Who is BU? DD slept on the floor all holiday.

[MalibuCream]

We have just come back from a holiday to New York. It was amazing and I'm so pleased we went. We are not the richest family by any means, I have been saving for this for years. We booked a hotel room that has 2 double beds. I really couldn't afford another room. It was me, DH and 2 DDs. They are 18 and 20. 1 is at sixth form (yes, I know it's exam period but it was half term and she was more than happy to go, she is also set to do well, didn't want anyone moaning at me about that!) the other is at uni. I paid for both of them for everything. I didn't really expect not to.

DD1 was apparently very difficult to sleep with - constantly stealing all the cover (so she got another cover from reception after the first night) and then she kept sleeping very closely to her, etc. etc. so DD2 ended up moving on to the floor. DD2's argument was that DD1 should have gone on the floor as she was the one being difficult, DD1 says no as DD2 was the one having a problem with it.

DD2 says it would have been nice to have booked a 2nd room and that when she was 16, I wouldn't have let DD sleep on the floor (when DD1 was 18). I say that they're both adults and quite lucky to get a full holiday paid! DD2 says that DD1 got holidays paid for at her age. She just comes across very ungrateful! Who is in the right!?

And a student without a job? That's unusual

Not really. I'd say less than 50% of people I knew at uni had a term time job. Most did oick up casual work over there summer but not term time.

DD1 isn't coming off well once it's been said that she refused to take turns on the floor. Also that she doesn't have a job but her sister does.

YADNBU, but out of interest, why didn't your DH sleep in the same bed as one child and you with the other? I

Don't know about anyone else, but even though I love both my parents lots at the age of 18/20 I wouldn't particularly have wanted to share a bed with my Dad at that age. Same goes for my Mum.
I think I'd have rather took the floor option ]

Voteme if you had read the OP like you said you wouldn't have written about her "taking DC out of school."

As CheeseQueen said

I'd have told them both to stfu and plan never to take them on holiday again

They got a free holiday so they should have put up with it. They don't sound like they were properly appreciative.

They should have resolved it like adults. Ask for a folding bed, taken turns, etc.

They got a free holiday to NYC.

A queen sized bed should be ample size for them both- DH and I manage in a double and I am sure your daughters are more slender than us! If not they could have got a blow up bed for $20 or so
Brats!

Sorry you are correct I did say taking out of school. I meant taking away from home just before her exams. If they are her A levels then I'd have thought even the most relaxed and confident of students would want to be at home revising. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dd1 doesn't come out of this well refusing to take turns esp just before her sister's A levels, and if I were DD2 I'd think that you'd wimped out of your responsibilities as a parent not making her.

That's because I'm an insecure second daughter.

But DD2 should now grow up and put it behind her. If she's like me she'll find it hard.

Oh come on. At 18, even still in education, you should be able to sort out your own minor problems and not moan to your mum who has paid for a holiday for you.

Sure, I agree. Just saying if you're an insecure daughter you're an insecure daughter. And saying you should be able to sort it out doesn't make one less insecure.

Did you have a thread recently about the younger DD not wanting to go on holiday because the older sister was being mean to her? Apologies if I am mixing you up with another poster. If I'm not then I think your older daughter is a right madam.

DD1 should have taken turns on the floor.

DD1 come across as a bit of a jerk. She should have done half the sleeping on the floor.

I have a sister I had to share beds with during holidays, who's a difficult sleeper, and I've at times woken up with her having stolen all the blanket and lying across me!

No idea how people think putting your head towards the stinky feet of someone who moves a lot in her sleep would improve things any!

My sister wasn't so bad that I ever opted to sleep on the floor, but yes, I would rather share a bed with one of my parents.

Don't know about anyone else, but even though I love both my parents lots at the age of 18/20 I wouldn't particularly have wanted to share a bed with my Dad at that age. Same goes for my Mum.

Do you have siblings?
My sister and my mother are both adult women I'm related to, so pretty much the same, except that my mother will stay on her side of the bed, while my sister won't!

And as for my father, well, better a man on the other side of the bed, than a woman using you as pillow!

They should be able to sort it between them selves.
If they really couldn't, they should had asked for your help at the time to resolve things.
As she didn't do either, what does DD2 think she's going to achieve moaning about it now -aside from spoiling your memories of a trip of a lifetime? It just seems mean spirited of her to me - try suggesting she thinks a bout the good parts of the trip, because thats what you want to do at this stage.
It sounds a bit as if they both take you for granted tbh, maybe take a little trip without them sometime, so that they realise they shouldn't assume they'll be invited if they're going to squabble like small children?

I don't think you should have booked a once in a lifetime holiday before DD2's exams. All very well, saying she had the choice whether to come or not but how horrible to have to stay at home and revise while mum, dad and sister go on an amazing holiday.

I don't think you should have let her sleep on the floor for an entire holiday because her sister is selfish and mean.

Is her name Cinderella?

I don't think you should have let her sleep on the floor for an entire holiday because her sister is selfish and mean.

The two sisters in question are 18 and 20. Surely at that age you should be able to be told "suck it up, get on with each other and share a bed" for the duration of the holiday?!
The OP didn't make her dd sleep on the floor. She chose to do so.

It cant have been comfortable. 4 adults in a 2 bed hotel room. No privacy at all not even in the evening to go to bed and sleep alone.

But I would have sucked it up for a free trip to NYC.

Next time leave them behind.

Some people are an absolutely pain to share a bed with. Having shared beds with my kids, some lie flat still all night but one twirls around like a bloody top and is a nightmare. If your DD1 is one of these active sleepers I think your DD2 is quite entitled to be annoyed at her sister for not taking turns on the floor.

YWNBU to not book another room. Assuming DD2's complaints were justified your DD1 sounds really self-centred to have not swapped time on the floor and I'd be somewhat inclined to tell her that if she can't share better on holiday then you won't be paying for her again. DD2 sounds a bit ungrateful, so I'd also be inclined to tell her I had heard her but she needs to shut up about it now. Younger siblings often feel the short end of the straw on things like this and it's a tricky time as they transition to adulthood, so I'd be more inclined to cut her some slack (not too much though!).

Sounds to me like DD2 should not be told to suck it up and be an adult, when her older sister seems to be the pain!

At 20 years old DD1 should be mature enough to share a bed without stealing covers and moving all over the place, and forcing her sister out of bed. For a free holiday, DD1 could have taken a turn on the floor. Or stayed on her side of the bed in the first place!

At 20 years old DD1 should be mature enough to share a bed without stealing covers and moving all over the place, and forcing her sister out of bed.

Some people are naturally twitchy sleepers. Are you fully aware what you're doing when you're asleep?
I sometimes give an involuntarily snort or my legs twitch.
Don't mean to but probably piss off my bed partner.
Yes,she should have taken turns and slept on the floor. She didn't though, so the one who couldn't stand staying in the same bed as her had the option of the floor, or presumably a sofa?
Even if no sofa who actually cares where you sleep when you're on holiday?
I'd have happily crashed on the floor for a free holiday. Still would actually!

I would not be surprised if the upset at having to sleep on the floor all week is as much about the injustice of her sister not sharing as it is about the floor being uncomfortable. Sibling rivalry doesn't just disappear when the youngest turns 18. If this sort of hardline from her older sister has frequently meant she's got the short straw in the past then from her perspective it possibly makes the whole family holiday one more example of how she's gets walked all over and nobody seems to care.