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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naughtiest thing you've done...

195 replies

Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 08/06/2017 21:15

Sod the manefestos this is the thing we need to know about our potential leaders. TM trashed a farmers livelihood, jezza was so sick and depraved he can't talk about it! (Might be paraphrasing) AIBU to ask you to put naughty them both with your naughty tales. Best poster should obviously get the keys to number 10

OP posts:
LaMereDuChat · 10/06/2017 18:34

Got stuck in the moat of a national monument - I fell down it while tripping and was laughing so much I couldn't work out how to climb out.

HereInMyHead · 10/06/2017 18:40

Had sex with another woman on the spinners in a launderette in the middle of the day.

libra101 · 10/06/2017 18:47

Listed an item to auction on Ebay and someone asked me to cancel and sell to them. I did do, but felt guilty afterwards.

Does that count?

Arthur2shedsJackson · 10/06/2017 18:54

I've told EVERYONE - randoms, husband, children etc that I was on University Challenge. It would have been at a time when it wasn't recorded so no way of proving or disproving. Occasionally wax lyrical about how charming Bamber Gascoigne was. End up believing myself.

HorraceTheOtter · 10/06/2017 19:05

All the drugs. Shoplifted a lot as a teenager. Slept with two different people in the same day as few times. Took a customer home from work and slept with him. Let myself and a colleague back in to work (key holders) after hours for a small party. Got very drunk, stoned or on ketamin for every day at college, and staff member kicked me out of her lesson for it, I was good at pretending to be sober when I felt like it - she was forced to apologise by HoD. Pretended I'd given up smoking to DH, kept up this pretence for 3 years without him realising. Fucked someone I knew had a long term girlfriend. Quite a few times. Had sex with someone I'd met 10 minutes before in the middle of a park (it was dark). I don't do so many ridiculous things now I don't take drugs.

Cuppatea85 · 10/06/2017 19:08

Cranky doodle be even naughtier and decant the cheap stuff into the expensive bottles and take them back for a refundWink

motherintraining · 10/06/2017 19:12

Had sex in uni library in middle of night with boyfriend but slimey security guard saw us on cctv and winked at me ever after....

NoPressureNoDiamonds · 10/06/2017 19:22

Apart from pretty standard sex and drugs stuff, once when I was a waitress a customer was rude to me. Before I brought out his dessert I snuck his spoon into the toilets and pissed on it. No regrets - what middle aged man thinks it's cool to be rude and disrespectful to a 17 year old who is earning an honest few quid on a Saturday night??

Bleurghghghgh · 10/06/2017 19:41

I spent my entire late teens and early twenties being a total manipulative bitch so there's loads

One that sticks out is staying at my work friend's house overnight doing coke (he'd paid for) and drinking. I made it in the next day because I was still off my face and he didn't because I'd refused to let him sleep. I threw him under the bus and told work I had 'a problem' and he'd been encouraging me to take drugs all night. He got fired and work paid for me to have therapy.

We're both clean now and amazingly he's forgiven me. I was HORRIBLE

OpalIridescence · 10/06/2017 19:52

Cut the plastic eyes off my teenage brother's secret teddy bear. I put them in the cup of tea my parents forced me to make for him.

Was a wonderful moment when his smug face turned to horror when he realised what was floating in his beverage, the wankbadger.

Bleurghghghgh · 10/06/2017 20:03

Oh another (less depressing one):

Got HAMMERED in the middle of the day and the driver of the cab I was in took me to the local police cells on realising I couldn't pay.
A lovely female PC gave me a coffee and popped me in a mini van they were using to pick up other PCs around the city before taking me home.
On the way to pick up the last two everyone in the van so far (about 6 PCs excluding the driver) were all having a laugh and singing a song. I suddenly decided I wanted to be home now and shouted 'I DONT THE PAY MY TAXES FOR A LOAD OF POLICE GOING ON A JOLLY!' I was very quickly put in my place and told they could make a detour back to the cells. I apologised profusely and thanked them very much when I did make it home.

That story still makes me cringe

ScissorBow · 10/06/2017 20:07

I've got out of the UK and into Italy without a passport. Before 9/11 so undoubtedly much easier then.

MaMisled · 10/06/2017 20:16

When I was younger I needed to get to a town 35 miles away one night but had no money. I booked a cab and chatted up the driver all the way and when he told me the price of the fare I offered him a blow job. Luckily he thought that was fair recompense.

truthwithin · 10/06/2017 20:19

I once stole an eyeliner pencil from 'the pound shop'. Felt so guilty I put £5 in the charity tin a week later. Ah rebel teenage years!

Smallya · 10/06/2017 20:30

While walking home after a drunken night, we rearranged a shit load of orange road cones so they diverted all traffic up a one way road system.

8am the following morning the whole town was total and utter chaos and everywhere was gridlocked for about a mile square. The Police had to be called and it took hours to sort out the massive mess. It even made the local evening news.

Ooops Blush

Badcat666 · 10/06/2017 20:36

Orally pleasured my OH on a train in the afternoon. Twice. Different trains mind you.

Badcat666 · 10/06/2017 20:37

Oh and whilst very drunk me and my bestest mate stole traffic cones and shopping trolleys from a nearby M&S and arranged them round her mates car. We were vewy vewy drunk....

stickyface · 10/06/2017 20:41

Nc for this

I go to bukkake/sex parties with my boss on the pretence of working away, something's we actually schedule a meeting so we have a valid reason to be away

The worst was attending a local one in the afternoon and attending a meeting afterwards I had to put my hair up as I hadn't managed to remove all the evidence Blush

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 10/06/2017 20:49

I go to bukkake/sex parties with my boss on the pretence of working away, something's we actually schedule a meeting so we have a valid reason to be away

And we have a winner!

Smallya · 10/06/2017 20:50

Cool name change stickyface Grin

stickyface · 10/06/2017 21:04

Oh I win something! The name change was rather good (if I say so myself!)

tccat · 10/06/2017 21:07

Sticky I love it!!! can I come? pun intended 😂😂😂

TitsalinaBumSquash · 10/06/2017 21:11

My favourite answer to a Twitter feed on what Jezza might have done that was naughty was a danger wank in the House of Commons. 😂

I wonder if Theresa was thinking "shit! Have they found out about that dream I had about Gove and Boris?! 😱"

Earthmother1 · 10/06/2017 21:54

When I was about eleven I switched the sugar and flour round in a classmates collection of cake ingredients (she'd put one in the drawer so she wouldn't get them mixed up). Neither she nor the teacher could work out why the cake had gone so horribly wrong when it came out of the oven...

MrsChopper · 10/06/2017 21:59

stickyface wins the thread 😂

When I was young and daft I used to steal pens from a local shop. I had quite a collection.

I read my best mate's diary.

I pinched a packet of fags.

Had sex in a lake in broad daylight.

Had sex with someone else's boyfriend. It wasn't even that good but I got a thrill out of how much he lusted after me all the time Blush

I am all sensible now.