn music down when stopping I'm a residential area. I can imagine it isn't quiet either. There really was no harm in just turning down your just being awkward.

Brittbugs80 · 12/06/2017 16:17

Why was the car left unlocked 100 metres away from home? Or do you mean a metre?

perstacho · 13/06/2017 17:29

Any car stereo I can hear when I'm not in the car is a blinking nuisance.

MrsC45 · 13/06/2017 18:35

That's rude and inconsiderate and its not remotely comparable to mowing the lawn! You shouldn't mow your lawn very early ot very late, but in the afternoon it's fine (but i'd delay if neighbours are eating their lunch or tea out there,) but otherwise mowing the lawn on Sunday afternoon is just normal! YWBVU!

SaS2014 · 13/06/2017 18:41

both you and your son were being VERY unreasonable. how ridiculously rude and anti-social!!! instead of switching off his car he chose to leave it running with music blasting outside your house for all to hear/suffer for TEN MINUTES! sorry but thats just rude and unacceptable!

Ticketybootoo · 13/06/2017 19:11

We have a neighbour who's daughters boyfriend did that all the time and it was a bit annoying .

The car broke down 😁

Lovingit81 · 13/06/2017 19:14

Some ppl have said YWBVU I'd say bluntly you were being a selfish arse! Why the hell didn't he just switch it off. You are in the wrong.

HildaOg · 13/06/2017 19:20

I'd hate to be your neighbour. It's basic decency to have consideration for others and to teach your children the same. There's no reason to inflict loud bass on people at any time.

SoupDragon · 13/06/2017 19:21

Holy crap. Read the thread!!

Defuzzing · 13/06/2017 19:25

YABU for all the reasons Plunkette covered in the first post. Grin

NotYoda · 13/06/2017 19:29

I haven't read the thread, but I'd really like to interject here with something you all are going to find interesting, witty, insightful and apposite.

Ceto · 13/06/2017 19:31

FGS, can people RTFT before calling the OP a 'knobber' or comparing her family to Shameless. She has (admittedly after a bit of persuasion) accepted that she WBVU and is going to try to make things better with the neighbour. Hooray! A successful thread where advice was sought, given, and taken on board.


RTFT, people. Or just the OP's posts, if you can't be bothered.

Buttercup12233 · 13/06/2017 19:32

So you refused to turn off music that no-one was listening to, even though it was bothering your neighbour? You were so unreasonable that words fail me.

I can't believe that this really happened. No-one is that sh1tty.

NotYoda · 13/06/2017 19:36

I think people are having a larf now Wink

redladybird · 13/06/2017 19:42

Your son left his engine running for 10 minutes? You sound delightful neighbours!

oldstudentmum · 13/06/2017 19:45

Your neighbours seem like they either have very sensitive hearing when you have music on in your home or are just twats, they can make lots of loud noise but heaven forbid you should have some music playing at a reasonable level. I would suggest one day probably a Monday morning putting on the opera Carmen and going out. Oops you forgot to turn it off before you left. And accidentally hit the up button on volumeSmileWink. I have same type of neighbour makes noise music loud banging TIL early hours of morning 1am 2am then complains and shouts "shut that ducking dog up it's doing my head in" to the dog over the back, the barking is nothing I barely notice it. But she complains !!!!!

MafiaMoll · 13/06/2017 19:57

I'd go and knock on the neighbours' door and be totally honest: I'm sorry. That was unreasonable of me earlier. My son shouldn't have left his engine running or disturbed you with the music. I think I snapped because I've been a bit irritated by the noise you make in the garden at the weekends. I will ask him not to play the music so loudly again. And would you mind please not using garden machinery when we're eating outside (?) at the weekends? Thank you

BuzzKillington · 13/06/2017 20:02

Rubbish attitude - of course YABU.

MsJudgemental · 13/06/2017 20:03

YABVU. And very rude. But I think you know that.

clarkl2 · 13/06/2017 20:04

Hell yeah. Tell the old fart to get bent.

CheeseQueen · 13/06/2017 20:11

Because he wanted to so fucking what?
It's not a crime is it or against the law.?
No it isn't

It's a bit anti social, you must admit. Just seems strange to me to be in the house, not even with the car and have it banging really loud in the street whilst he's inside pottering about making sandwiches etc!
Not very considerate.
Definitely inconsiderate and rude to tell him to stuff his request! My reaction would have been "sorry, didn't know it was bothering you, I'll turn it down/off."
What's happened to manners? There's no need to be so rude and inconsiderate.

NoPressureNoDiamonds · 13/06/2017 20:20

He made a polite and reasonable request. Nothing stopping you doing the same if he does something to bother you.

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