I know I'm BU but I'm fed up of DH

[theclick]

DH's friends come round whenever there is an F1 race on as we have a decent TV to watch it on. I hate it when they come over. They eat all the food, leave all their mess in the sink and generally one of them then doesn't leave as he has nothing else to do. I'm pregnant and hormonal and I iust read in his watsapp that he has invited them again.

I'm over this! I do not want to come back to a messy house, with one of them still loitering. I also asked him to come shopping with me tomorrow as I'm sick of carrying heavy bags on my own and he refused. He is obsessed with the races and I honestly feel like hitting him over the head with a frying pan.

But what on earth is gumming

I fear it may be one of those things that keeps getting mentioned on here that you should never google, like Dragon Butter and Blue Waffle.

I have no idea what any of these things are and it's likely I'll never know.

It will only get worse after the baby For some weird reason perfectly good men seem to ditch nearly all the housework they once did and because you spend all day with the baby you will end up doing nearly all the baby related jobs too even when he is at home. Unless you love doing it please don't make snacks for his friends anymore if they want that treatment when they visit him suggest he takes them all back round to his mums 😂
I imagine you are angry about this because your pregnant and you use to do it without a second thought, you may slide back into that mindset after baby but it's more than likely a few years down the line you will resent him more than ever. For your long term happiness try to nip this in the bud now.

Hmmm. I'd just let them get on with it and let them clean up. I'd feel a bit bad for his friend too if I'm honest and let him stay longer but make sure your DH does the washing up. Can you not make arrangements with any of your friends to go out whilst it's on and carry on later than the race is on for?

i just googled them barbara.....

Well.....at least i learnt something new today

Just please tell me 'gumming' was an autocorrect mega-fail?! or that it means something else where you live....

First rule of Mumsnet. Never, ever google.

Gumming = gaming? I hope

Refuse to clean up, even if it means the mess is left there for weeks and smells. It is his mess and up to him to clean up. Then another night have a girlie night where you have friends over, watch very loud tv, have a good laugh and dont worry about if youre loud and make a big mess, then clean it up (although Im sure your friends will clean any cups or plates etc and make sure the place is clean) with no fuss to show him how its done

OP I'm the same..im very OCD, I work hard for the things I have and just want folk who come to my house to respect my things and my home. No one eats in my living room, all cans go in the recycling bins, and no shoes either. Even my nieces and nephews know the rules at my house. All friends and family know my rules. I wouldn't go to someone's house and leave my mess everywhere, or eat all there food. When we have get togethers everyone brings something. It's just good manners.

You really do need to make your place a less attractive viewing venue! Make sure the fridge is empty of anything apart from fruit and veg, and put the TV remote in the dishwasher. Then go out.

Invite your friends over at the same time, start talking childbirth, periods and breastfeeding, that will cut short their stay.

Failing that hide the remote!

Seriously you have my sympathies, it seems like your DH is having his last taste a freedom as such before real life bites him on the bum and he faces responsibility as a father. His priorities will change once your little one arrives. (Hopefully)

Do an online shop, hire an odd job man to clean the place up after your DH's friends have left and book a room in a hotel.

You need to take care of yourself - you won't be pregnant forever but while you are, the most important person is you.

Stay strong!

Yeah its always the single men who want to mess up other guys home life. My bf had a guy come over to play FIFA all the time and its my TV because he smashed the old one. Also he doesn't have a job so he plays Xbox 24/7 so I just don't put up with. You're pregnant they are being incredibly selfish. My fav tactic for removing bums from the front room is too act just a bit weird and make everyone uncomfortable and distract everyone. They normally get the hint. Can't he go to their house or would their partner not put up with it? Hope it works out for you and remember these are guys you might have to be blunt.

Just invite all your mates over and watch a movie just make sure you hog the TV like he does

I'm sure there are pubs that show F1 races, aren't there?

I'd be annoyed with this situation too, tbh. IF he's going to have his mates round, fine, but he deals with the aftermath!
And how rude are they, never bringing anything with them! They should start sharing the load in terms of fronting up with snacks and beer or whatever.

As for carrying in the shopping, well I don't do that because I have a bad back, so I get it into the car myself (can do that ok from the trolley) and then when I get home, I just get DH to bring all the bags in from the car. To lighten your load before that point, I suggest you get more bags so that you don't have to fill them to the brim, which will help you out a bit more - but STILL get him to bring them in for you.

I take it this is your first child - he's going to have to start realising that he'll need to help out a bit more in the future, so might as well start practising now!
This is worth a watch too:
You should have asked - don't fall into this trap. :)

Can people stop troll hunting?!

Or perhaps they're too intellectually challenged to figure how to report posts to MNHQ.

He won't be able to do this one baba arrives so maybe this is a last fling situation? Tell him to stop being such an arse. You don't actually mind him having his mates over but it's not 1950 so he needs to get snacks and clear up and not expect you to do it. I think going shopping after the race (or before) is a good plan. He can go with you and sort it when you get home. Maybe Billy No Home could help with the clearing up? (Guaranteed to see him speedily leave). Or buy a £5 mat and start doing prenatal yoga in the same room...

My goodness, if having a few mates over to watch the TV every few weeks is regarded as a last fling, then that might be the most depressing thing I've ever heard.

There's no reason he cant' continue to have friends round after the baby, he just needs to (starting NOW) actually start clearing up after himself when they do.

Nah screw that. That's a child's home not a place for man baby's to doss about it

Ah so according to you bsb, life stops when you have a child. Got it.

I would set expectations - explain that on race sundays you will be somewhere else doing something you really enjoy (a treat!) and that way you are not home to make snack etc and to get irritated by everyone taking over your house. Explain a shop is arriving an hour or so after the race and they will have no option to carry it in coz you won't be there. Also don't clear up - leave the mess and when you get home have a nice relaxing bath upstairs and climb into bed with a good book. Don't be a mug and do it all for them, you are not his mum and he should not expect your to be. If you settle into doing all this stuff, he will expect it always, and when your baby is here you really won't have the time!!! Also ask yourself whether he would cook, clear up and have all your friends over on a regular basis for you? If the answer is no, why on earth do you put yourself in this situation? Put yr foot down and say no!

Sounds like you're all being unreasonable tbh. He shouldn't expect you to runaround after his friends and he should be the one to make sure there are snacks. He should clear up after them (Who actually makes adult guests clear up? They are guests.) The loiterer needs to be politely chucked out when the others go. But you sound unreasonable in your expectations of having an immaculate house and that your husband should be hanging out with you to the exclusion of having friends round.

Stop no. But a home is a home for the whole family to enjoy in private. I dont wont want to meet whoever when im going to get a cup of tea in the kitchen. Also my dad used to watch the rugby every sunday when it was on during cooking dinner and he had plenty of friends over all the time at appropriate times of the day. My mum never minded because they were always well behaved and nice people. If your life partner doesnt like someone its usually for a good reason not pettiness.