Naughtiest thing you've done...

[Maxandrubyrubyandmax]

Sod the manefestos this is the thing we need to know about our potential leaders. TM trashed a farmers livelihood, jezza was so sick and depraved he can't talk about it! (Might be paraphrasing) AIBU to ask you to put naughty them both with your naughty tales. Best poster should obviously get the keys to number 10

Oh wow tryingtobepc hope the weekend goes well!

I had something similar over less time and still think of him often as it was the most amazing sex of my life and we are sort of good friends when we keep in and out of contact

I broke my brother's nose (when we were kids!)

And it wasn't really an accident...

When DD did a wee in one of the display toilets in Homebase I couldn't face the hassle of finding an assistant and telling them, so I just put the lid down and scarpered.

I also shoplift occasionally but who pays £3.50 for a kids birthday card

I know this thread is lighthearted, but have you not heard of Card Factory, where they sell 29p cards? Or, better yet, 10 for £1?

Uhm, ran away from home for a week with a friend when I was 13, I was in the local papers and there were searches out looking for us.

Found out boyfriend was cheating on me when I found a ladies toothbrush in his bathroom (long time ago). I pissed on both toothbrushes and put them back.

Shoplifted nail polishes for the hell of it (grown woman).

Had sex in various public places.

Took plenty of recreational and highly illegal drugs as a student.

Soooo many more!

Had sex on the top deck of a bus. There was no one else on the top deck with it was in the middle of the day so I'm almost certain there were people downstairs.

I don't do many naughty things; I've always been very by the book, even as a child.

I've never taken drugs, I don't drink alcohol, I have never (and would never) cheat, I've never broken the law...

I suppose the naughtiest thing would be pretending I was too sick to see a friend when I've been fine and just fancied being on my own (I'm an introvert). I've done that a fair few times.

Oh well if we're including our sex lives then yes DH and I are adventurous; done it in many places and are very kinky and practice BDSM etc.

My sex life is quite the opposite to my straight laced normal life

Oh God, so many things. Most involve sex with unavailable or unsuitable men, often in inappropriate places. I'm more sensible now!

Had sex in a park (at night, no kids about!), had sex in a field, had sex in public toliets and numerous other places.

As a teen, the naughtiest thing I do nowdays is anal.

Just remembered I used to wipe a tea bag on the floor before making my (vile) boss his morning brew and sometimes spit in it. 🙈

Put mouse poo In XH's Christmas dinner a few weeks after I'd found out about the OW and the whole time I was cooking the meal he was on Fscebook with her slagging me off (and I was in other room reading it because his security settings were shit). Also before I served up the mouse poo laden Yorkshire puddings I put gravy all over his plate and then got the dog to lick it clean.

The best thing is I told everyone what I'd done. All his mates had dropped him because of what he's done to me and DCs so everyone he knows was laughing at him.

Slept with my boss in one of the offices at work. We're now equals and working together again...

I grew up with a father who, whilst never openly 'abusive', was quite a violent and aggressive man. Think punching walls, being too rough when disciplining us, shouting a lot. I vowed I would never be in a relationship with anyone like him.
One day my DP and I were arguing and he slammed a door in frustration. There was something stuck in the door and it broke. I told him I would not allow him to destroy our home, he was childish etc.
Later in the day I asked him a question that he took the wrong way and he stood up, slamming his laptop screen down ridiculously hard and stormed out the room. I was sure that he would have broken it, and was glad that it may teach him a lesson. I opened it up, and was a bit gutted to realise he hadn't broken it.... so I picked up a pair of scissors and smashed the screen.
I let him believe for a few hours that he had done it, and then confessed

I was rather wild in late teens / early 20's but the thing that really sticks out is having sex with 3 different men over 1 weekend (ex, new beau and FWB). FWB ran a pub so sex was after hours in the pub on pretty much every available surface. Haven't been able to play pool since

Gave rather famous rock star a blow job in the tour bus and got a standing ovation from rest of band 😈
I'm not sorry

I can't think of that many. As I am generally a good person.

Had sex on a grave in a graveyard.

Frequently drink beer while driving (private road)

Bribes a MOT pass with a bottle of whiskey.

I've gobbed in a (horrible) customers pudding and she ate the lot. I've also given a blow job in a car park standing against the side of the car.

I'm all about the class, me....cracks knuckles

Gosh ....

I suppose if my partner knew I sometimes serve myself the nicer looking portions at dinner (crispier, bigger, cheesier etc) he wouldn't be too happy about that! I also accidentally machine washed an expensive cashmere jumper and now it's a crop top for me.

(i also went down on him on an abandoned beach on a thai island and a night bus and a night train)

Cracking up at some of these....

As a teen;
Given a blow job in a graveyard
Shoplifted cigarettes from my DSB shop
Taken far too many amphetamines
Had sex with someone else's boyfriend in a phone box

As an adult;
During a short spell of singledom in my 20s I had sex with 2 different men on the same day.

I've been very well behaved in the last 20 years though.

I use the coffee spoon to make tea for visitors who're rude. I have no qualms about eating the little corner first from a Muller yoghurt.

I used to be an escort and am now married to one of my clients.