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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You're just jealous

157 replies

bibbitybobbityyhat · 26/05/2017 10:30

AIBU to think that this is a very unintelligent way to deal with someone disagreeing with you?

When I first started on Mumsnet I was on a thread about private education and I said I was opposed to the ideology. Someone came back and said "you're just jealous" and I thought what?? what the actual?? I thought this place had a reputation for smart thinking and interesting discourse.

And all these years later, it still irritates me just as profoundly. I shouldn't let it wind me up, but I wish people could be a bit more imaginative and just, well, smarter I suppose.

Do you genuinely think anyone is jealous of you?

OP posts:
SquatBetty · 26/05/2017 10:33

YANBU!!! I've always thought this too. It really does show a singular lack of imagination.

DonkeyOaty · 26/05/2017 10:35

It is strange.

I also don't really understand when someone states along lines of 'it says more about you (re a divergence of opinion)' Not explaining this one very well!

Perhaps I'm just thick.

Moussemoose · 26/05/2017 10:38

Yep - I don't like X results in "you're just jealous of X cos you want one".

Well no I don't because I just said I don't like X.

The stupidity of the comment is awe inspiring. Or am I just jealous?

Original poster
bibbitybobbityyhat · 26/05/2017 10:41

That's exactly it.

"I don't like the thought of holidaying in Dubai"

"Are you jealous cos you can't afford it?"

Er, no, even if I had a billion in the bank I doubt I'd ever set foot in Dubai.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 26/05/2017 10:41

Ah yes the famous MN jealousy accusation.

If you don't like a particular celebrity that always means you must be jealous. Hmm

MrsJayy · 26/05/2017 10:42

I remember seeing a thing on Tv about this a woman had been told by her mum other girls were just jealous of her good looks this stuck and the woman had years of issues i dont understand it either.

MrsJayy · 26/05/2017 10:43

Oh im not a vicky B fan im so jealous apparently 😕

SquatBetty · 26/05/2017 10:43

Aha! Accusations of jealousy on the first page of that massive pick up truck thread in AIBU! So, so predictable especially where people who drive big gas guzzlers are concerned!

Original poster
bibbitybobbityyhat · 26/05/2017 10:46

Please don't make it a taat!

It just reminded me today, long been a bugbear of mine.

OP posts:
LuxuryWoman2017 · 26/05/2017 10:46

School yard retort, used a lot when I was 6-16.

It['s a silly way to try to shut down any debate.

I never thought anyone would be jealous of me, but I do have a long term 'friend' who is nice as pie to my face when we were alone, but I noticed over the years as soon as we were in company the digs would begin, real jellyfish stuff. I spoke to another friend about it and she suggested frenemy was jealous of me and tried to put me down so much to cover for this. I'm not so sure, the digs don't bother me, in fact I find it hilarious because it's so predictable.

I was a very spotty, plump teenager and blossomed overnight in late teens, this friend still sees me as a spotty 13 year old who no boy would look at and would never acknowledge I wasn't still that girl, so if we ever went out and someone paid me a compliment which wasn't unusual in my early twenties, she would have to bring up some story of me at 14 when I had a terrible boil on my nose or whatever, or tell the story of something stupid I'd said or done years ago.

I rarely see her now but a brisk 'don't be silly' soon shuts her up.

Moussemoose · 26/05/2017 10:48

You're just jealous bibbitybobbityyhat made the thread first.

That says more about you than her.

LuxuryWoman2017 · 26/05/2017 10:48

Sorry, went off on a bit of a cathartic tangent there!

VolunteerAsTribute · 26/05/2017 10:49

I don't know if anyone is jealous of me, but I feel lucky in life and could see that others could be. Happily married, 2 happy and healthy children. Never have to think about money. Own our house etc. We can afford luxuries.

I do often think the "you must be jealous" with regard to the original situation though. I struggle to believe that any parents would disadvantage their children because of their ideology and that if you gave someone vouchers for a great private school education, they would be taken rather than refused.

I thought this place had a reputation for smart thinking and interesting discourse.

Well, there was your mistake! Smile

QuestionARhino · 26/05/2017 10:51

I'm on twitter a lot and a lot of minions fans rush to the aid of their favourite celebrity (who usually has questionable reasons for their fame - teen moms I'm looking at you) if they've been insulted in some way and the most common retort I see is "ignore the haters they're just jealous" Hmm

Original poster
bibbitybobbityyhat · 26/05/2017 10:53

But your mistake is thinking that children are "advantaged" by private education and that everyone agrees with that.

OP posts:
HeyHoThereYouGo657 · 26/05/2017 10:53

Bibbitybobbiy My DM would completely agree with you re Dubai .

She could have gone on her annual holiday with a friend (DD does not do flying) a few years ago but declined . She could afford it but it just does not appeal to her

ChildishGambino · 26/05/2017 10:54

YANBU - that and 'stop showing off in front of your friends'. My brother and I used both to stop the other in their tracks. It works though!

ChildishGambino · 26/05/2017 10:55

I should add that we were about ten the last time we said either!

seafoodeatit · 26/05/2017 10:56

For some I think they see their opinion or choice as the only one anyone would want to make so surely anyone disagreeing must be jealous, because they can't really not agree/also want whatever it is being argued over.

ALemonyPea · 26/05/2017 10:57

''Twas never like this a few years ago, when it was all green fields.

VolunteerAsTribute · 26/05/2017 10:59

"But your mistake is thinking that children are "advantaged" by private education"

There's a real fallacy in your logic. If they weren't advantaged then there'd be nothing to whinge about. If they are (and they are) then it comes back to jealousy or sour grapes.

BertrandRussell · 26/05/2017 10:59

Ah yes. and "politics of envy" to describe anyone who has principles. That one pisses me off too!

JigglyTuff · 26/05/2017 11:00

I think you've just proved bibbity's point beautifully Volunteer. Unfortunately even the most expensive education in the world can't impact someone's basic level of intellect

MineralWater · 26/05/2017 11:00

What I hate is the sense that you can't be a bit envious but also dislike something or disagree with someone.

I started a thread a few years ago where I said I didn't think Beyonce was all that great.

I got accused of being jealous.

I thought it was really odd and a completely different issue from what I was actually talking about.

Of course I'm envious of what Beyonce has but it doesn't mean I can't also have a negative opinion of her or her work. The opinion doesn't come from a place of jealousy/envy but, you know, my actual opinion.

Confused
CaptainBraandPants · 26/05/2017 11:01

Volunteer I have ideological difficulties around private schools. So, we decided to send our DC to state primary schools. At secondary age, we gave them a choice. The older two decided to stay with their state education, the third is only year 3, so hasn't had the choice yet.
I really am not jealous of anyone sending their DC private. Most of my colleagues do and if anything, I am a bit smug when they moan about the cost. Grin

bibbity I agree, it isn't the most sophisticated of come backs.