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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naughtiest thing you've done...

195 replies

Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 08/06/2017 21:15

Sod the manefestos this is the thing we need to know about our potential leaders. TM trashed a farmers livelihood, jezza was so sick and depraved he can't talk about it! (Might be paraphrasing) AIBU to ask you to put naughty them both with your naughty tales. Best poster should obviously get the keys to number 10

OP posts:
BeBeatrix · 09/06/2017 20:48

I'm very well-behaved now, but used to be less so, particularly sexually, including

-having sex in a very famous cathedral

-having sex at a party when I was a teenager, in the same room as the other 20-30 teenagers who were staying over... not all of whom were asleep when we began, and none of whom were by the end.

-sleeping with 3 different men in one day

Divaroses26 · 09/06/2017 21:19

When I was 17 I was on holidays with my parents abroad & they became friendly with another family...I ended up having a very saucy affair with the father of that other family, he was on holiday with his partner & three children. Blush

Fast forward, we are still friends now, he and said partner split (not as a result of me and her partner having it off!) and we often speak about what happened and reminisce!

Catra · 09/06/2017 21:27

There's no way I'm admitting to most of my misdemeanours, although I will confess that one night when I was walking home drunk I moved the windscreen wipers on every car on the street so that they were pointing upwards and changed the dial on my nasty neighbours doorstep requesting 6 pints from the milkman instead of the usual one.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 09/06/2017 21:31

Went down an escalator on the London Underground without a dog.

Notices say that "dogs must be carried" but I didn't have one on me

MoiraRosesMeltdown · 09/06/2017 21:40

When desperately unhappily married to ex Dh, I started flirting with a married guy at work, and eventually gave him a blow job in the toilet. He told his wife who also works with us. We ended up having a threesome after the office party,

SmallVera · 09/06/2017 21:43

Following the toothbrush theme: As a teen my frenemy left her toothbrush after a sleepover. She'd been particularly cunty with me so I cleaned the dogs teeth with it before I sweetly gave it back :)

Jellykat · 09/06/2017 21:55

When i found out a friend had been shagging my then partner, i dumped him, then went over to hers the following night, and poured brake fluid over her car... which removed the paintwork nicely Grin

Headinthedrawer · 09/06/2017 21:56

Pissed in an ex friends Clinique body wash.I would never do something like that now.
I used to take a lot of acid in my teens.

DeadMorose · 09/06/2017 21:58

Had sex with 4 different guys in 24 hours. Yes, my fanjo was sore for a long time.

Stole one ONS wife's jewellery, when leaving.

Wiped my arse with my abusive dickhead brother's toothbrush.

Shoplifted in my teens.

And the most horrible one - clicked "I have read terms and conditions" without actually reading them.

Birdsbeesandtrees · 09/06/2017 22:01

I've also had many a shag in public.

I got chucked out of a bar for having sex in the toilet.

Mufferdoodle · 09/06/2017 22:06

I worked with a horrible woman who tried telling me over the phone that I had to do something. She had been giving me a hard time for several months. I responded by singing shut the f**k up repeatedly down the phone at her. Got pulled in for a disciplinary and denied all knowledge of the call ever taking place. Suggested to my boss that maybe she had some mental health issues to make up something so nasty about me. No further action taken in my disciplinary.

Also blackmailed my ex fiancé. He was a copper. I caught him cheating. Told him I would send all his swinger and kinky profiles and messages to his boss if he didn't reimburse me for the £3000 for what I'd spent on the wedding - including 20 bottles of champagne (which I kept).

wikedminx · 09/06/2017 22:11

when I was 16,was on a long drive home in back of my parents car, with son of friends of family who was 18, i kind of fell asleep, woke up with my head in his lap, and lets just say something came up between us!!! (whistles)
His zip fell open! and lets say I had a bit of an education ;)
We then dated for a while :D

CoolCarrie · 09/06/2017 22:16

Shagged long standing FWB ( who I loved) against a tree in the pouring rain, in a graveyard , that was fun! Cleaned his toilet with his toothbrush when I found out he had been with someone who I couldn't stand!
Broke the windscreen wipers off exp car, 4 times in total, he was a dick

IBleedCoffee · 09/06/2017 22:24

I had a fumble with a stranger I couldn't even see in my swimmers in a steam room at my gym....it was full of other people too. We only stopped at a fumble as he got a bit excited a bit too fast!

I shaved a friends eyebrows off and stuck them back on using eyelash glue

We put a mars bar in a sleeping bag and made a friend think they'd shat themselves in the morning with it all over their leg

I got drunk on Concorde at 13 and stole a mototboat

I had sex in my old science lab at a school reunion and had to hide when people came in.

iamdazedandconfused · 09/06/2017 22:30

As a teen I used to tell my parents that my boyfriend was picking me up in his car (late at night) to go for a drive around. I was actually being picked up by another guy that I was utterly in love with to go and have sex in his car Blush both of us had partners, but at the time it was one of those all consuming young loves and it felt amazing. My bf at the time was a horrible manipulative arse so I didn't feel bad about cheating on him one bit. I still feel guilty now that the other guy had been cheating on his gf though.

Also had sex with now DFiance when we were sharing a hotel room with another couple we were friends with. We were teens at the time. Pretty sure they never noticed Grin

I haven't admitted either of these things to anyone IRL Blush

JaneEyre70 · 09/06/2017 22:31

Nicked a mahoosive roadsign that said Men at work (she'd just got remarried) and stuck it on my friends mums lawn at 2am..... she was fuming and put a note on FB saying whoever had put it there needed to take it back else she was calling the Police. We giggled for days after. I offered to put it back in my boot to take to the council depot and she thought I was very considerate and got me a bottle of wine..........Blush

Scottishchick39 · 09/06/2017 22:32

In a drunken rage after being ditched by my boyfriend who had left his car outside my house, I dragged a rock down the length of it. Next day I denied it completely and have still never admitted to it 😳. This was 20 years ago and we're now married with two kids.

SoEverybodyDance · 09/06/2017 22:33

Ooh! I love these... I'd like to go out for a drink with many of you naughty girls...

On a long hall flight the man sitting in the seat next to me offered me a valium. I took it and we started drinking... In the middle of the night, when everyone was asleep, we had sex under a blanket. It was marvellous!

The following morning I discovered six quarter bottles of wine that I'd drunkenly stashed in the seat pocket in front of me. I stowed them in my carry on and gave my neighbour a winning smile as I left...

Ladymadness · 09/06/2017 22:46

i cant tell my worst ones but ill tell you a couple ...

I once had sex in the middle of a snow covered field wilst it was still snowing. it sounds romantic but trust me it isnt its just cold and blurgh 0 out of 10 would NOT recomend

when i was 14 i snogged one of the men who worked at our local balti behind the shops he was 20 (i told him i was 17) it was good Wink

10 years ago i almost killed my ex bf. he was horrible and violent. i was hiding in the bathroom to stop him beating me up when i snaped and thought im not doing this shit.
opend the door punched him square in the face and sent him flying backward down the stairs. as he hit the bottom someone had opened the door so he landed outside and smashed his face on the small wall they had by the front door (he lived obviously but looked like he had been a few rounds with mike tyson) sorry not sorry Grin

plinkyplonkydappledonkey · 09/06/2017 22:47

I fell out with my neighbours so, obviously, jumped on top of there car one night and had a wee. I also rearranged all their garden gnomes.....in someone else's garden.

I've since received therapy.

plinkyplonkydappledonkey · 09/06/2017 22:48

I also get their and there mixed up.

user1473494811 · 09/06/2017 22:55

I once peed in my ex's cup of tea, sat and watched him drink it and asked him if he enjoyed it. He said it was lovely. What he didn't know was that very same day I had received an anonymous letter telling me all about his affair. I didn't scream and shout but punished him in a thousand tiny ways. I calmly made plans to dump him once I had got all my ducks in a row. Sometimes I look back and wonder if I was nuts.

ladyballs · 09/06/2017 23:02

I chopped two lines of sherbet for a friend who was fond of powders. I was gutted his nose didn't foam.

justdontevenfuckingstart · 09/06/2017 23:08

Had sex in a police cell, wasn't under arrest.

clumsyduck · 09/06/2017 23:09

Took all the drugs Grin