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To tell neighbour no?

213 replies

TheRugbyValkyrie · 12/06/2017 01:22

My neighbour popped round at about 12:45 today to ask us to turn the music off. I told him no.
Background - my 20 year old DS popped to the shop for me before going to meet friends. When he got back he pulled up outside, left the engine running and music on. When he opened the door I could hear his music. As he was in a rush, I helped him sort out a packed lunch. We has just finished when there was a knock on the front door. I opened it (and could once again hear the music) and it was my neighbour. He asked me to turn the music off or down. I said no, that it was the middle of the day and you couldn't hear the music inside or only faintly if the windows were open. He got quite huffy, said that it was too loud and he was only asking politely.
While this was going on DS had gone out the back door and was going back to his car, total time at home, less than 10 minutes.
I said to him that his wife had previously complained (in the middle of the afternoon) and that I said the same thing to her. It was the middle of the day and they were BU.
I know my response has been influenced by the fact that the guy does all his loud gardening jobs on a Sunday afternoon, which drives me up the wall, but I don't say anything. Oh and he always parks in my parking spot.
Was I BU to tell him to stuff his request?

OP posts:
user1497246630 · 12/06/2017 07:27

I think it was silly to leave the music on and as it served no point to do so as he was in the house.

Unfortunately it is small matters like this that escalate to neighbours at war disputes so I would let it go.

twocockers · 12/06/2017 07:28

WHAT!!!!!!!! So he left his car 100m away from your home with the engine still on.

Your and your sons attitude is exactly why this country has so many self centred "entitled " people. What happened to consideration. No wonder your neighbours are fed up.

TheMouseInMyPocket · 12/06/2017 07:31

He parks 100 metres from the house and leaves the engine running? What an idiot. Confused

Katedotness1963 · 12/06/2017 07:34

I can't take the bass thump. I can actually physically feel it in my chest, it's a nasty feeling and even 10 minutes of it would drive me mad.

Monkeyface26 · 12/06/2017 07:34

You have raised a 20 year old with so little concern for other people and so little common sense that even you have to tell him what to do sometimes. He sounds entitled and mannerless and, frankly, we can all see where he gets it from. You posted to ask whether you were being unreasonable and more than 70 messages later, no-one has an ounce of sympathy for your selfish position and still you keep trying to justify it. Catch a clue OP.
You do not have enough consideration for others and that is the reason that your son does not have any consideration- despite being a young adult, not a child, and there is very little point anyone on here continuing to discuss it with you because you are not reasonable - and nobody can reason with the unreasonable.

TheRugbyValkyrie · 12/06/2017 07:35

I came here to ask if I was BU because the situation bothered me enough to want to get some opinions instead of stewing about it.
Thank you to those of you who have expressed your opinions in a reasonable and measured way, showing that I was right to be bothered because I should have apologised. I will now try to find a way to mend fences.

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 12/06/2017 07:36

Pretty much everyone says yes!
OP: No I'm not, here's why...

rwalker · 12/06/2017 07:36

think the problem is it,s just unnecessary noise .To leave it playing to it,s self with the bass pumping is just selfish and rude . why would you do that unless you are the type of person who does not care about anyone else . He wasn't even in the car listening to it he just left it playing disturbing everyone . Amazed that you have to come on here to ask if it unreasonable . it,s just about being considerate to other people

strawberrygate · 12/06/2017 07:39

I frigginf hate it when people leave their cars running.Pig ignorant

TiredBefuddledRose · 12/06/2017 07:53

Hopefully the neighbour will learn that asking politely does no good and next time simply switches off the engine and drops the keys down the nearest drain.

Fruitcocktail6 · 12/06/2017 07:55

How could you possibly think you are not BU?

Such rude and entitled behaviour, it's clear where your son gets it from.

Fliptopdustbinlid · 12/06/2017 08:00

OnionKnight has summed it up perfectly, YES you were BU, and you should apologize! I would hate to have a neighbour like you

ebarinov2305 · 12/06/2017 08:02

You could have at least let him know that your son was about to leave rather than being argumentative about it

crocodilesoup · 12/06/2017 08:04

The only reason to have the music playing when you're not in the car is to show off. Does he think he's staring in a rap video? I would like to overhear the phone call with the insurance company if someone stole it. Or a child gets in and tries to drive it..
I get the OP is accepting she wu, but this is just the tip of the iceberg I suspect.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 12/06/2017 08:12

Glad you've realised you've made a mistake OP, you've gone one better than Theresa May Wink

Do tell you're Ds that if his car had been pinched, he wouldn't have been insured as he'd left the keys in the car.

Underthemoonlight · 12/06/2017 08:14

The fact they have spoken to you twice suggests to me that's it's clear there's an issue. I bet my bottom dollar that when your at work he blasts his music on with the base and they are rightly fed up regardless if it's during the day do you realise what that's like living next door to it for hours it can drive you nuts.

AnneElliott · 12/06/2017 08:15

I get you op. You haven't complained about things your neighbour does, and are annoyed he's having a moan.

The only way to deal with it I think is to tell the neighbour that you also have a few issues with his behaviour, and would he like to discuss those first, or should you all get back to being a bit tolerant?

I used to have neighbours like that. They always used to encourage their visitors to park over my drive, but the one time my dad stopped ( not parked) in front of their drive to hand me a parcel - they went apeshit!

Binkybix · 12/06/2017 08:15

I honestly think it's a bit worrying that you'd even need to ask!

Thank fuck I left the city and no longer have to live next to selfish sound polluting boy racer twats and their aggressive parents anymore is all I can say

OP lives in a village.

Roussette · 12/06/2017 08:16

The only reason to have the music playing when you're not in the car is to show off. Does he think he's staring in a rap video?
I think people who have their car stereos too loud are just twats... it's not cool and you look stupid, no one is jealous of your car sound system!

If it had been my DC, I would have straightaway gone outside and turned it off and taken out the keys, I can't imagine for one minute why you didn't do that. It's all about give and take when you live rurally and OK your neighbour does garden jobs in the afternoon or whatever, but your DS doing this isn't going to ease the situation is it?

mellowbean · 12/06/2017 08:17

Well now you know why he parks in your spot and mows the lawn really loudly!!

You are clearly inconsiderate neighbours and as I tell my 5 year old, yes you can do whatever you like but there may be consequences.

Nikephorus · 12/06/2017 08:18

You have a bad attitude OP, I bet you have a lot of conflict with many people you come across in your life.
^^ This in bucket loads (or pools perhaps). I hope next time someone nicks the car or removes the keys and clumsily drops them when standing over a drain.

Ceto · 12/06/2017 08:24

What on earth is wrong with gardening on a Sunday afternoon.

I'm waiting for the thread when you come on here and bemoan the fact that your son's car has been nicked and the insurance won't pay up because he left it with the engine running for 20 minutes.

Badbadbunny · 12/06/2017 08:30

Is your son not very bright? Why leave a car running out in the street for 10 minutes?

This! You should have apologised on behalf of your son and given your son a rollicking for leaving his engine running for so long when he wasn't in it (against the Highway code). Just how many seconds would it have taken him to have a bit of common sense/consideration and turned the engine off???? He could have had his car stolen or a child could have got in and accidentally set it moving - the consequences don't bearing thinking about.

rightwhine · 12/06/2017 08:31

Well there is no chance that they will do anything for you now is there. They could in fact get worse as why bother to be considerate to you. If you've never mentioned the things that annoy you then perhaps they don't actually realise. I think you've probably cut your nose off to spite yourself.

bumblebee61 · 12/06/2017 08:37

I would have been really annoyed too if i were your neighbour. Regardless of time of day it is inconsiderate and polluting the environment.. He did ask nicely. I would have just said 'so sorry, didn't realise it was a distrurbance,' and turn it off.

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