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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know I'm BU but I'm fed up of DH

166 replies

theclick · 27/05/2017 22:17

DH's friends come round whenever there is an F1 race on as we have a decent TV to watch it on. I hate it when they come over. They eat all the food, leave all their mess in the sink and generally one of them then doesn't leave as he has nothing else to do. I'm pregnant and hormonal and I iust read in his watsapp that he has invited them again.

I'm over this! I do not want to come back to a messy house, with one of them still loitering. I also asked him to come shopping with me tomorrow as I'm sick of carrying heavy bags on my own and he refused. He is obsessed with the races and I honestly feel like hitting him over the head with a frying pan.

OP posts:
PainCanBeBeautiful · 30/05/2017 12:36

I'm sorry I just don't agree with your way of thinking in this.

He is a grown man and can have whoever he likes round regardless really of wether the op likes them or not. If they are a bad person or insulting you etc then there is no reason they can't come round.

His friends come round once a fortnight. He's hardly taking the piss.

PainCanBeBeautiful · 30/05/2017 12:36

That should say if they are a bad personal etc then that's the only reason they shouldn't be able to come round.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 30/05/2017 12:59

"Who actually makes adult guests clear up? They are guests."

I don't suppose many people make their guests clear up - but most guests are grown adults who realise it needs doing and most decent ones usually offer to help clear up! This lot don't, they just expect the OP will do it. That's shit behaviour from supposed adults

Underbeneathsies · 30/05/2017 13:06

OP I do hope your OCD calms down before the baby arrives. I found it difficult to remain calm amidst the mess. I have a sensitive nose: an advantage with wines and perfumes, but not with children and animals!

Babies are messy, leaky, sweaty, they make random noises and flail about in a random manner. They smell different. Baby bath products smell awful to my nose. Houses with babies really can honk.

They have piddle and poos that don't arrive when you think they will, and often at the most inconvenient moments. I remember my bf baby spewing up her last meal all over the carpet, the seat, and herself, just as I had put her fancy new clothes on to go out to a restaurant with the gift giver of the fancy new clothes.
We had to scrub the carpet, seat cover and throw all her fancy clothes in the machine, bath her again and put on something which was clean. We were late.
We got the carpet professionally cleaned as there was a faint smell from it that I found really persisted, and that was exclusively bf puke, not stinky formula.

They cry and don't do what's expected, like sleep.

I didn't realise how introverted I was until I had my baby, then I just relished peace and quiet, and loved it when my DH took our baby off out, so I could restore myself.

I hope things go ok for you.

Re the friends coming over, Take before and after pictures of your house so you can show your DH and his mates what effect they have by not cleaning up. If they leave it in a mess, shame them!

Get ready for your baby arriving.
You might find you're "precious" about your baby when s/he arrives and not want any visitors at all, and that's allowed too.

crazycatz · 30/05/2017 13:53

Yanbu he's being really self centred. Fine to have friends round but he needs to clean up after and def help with shopping!

Ineke · 30/05/2017 17:28

After baby has arrived use the opportunity of a house full of Adults to babysit whilst you go out for a night out with your friends.However, they might stick baby in a bouncy cradle in front of TV!

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 30/05/2017 19:11

its your dh home as well and its 3 hours every other weekend, I can imagine the comments if you had friends over and dp was making it obvious he didn't want them there and insisting you have to go out to get petrol, its not reasonable.

However I sure as hell would not be providing snacks or clearing up after, but I would not be making my dh friends feel unwelcome, if you dont want to carry the shopping in get him to get it out of the car for you

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 30/05/2017 19:17

CoteDAzur happy to house swap with you for the week around the race, live north of you nice town Grin

veryveryquietly · 30/05/2017 19:46

@theclick next time Loiterer Friend hangs about after the others have left, stroll in and say "LF it is so kind of you to stay and help DH and I tidy up. Here, let me get the bin bags so you two can get started."

And yes yes yes internet shopping is the way forward. (Or at least for everything but fruit and veg, and then pick those up at Lidl, Aldi, or greengrocer separately.) Get your lists set up now, and it will all be much easier after the baby comes.

veryveryquietly · 30/05/2017 19:47

or rather, DH and me!

PainCanBeBeautiful · 30/05/2017 20:50

I agree online shopping is a godsend.

I have a daughter with a disability. In the early days of being home she had so much equipment to carry around that going out for anything other than a walk and a treat of something to eat out or clothes shopping, was just almost impossible. Only shopping helped so much and I still do most of my shop online and things like fruit, veg and meat I nip out for.

PainCanBeBeautiful · 30/05/2017 20:51

Online*

LK2boyzma · 31/05/2017 22:25

AlmostAJillSandwich..... yes there was a race last week! Massive fan here too
Wink

LK2boyzma · 31/05/2017 22:41

And as you say **OP, you have a 'good' tv, Sounds like one of those that you can 'pause', go and bring shopping in and continue without missing a thing! So your dh can use that function every other week when F1 is on! Wink

Shesaid · 01/06/2017 12:23

Try and imagine that - if he and his friends heard your complaint properly - that they would sympathise. If you have already decided that they are a bunch of selfish b.......s that you can't communicate with, they will think you are just trying to stop them having fun. SO - imagining that your DH might be a reasonable person, just ask him straight if he would think about the fact that you need a bit of peace and quiet in your own home, especially during pregnancy. That he keeps the sound to an acceptable level, clears up after himself and organises when to shop with you. If he wants to look after his friend - a generous thing to do - could he take him off to the pub after the game is over? He may not be able to hear you - but it's worth a try.

Bigbadboss · 01/06/2017 19:24

Possibly too late to comment but being pregnant you be got crippling morning sickness so lay on the sofa and don't move while his friends are there m

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