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To tell neighbour no?

213 replies

TheRugbyValkyrie · 12/06/2017 01:22

My neighbour popped round at about 12:45 today to ask us to turn the music off. I told him no.
Background - my 20 year old DS popped to the shop for me before going to meet friends. When he got back he pulled up outside, left the engine running and music on. When he opened the door I could hear his music. As he was in a rush, I helped him sort out a packed lunch. We has just finished when there was a knock on the front door. I opened it (and could once again hear the music) and it was my neighbour. He asked me to turn the music off or down. I said no, that it was the middle of the day and you couldn't hear the music inside or only faintly if the windows were open. He got quite huffy, said that it was too loud and he was only asking politely.
While this was going on DS had gone out the back door and was going back to his car, total time at home, less than 10 minutes.
I said to him that his wife had previously complained (in the middle of the afternoon) and that I said the same thing to her. It was the middle of the day and they were BU.
I know my response has been influenced by the fact that the guy does all his loud gardening jobs on a Sunday afternoon, which drives me up the wall, but I don't say anything. Oh and he always parks in my parking spot.
Was I BU to tell him to stuff his request?

OP posts:
PinkPeppers · 12/06/2017 09:41

To all the people who are sayng that the OP ds is dim to have left the engine running

I hope you arent the same people who also leave their engine running in the am to defrost the windscreen. As so many people seem to do (and is seen as a totally ormal thing to do on MN).

He was ou of the car for 10mins.
I'm Hmm that the neighbourgh couldnt cope with 10mins of music that couldnt be heard inside tbh.

Which makes me think there is much more to it than the two incidents with the music.
Rather i suspect that, just oike the OP, there are plenty of things that annoy them (remember the other neighbourgh did complain about some stuff, even though it wasnt the music) but they never went to see them.
So Im guessing the music is just the tip of the iceberg.

PinkPeppers · 12/06/2017 09:44

Fwiw on paper, pool parties until 9.00pm, having the music on in your car etc arent big issues at all.
No more than being noisy with gardening.

People are living next door to you, they make noise. Its part of life. Much better to accept it and get on with it.

differentnameforthis · 12/06/2017 09:47

I'm Hmm that the neighbourgh couldnt cope with 10mins of music that couldnt be heard inside tbh. Well the neighbours could hear it, whether inside or out it is not acceptable to play your music so loud that it disturbs the neighbours, just inconsiderate, to be honest.

Also, did you read the op's posts where she has also previously said no to the neighbours wife? And where the op herself has had to ask her son to turn the music down as it was on too loud for too long? And where they have pool parties?

Did you miss that? This doesn't sound like a one off where the neighbour went running as soon as the ds left the car!

differentnameforthis · 12/06/2017 09:51

Gardening noise is unavoidable.
Leaving your car unattended, with its music on loud is not.

Pool parties with a noise curfew of 9pm, on the odd occasion is one thing, but this sounds like a frequent occurrence, and even though the music is off at 9pm, kids in a pool can be very noisy ans irritating. And it now sounds like the op is planning on upping the noise now, in retaliation to being asked to turn loud music off.

phoebemac · 12/06/2017 09:53

We used to get this a lot (people over the road were dealing drugs and their customers would park up, music on full). It's really annoying and inconsiderate, OP. Even if you close the windows you can still hear the thump of the bass.

SquinkiesRule · 12/06/2017 09:55

LOL Car running, music on, no one in the car. YABU.
How self entitled are people? I'm more concerned about pollution from the running car than the noise pollution. You all need to get in the habit of actually switching the car off when parked.

RockyBird · 12/06/2017 09:57

Your son is a dick and was breaking the law, OP.

VoteMe · 12/06/2017 10:01

Fwiw on paper, pool parties until 9.00pm, having the music on in your car etc arent big issues at all

It's only the music that stops at 9.00pm not the party itself so that could easily be the cause of the neighbours being wound up. The OP said the pool parties were regular. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Snorktasia · 12/06/2017 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marv1nGay3 · 12/06/2017 10:11

It is definitely illegal to leave the engine running if you are not in the car. I remember a case in the paper where someone had been arrested for this when they had gone back into their house to say goodbye to their kids! So yes YABU.

Clawdy · 12/06/2017 10:12

YABVU, and your son sounds an immature idiot.

CloudNinetyNine · 12/06/2017 10:32

You could hear it over 100m away. Your neighbour is further away and could hear it. How fucking loud must be when in the car!

QuizteamBleakley · 12/06/2017 10:35

OP, out of curiosity, when do you mow your lawn?

StormTreader · 12/06/2017 10:38

So the OPs argument is "My neighbours have made the effort to come complain about the music that I dont think they can hear."
Obviously they can hear it if theyve had to come over to complain!

MissDuke · 12/06/2017 10:41

OP gardening noise is unavoidable and I think most people would prefer that neighbouring properties are well maintained. However it does sound like your family do create a lot of noise which may have just tipped your neighbour over the edge. Your last post indicates that you are now feeling remorseful but don't know how to make a mends. Why don't you just ask your son to be more considerate and next time you see the neighbour, apologise?

metspengler · 12/06/2017 10:51

Sorry YABU you already clearly stated that you get annoyed with someone doing gardening chores on a Sunday afternoon (which is actually a perfectly reasonable thing to do).

If someone was going nuts over 10 minutes of music you were listening to in your house it might be different. Leaving music to bother someone in their house while you go away is entirely unreasonable. There doesn't even seem to be a single up side to this for you, it is pure annoyance and nothing else.

Babbitywabbit · 12/06/2017 11:14

Perhaps OP doesn't have a lawn because she's covered it over with a massive inflatable pool for the regular parties!

The son sounds pretty dim for a 20 year old

SoupDragon · 12/06/2017 11:30

The OP admitted she should have apologised ages ago

bigbluebus · 12/06/2017 11:42

Your DS does realise that he is not insured if someone steals his car with the keys in it, I assume.

This sounds as ridiculous as one of my neighbours, who in a similar dispute re car stereo volume with another neighbour argued that as his stereo is a "factory fitted standard stereo, he can play it as loud as he likes" Hmm. This particular offender has had previous warnings off the local constabulary when he had very large and booming bass speakers in a previous vehicle!

Your DS was being very unreasonable to leave his music playing and you were equally unreasonable to defend him.

Ifitquackslikeaduck · 12/06/2017 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oooblimey · 12/06/2017 11:54

Wow. I'm glad you're not my neighbour! You and your family sound like self entitled pains. I would also echo pp the ridiculousness of posting in AIBU being told by the vast majority that you are, and still not accepting it! Again, glad you're not my neighbour!

SoupDragon · 12/06/2017 11:59

I would also echo pp the ridiculousness of posting in AIBU being told by the vast majority that you are, and still not accepting it!

Well' apart from when she did, obviously.

"Thank you to those of you who have expressed your opinions in a reasonable and measured way, showing that I was right to be bothered because I should have apologised. I will now try to find a way to mend fences."

TheKitchenWitch · 12/06/2017 12:30

Well how long do you think it's acceptable to wait before asking for it to be turned down? I bet anything it was longer than 10 minutes if he made a packed lunch in that time!

Also, who the hell leaves their engine running when parked, ever, anywhere? That is totally unnecessary and completely twattish behaviour.
YADBU as is your ds.

Plunkette · 12/06/2017 12:35

I have to say, I live in a neighbourhood where everyone has a pool and lots of people also have summer (outdoor) kitchens.

I have never heard outdoor music being played. Ever.

My DC have been invited to several pool parties, and they were also music free.

FineAsWeAre · 12/06/2017 12:44

YABU. One of my neighbours regularly sits in his car blasting music, it drives me insane. Yes it's during the day and I don't expect people to be quiet but it's a generally quiet residential area and the ridiculous thumping bass drives me insane. I'm a student so trying to study while he's doing that or revving his motorbike excessively. My next door neighbours on both sides work nights so we try to be quiet out of courtesy. I would probably be a bit annoyed by your DS too.

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