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AIBU?

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Original poster

I know I'm BU but I'm fed up of DH

166 replies

theclick · 27/05/2017 22:17

DH's friends come round whenever there is an F1 race on as we have a decent TV to watch it on. I hate it when they come over. They eat all the food, leave all their mess in the sink and generally one of them then doesn't leave as he has nothing else to do. I'm pregnant and hormonal and I iust read in his watsapp that he has invited them again.

I'm over this! I do not want to come back to a messy house, with one of them still loitering. I also asked him to come shopping with me tomorrow as I'm sick of carrying heavy bags on my own and he refused. He is obsessed with the races and I honestly feel like hitting him over the head with a frying pan.

OP posts:
Bunbunbunny · 27/05/2017 22:19

Remove the fuse from the to plug

DavidPuddy · 27/05/2017 22:21

Go shopping after the race. Then the loiterer has to leave and you still get your bags carried.

Sexstarvedredhead · 27/05/2017 22:22

Book a hotel break refuse to return until the place is sorted and book a food delivery for just after you get back.

ImperialBlether · 27/05/2017 22:23

Join in with the WhatsApp and tell them to bring their own bloody food and clear up after themselves.

And get yourself a TV for the bedroom and stay up there out of their way.

caffeinestream · 27/05/2017 22:26

Tell them to go to someone else's for a change!

Original poster
theclick · 27/05/2017 22:27

DavidPuddy last week I came home from the Tesco shop when they were just winding down. Because the sound was up so high on my husbands bastard speakers, they didn't even hear me come in, let alone offer to hold a bag. They also scream at the TV every 20 mins like it's a football match. It's not, at least I can get in to a match.

OP posts:
fanfrickintastic · 27/05/2017 22:28

Have you told him how you feel?

Queenofthestress · 27/05/2017 22:29

Tell him you already feel shit from being pregnant you don't need him being a selfish ass and taking over the place leaving a mess so can they bugger off to someone else's house for a change

Original poster
theclick · 27/05/2017 22:35

Yes and he says I make it difficult for his friends to come round. But I think my real issue is the one who doesn't leave. DH feels bad for him as his mates have all gotten married and are on to the kids stage. He has nothing to go home to.

Also, I feel DH wants me to make them snacks just like his mum did when they used to watch the race at hers. Sometimes I do, but then he needs to sort the dishwasher after!

Sometimes they go to someone else's place but the truth is their facilities aren't as nice (we have a good TV), and they don't get the same hospitality. To give you an idea - the loiterer once went for dinner at the other guy's house and got told to bring his own meal as the rest of their family were already sorted! So yes, the comfy sofas, nice screen and food and drink keeps them more interested in coming to ours :)

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 27/05/2017 22:37

There wasn't an F1 race last week?
I'm a huge fan so i understand him and his friends wanting to get together and watch, but it shouldn't be at your inconvenience.
You have every right to ask the loiterer to leave your home, that you want to relax and he has to leave. Make your husband go and do the shopping, and leave the mess for him to sort out!. I know it's not pleasant to look at for you, but leave it, wait for him to complain there's no food in the house,that it's a mess, there's no clean plates etc, and tell him if he wants to have his mates around, he has to pitch in.

Tomorrow is one of the biggest races on the calendar, and based on qualifying it's going to be a damn good race. As a fan i despair at the thought of taking the fuse out of the plug and him missing it, as i'd hate to miss it myself, but it may just be a good tactic to get your point across to either take over the TV yourself with something on you want to watch on a sunday for once, or for the remote to mysteriously disappear or the Tv to stop working for this particular race.

aintnothinbutagstring · 27/05/2017 22:40

Are you a maid, a waitress, a cleaner? If your dh wants to invite friends round, which is not unreasonable at all, he should be the one hosting them and cleaning up after them as I guess you would if it were your friends visiting. And as for the loiterer, I wouldn't be shy in telling him you and dh had plans for the rest of the day.

LagunaBubbles · 27/05/2017 22:41

It's your DH you have a problem with. Hitting him won't solve anything. Tell your DH to sort his own food and cleaning up, if it's bad just now it will be ten times worse when a baby cones along.

LagunaBubbles · 27/05/2017 22:42

And taking the fuse our of the plug is just plain stupid.

Original poster
theclick · 27/05/2017 22:42

Sorry meant the week before, maybe they blur in to one...

Also pls don't take my "hit him over the head with a frying pan" comment so literally!

OP posts:
Mysteriouscurle · 27/05/2017 22:43

You most certainly are NOT being unreasonable. Its your home as well as his.

Queenofthestress · 27/05/2017 22:43

You're not a maid and he's a grown ass man, he can make his own snacks and clean up after him and his mates
The loiterer needs to go, honestly,what I'd he expecting to happen when baby comes? That him and his mates are gonna be leaving mess for you to clean up after hes done sweet fuck all because he's watching the races?

Queenofthestress · 27/05/2017 22:44

*what is DH expecting

MasuMara · 27/05/2017 22:44

OP do you have a good tv? Not sure if you mentioned it.

You sound controlling. Reading his texts and not allowing his friends over.

Just tell him to clean up after them.

Original poster
theclick · 27/05/2017 22:46

is one of the biggest races on the calendar, and based on qualifying it's going to be a damn good race. As a fan i despair at the thought of taking the fuse out of the plug and him missing it, as i'd hate to miss it myself, but it may just be a good tactic to get your point across to either take over the TV yourself with something on you want to watch on a sunday for once, or for the remote to mysteriously disappear or the Tv to stop working for this particular year

I wouldn't get to just take on the TV as he will go mental...also we have more than one so it wouldn't achieve anything.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 27/05/2017 22:46

I didn't take it literally, I knew what you meant but it's much better to sort out problems than make so called references to domestic violence, which isn't a laughing matter and if a man had posted the same as you that he felt like hitting his wife with a frying pan there would be an outcry!

Original poster
theclick · 27/05/2017 22:47

*OP do you have a good tv? Not sure if you mentioned it.

You sound controlling. Reading his texts and not allowing his friends over.

Just tell him to clean up after them.*

Thanks, helpful. There's a reason it's been mentioned each time, but I can tell you want to be bitchy so go ahead.

I've tried to tell him to clean up. He doesn't.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/05/2017 22:48

Can you online shop to avoid carrying bags? It's worth having it set up for post baby.

I would tell DH that you're not facilitating his meet up. He needs to host and clear up afterwards. I'd either go out, spend the day in the garden or make myself a nest in the bedroom and leave him to it.

Original poster
theclick · 27/05/2017 22:50

Also MasuMara we read each other's phones. That's ok, that we have that level of transparency.

Nothing wrong with them coming over. But I'd like their crisp packets and coke cans to go in to the bin and not be left on my (VERY NICE LEATHER - take that if you think I'm showing off!) sofa, and their dirty glasses to go in the dishwasher.

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 27/05/2017 22:52

May just need to be blunt, tell him you're not happy, and you expect him to alter his priorities, as this will NOT be happening once the baby arrives.

TelephoneTree · 27/05/2017 22:53

Crikey. I'd say fine for them to come round but he sorts the food and clearing up. and loiterer gEnd of.

You aren't his mother. Unless you allow yourself to be. To me this is the biggest issue.

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