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To tell neighbour no?

213 replies

TheRugbyValkyrie · 12/06/2017 01:22

My neighbour popped round at about 12:45 today to ask us to turn the music off. I told him no.
Background - my 20 year old DS popped to the shop for me before going to meet friends. When he got back he pulled up outside, left the engine running and music on. When he opened the door I could hear his music. As he was in a rush, I helped him sort out a packed lunch. We has just finished when there was a knock on the front door. I opened it (and could once again hear the music) and it was my neighbour. He asked me to turn the music off or down. I said no, that it was the middle of the day and you couldn't hear the music inside or only faintly if the windows were open. He got quite huffy, said that it was too loud and he was only asking politely.
While this was going on DS had gone out the back door and was going back to his car, total time at home, less than 10 minutes.
I said to him that his wife had previously complained (in the middle of the afternoon) and that I said the same thing to her. It was the middle of the day and they were BU.
I know my response has been influenced by the fact that the guy does all his loud gardening jobs on a Sunday afternoon, which drives me up the wall, but I don't say anything. Oh and he always parks in my parking spot.
Was I BU to tell him to stuff his request?

OP posts:
RitaMills · 12/06/2017 08:38

I can't fathom why he left the car running esp with the music blaring, that is one of my bugbears, selfish, antisocial, polluting and damn right stupid.

I reckon the phrase 'there goes the neighbourhood' was coined for your family!

Wawawaa · 12/06/2017 08:41

Yes YABU. I would have said sorry and switched it off. You must live in a very low crime area to be able to leave cars around with open doors and keys in.

bluebell34567 · 12/06/2017 08:46

I didn't read the whole thread but why don't you tell them when you are not happy of some of the things that they do instead of refusing them like that. I don't understand that attitude really. they don't know what they did wrong and you behaving like that to them.

Only1scoop · 12/06/2017 08:47

And your son lacks basic manners.

blackteasplease · 12/06/2017 08:48

yabu. you don't leave a car running for that period of time, or at all really.

sparechange · 12/06/2017 08:51

Not only is it really stupid to leave your engine running while you aren't in the car, it is illegal

fessmess · 12/06/2017 08:57

Yabvvvvu. It takes seconds to turn off engine. I feel you're pissed off about his gardening reallly.

RB68 · 12/06/2017 09:03

He should have turned car off - having said that the neighbour was also unreasonable it clearly wasn't hugely loud and was less than 10 mins or so. So for me half a doz of one and 6 of the other. You are right about middle of the day and reasonable noise BUT question is is it reasonable to leave music blaring and car on whilst in house - answer No.

But feel free next time he is doing a noisy job to go round and ask them to be quite and start a parking war.

duchess22 · 12/06/2017 09:14

I don't think you were BU at all tbh, your son leaving the car running is a bit silly but my whole family are terrible for "I'm literally just running in" and it ending up being a 10-15 minute thing (given they don't always leave the car running but I can see where he was coming from)

plenty of people play loud music in their cars around where I live but I can barely hear it from inside the house and normally it's quite obvious it's coming from a car so therefore will be leaving or stopping very shortly anyway!! I don't see why he would come round after 10 minutes, seems a bit OTT to me! Confused

StarryCorpulentCunt · 12/06/2017 09:16

With every post you make yourself sound more of a knobber and your son like a thoughtless and entitled 13 year old.

BlindAssassin1 · 12/06/2017 09:16

You chose to be petty because you're neighbour mows his lawn on a Sunday afternoon (like thousands of people across the land) and because you occasionally have to park somewhere that's less than convenient.


SistersOfPercy · 12/06/2017 09:22

We had a neighbour who'd leave his music on whilst he deiced the car. Rather than scraping though he'd sit in it, music full whack and the heaters on the screen. Main issue was he left for work at 4am Shock
After repeated polite requests he still didn't stop so we went to our local PCSO who had a quiet word. Solved the issue.

For some reason being subjected to other peoples music makes me irrationally angry.

Squishedstrawberry4 · 12/06/2017 09:22

If the parking spot is on the road, it belongs to nobody.

Would have been kind to turn the music off or down. Gardening is just gardening really and has to be done. Other people's music is very annoying what ever time. And your son wasn't even listening to it! So basically you were determined he was going to play his music despite him not being in the car.

strawberrygate · 12/06/2017 09:23

Oh and he always parks in my parking spot

is it actually your private parking space. ie. you pay for it in some way, or is it just where you like to park?
if the former, you have the right to be annoyed. if the latter, you're being a twat

Squishedstrawberry4 · 12/06/2017 09:23

Entitled is the correct word. Does not compare to using garden machinery Sunday lunchtime

VinIsGroot · 12/06/2017 09:23


ToastDemon · 12/06/2017 09:24

Are you the family from Shameless?

MycatsaPirate · 12/06/2017 09:24

Your DS needs a kick up the arse about being respectful to those who live around him.

Does he also drive like a lunatic and rev his engine at the lights?

paxillin · 12/06/2017 09:27

I can see why your neighbours got annoyed, but they do seem terribly trigger happy over a tiny grievance. I would say "we'll be done in 3 minutes anyway, sorry". This way you say no without seeming too contrary. And if they always complain about the small stuff, you should start, too. They are probably oblivious to any nuisance they are causing. It might make them pause before complaining over the next tiny thing which slightly annoys them.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 12/06/2017 09:30

I can't take the bass thump. I can actually physically feel it in my chest, it's a nasty feeling and even 10 minutes of it would drive me mad.

Me too, drives me mad. Why do they need it to be soooooo loud? Inconsiderate thick twats.
OP, I can't believe you didn't say 'oh sorry, I'll tell him to turn it down', even if he didn't. When did it become ok to side with your child, who is in the wrong, over your neighbours? When I was younger my parents would have gone mad AT ME if the neighbours complained about my music being too loud.

LadyinCement · 12/06/2017 09:30

Probably this was the last straw for the neighbours. The pool parties sound delightful Hmm

I don't think using the lawnmower is equal to loud base in car and whooping and splashing to loud base in garden.

strawberrygate · 12/06/2017 09:30

When you you rather he did his gardening if not on a Sunday afternoon? Surely that's the most considerate time. Or do you start mowing at 3am on a Tuesday?

Brittbugs80 · 12/06/2017 09:32

Two things impress me on the OP. The car was left unlocked with engine running and didn't get stolen and he made a packed lunch to take to meet his friends with.

I personally would have told him to turn it off, turn the car off and lock his doors. But in the interest of being neighbourly, you've told them no twice. Now they probably won't be considerate if you decide to raise the issue of their gardening habits.

I never realised gardening irritated so many people, along with washing line layouts, children playing and taking wheelie bins out!!

MoonfaceAndSilky · 12/06/2017 09:34

but they do seem terribly trigger happy over a tiny grievance

Not if it is happening all the time! His wife has previously complained about the loud music and the OP says that they often have pool parties. I'd say the neighbours are at the end of their tether.

morningconstitutional2017 · 12/06/2017 09:37

YABU. For all sorts of reasons, leaving a car engine running is a very silly thing and irresponsible to do.

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