Naughtiest thing you've done...

[Maxandrubyrubyandmax]

Sod the manefestos this is the thing we need to know about our potential leaders. TM trashed a farmers livelihood, jezza was so sick and depraved he can't talk about it! (Might be paraphrasing) AIBU to ask you to put naughty them both with your naughty tales. Best poster should obviously get the keys to number 10

Oh fuck I've remembered something worse but I can't post it. I will be ripped to shreds.

I changed the company hold musak from a very nice piece by Handel to Jethro Tull's 'Aqualung'.

I convinced the VP of Operations that he had to attach the electrostatic dissipating strip for his shoes (so he could safely walk through the factory without combusting) to his left foot 'as it's closer to your heart and the blood flow makes it work better'. Several weeks later I found out he had been telling all the visitors who he'd taken through the site this.

I told the HR Manager that he was bringing materials onto the site and QA had to test and approve them for use. I attached a formal written procedure for the tests that had to be performed on the choc ices he was buying for the lunch room vending machine, which required a sample of each box had to be given to me for 'testing and approval'. This would necessitate the destruction of the sample. Unfortunately my letter was a bit too formerly worded, and it scared him. He took it to the site manager as he was worried he was in serious trouble. The site manager told him 'She's messing with you Vern, ignore it'. No free ice cream for me.

I once cantered through a wheat field (on a horse obvs!) I was about 10 and I knew how naughty it was but I couldn't resist!

Put that in your pipe May!!

Had sex in a lift when doing my paper round.
shoplifted various things.
Took illegal substances.
Had sex for money.
Do I win?

Booked a house viewing, not because I liked the house but because I fancied the estate agent. Flirted outrageously booking the viewing and then had sex with him whilst the owners had vacated their house for the viewing Was young which is no excuse really.

I deliberately give wrong answers on surveys. Our local newspaper's website for instance, every couple of days they have questions that they want you to answer before you can read the articles. Whatever I actually think I always tick the opposite box.
Hardcore me.

I changed the company hold musak from a very nice piece by Handel to Jethro Tull's 'Aqualung'.

This, this is genius!

I regularly shoplift to feed DD,I'm embarrassed and ashamed

Got Aqualung as an earworm now...

Themysteriousjackalope - genius 😀

got stupidly drunk and threw up on a policeman. said policeman was lovely and gave me a lift home in his police car, where I showed my gratitude by wetting myself on the back seat.

Slept with 2 different guys in a weekend, took lots of drugs, slept wit her now dh at work in the basement- it started as a ONS.

I feel a little naughtier than TM!

When my exDH and I had separated, I went back to our house to pick up some of my stuff, only to find OW had already moved her things in. Skimpy G-strings and stuff like that. Sprinkled chilli powder liberally in the drawer...

Actually, thinking about it now, cross-dressing was part of his mid-life crisis - the skimpies might well have been his. Oh well.

Shamelessly place marking.

Used a Asda carrier bag to Tesco!

Beat that!

OMG InkyChlo can you not get any help or support.

How old is your DD? Can you talk to school, nursery or HV? There will be help for you.

I'm afraid I had sex with a woman whilst married. I'm still married. I still think about the sex I had with the woman........

Gave DH a blow job on a stage in the city centre

Had sex in a bus stop

Had sex in a football stadium corporate box on a matchday during half time

I never pay for parking in council pay and displays. NEVER.

Have had two tickets in three years and probably saved about £200

I met a man I'd never even spoken to in a hotel for sex, and I opened the door in my underwear.

Hideously dangerous, but so thrilling

I'm assuming 'naughty' is quite childish so here goes:

I shut my little sister in a big mesh bin in our garden (like a cylindrical cage made of chicken wire- it didn't have a bin bag in it at the time) and ran away to play with my mates.

I was about 5 she was about 3. She could have opened the door to get out but she didn't realise that and my parents had to let her out.

She still hasn't forgiven me 35 years later!

It's a long and ongoing story but I have been living on £80 a month only for 5 months

I poked out tiny tears' eye with a kirby grip and blamed my little sister.

I went round a roundabout the wrong way (and got stopped by the police for it!)

In my defence, it was a flat mini roundabout and no other road users about (other than said sneaky policeman)

I also don't pay and display in the Waitrose car park, but use the scan as you shop and claim £1 parking ticket discount.

Had an affair. Got husband to look after the DC's while I went away for the weekend with him several times. DH was not good in bed. OM fairly spectacular.The actual sex was fairly naughty too, ropes, belts and blindfolds...