Who is BU? DD slept on the floor all holiday.

[MalibuCream]

We have just come back from a holiday to New York. It was amazing and I'm so pleased we went. We are not the richest family by any means, I have been saving for this for years. We booked a hotel room that has 2 double beds. I really couldn't afford another room. It was me, DH and 2 DDs. They are 18 and 20. 1 is at sixth form (yes, I know it's exam period but it was half term and she was more than happy to go, she is also set to do well, didn't want anyone moaning at me about that!) the other is at uni. I paid for both of them for everything. I didn't really expect not to.

DD1 was apparently very difficult to sleep with - constantly stealing all the cover (so she got another cover from reception after the first night) and then she kept sleeping very closely to her, etc. etc. so DD2 ended up moving on to the floor. DD2's argument was that DD1 should have gone on the floor as she was the one being difficult, DD1 says no as DD2 was the one having a problem with it.

DD2 says it would have been nice to have booked a 2nd room and that when she was 16, I wouldn't have let DD sleep on the floor (when DD1 was 18). I say that they're both adults and quite lucky to get a full holiday paid! DD2 says that DD1 got holidays paid for at her age. She just comes across very ungrateful! Who is in the right!?

They're adults, they need to sort it out for themselves. Let them know.

I think that you sound very generous. Lucky daughters.

Tell them to grow up and move on. The holiday is over, they were bloody lucky to go at no cost to themselves and if they wanted a seperate room they could have arranged this themselves beforehand or been sensible enough to compromise and swap nights.

They're being ridiculous. I'm nearly 30 and would still share a bed with my little sister if it meant going to New York!

Yeah they're old enough to try and come to an agreement between themselves really.

I don't share rooms with anyone and definitely not a bed so I would not have liked this arrangement BUT I am not 18yrs old and so would be paying for myself.

It would have been nicer to take it in turns on the floor. Coujd you have got a cheap mattress ro make it more bareable.

As for paying.. well...each family has their own way of doing things like this. There is no right or wrong but your DD should be grateful.

Sleeping on a hotel room floor is horrible but DD2 still sounds ungrateful.

Is there something else going on between the sisters? My sister would have also slept on the floor rather than share a double bed with me, it stems back to her childhood insecurities about her perceiving me to be the favourite (not true).

I would be very upset that they were spoiling my memories of such a fantastic holiday. At their age you could have just gone with your husband and left them behind.

I think as generous as you are paying for a holiday for your DC you perhaps underestimated how difficult it would be for two adults who are not partners to share a bed. I imagine it spoilt a part of your DD's holiday and she was the only one sleeping on the floor. As much as she did receive a wonderful free holiday I think she has a right to be disappointed and a little grumpy over it being spoilt for her by the sleeping arrangements. I would personally apologise, explain you hadn't foreseen any problems like this and you appreciate that it caused her problems. But I would ask her to move forward from it now and not to drag it up in every argument you have from now on (if you think she might).

They could of took turns being on the floor. Or you could asked the hotel if they had any doubles +twins, rather then the 2 doubles, or ask for a camp bed. Americans go over and beyond customer service I'm sure they would of sorted something out for youv

There wasn't any other bed options. DD1 wouldn't take it in turns.

Thank you for the replies! I suppose I'm just asking if I was unreasonable for not booking an extra room.

1. Top and tail. With separate blankets.
2. Did you pay for Dd1 when she was 18? If so, Dd2 has a point.

3 It's miserable sleeping on the floor. 4 The holiday is over. You had an 'amazing' time. Tell them to move on.

If you had the money I suppose you could have booked an extra room, seeing gas they are two adults. But they should have been greatful for you taking them in the first place! I'd have loved that at their age.

Like fuck would I apologise for two adults being unable to sort out their own sleeping arrangements. They would be perfectly capable of asking reception themselves for a cot, another room at their expense or compromising on sharing floor duties. There is no way my mum would have put up with my sister and I bitching and moaning when she had paid for us to go away. There is no point in arguing about it now anyway. It's done, holiday over, they made their decisions at the time.

As not gas

The double beds in NY hotels aren't that big. Been there done that. They are Queen beds. So if you are sleeping in one with someone who is restless or whatever it's not fun.

DD2 sounds really ungrateful.

I don't think you should have booked 2 rooms. They should have been able to sort it out between themselves.

I've got 2 sons (20&22). DS1 has a double bed at his army barracks and DS2 has one at uni. If they go to visit each other they just bunk up together. They usually take a blanket incase one or the other steals the covers.

Why didn't they just ask reception for a folding bed?

And refusing to take it in turns is very childish.

The op didn't have money for another room, the DD were aware of the sharing situation and were both happy to go along. It's not like the sharing situation was sprung on them. Moaning afterwards to their mum is really ungrateful-the issue was between the two sisters and as adults, they shouldn't need mum to step in and referee or sort them out. Did they even attempt to top/tail, or ask the hotel for a cot op?

I think you were very generous paying for your DDs/allowing them to stay in your room for free. If they wanted an extra room, they should pay for it themselves. At 18 and 20, surely they have part time jobs? If they weren't willing/able to pay, they should have compromised on sharing the bed/taking turns on the floor. DD1 seems pretty unreasonable. I wouldn't have tolerated her behaviour refusing to take her turn on the floor. Is there some other issue at play here?

I would happily have shared with either of my sisters for a holiday I didn't have to pay for, even though DSis1 snores and Dsis2 strokes me, which is really annoying, so i don't think you were unreasonable to not book an extra room.

I went to NYC with work this time last year and it was very very expensive. I went with family when i was 19 or so and we all stayed in the same room because of the cost. I wasn't paying as i was at university but i didn't complain and wouldn't have missed out.

it was up to them. i'd stay out of it if i were you.

Honestly, yes, I think it's a little bit unreasonable to expect two young women to share a room with their parents let alone share a bed as well.

However, if that was the only way you could afford to go and if they both knew the score in advance and still chose to go, then tough, really. Perhaps you could have intervened a bit more to stop the 20 year old encroaching on the 18 year old's space and being selfish with the duvet. Knowing what sisters are like, I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't doing it deliberately to force her sister onto the floor and get the bed all to herself.

DD1 doesn't have a part time job. DD2 does. I couldn't charge DD2 as DD1 has never paid for a holiday.

Yes DD2 did try top/tail but still didn't get any sleep.

Your dd made her choice no-one forced her, honestly if sleeping on the floor rather than in the bed with her own separate cover was what she deemed to be the better option she's very dramatic.
Think of this as a lesson learned. Next time you go away don't be bullied into spending money you don't have present the options before booking and let them decide whether or not they want to come based on this info.

Having teens myself I really feel for you op. You put a lot of effort into providing you all with a nice family holiday and then had to put up with this nonsense over shadowing things, it sucks!