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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I tell him to go fuck himself?

215 replies

DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 03:17

Can't sleep, totally pissed off
Relatively new relationship, he's been away working, usually see each other on a Monday
We were messaging yesterday morning and I asked would we see each today
He said "yes we'll arrange it later have to go"
Still waiting to hear from him, it's pissed of right off, it's my day off tomorrow and could have made other plans
So aibu for feeling like this ? I have form for
Over thinking things but I would expect to confirm plans
I'll probably get a message in the morning but didn't want to chase him

OP posts:
barrygetamoveonplease · 22/05/2017 03:20

Be too busy to pick up a message. And I mean, be busy. Do something. Sitting at home ignoring his messages won't be anywhere near as good as getting out there and doing something you want to do, without him.

mylaststraw · 22/05/2017 03:23

Yabu. If you're not going to contact him and don't want to waste your day off, make plans yourself. He can always join you if he does text in the morning. I don't think a casual follow up text from you is chasing him - invite him along.

FreeNiki · 22/05/2017 03:24

Send this:
Grin

Should I tell him to go fuck himself?
iamAlexandr · 22/05/2017 03:26

Go fuck yourself seems a bit extreme to me. Can you not make plans in the morning?

Original poster
DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 03:28

Love it Niki 😀 I just felt taken for granted, like I'm sitting here waiting on him to confirm plans, can't sleep and it's growing arms and legs in my head

OP posts:
Fluffypinkpyjamas · 22/05/2017 03:28

YANBU. If he wanted to see you he would. If he couldn't , he would have messaged. He's potentially wasted your day and kept you hanging. Be busy like barry says.

Original poster
DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 03:30

Yes we could make plans in the morning, he has cancelled on a few occasions last minute which has really annoyed me, but have him the benefit of the doubt

OP posts:
Original poster
DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 03:31

Fluffy that's exactly how I feel, potentially wasted my day and kept me hanging
I think it's just rude apart from anything else

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 22/05/2017 03:33

The absolute only good answer to this is to be busy.

Busy busy busy.

Do not tell him to go fuck himself. Be cheerful and noncommital. Just don't be available.

His reaction will tell you everything about whether he is into you or not.

Original poster
DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 03:41

So what do you think his reaction should be Koala?

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 22/05/2017 03:47

He should start to panic when you are always unavailable, and step up his efforts. Several notches.

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/05/2017 03:51

Or you could not bother playing games and ditch him.

So yes, "go fuck yourself" would cover it.

Original poster
DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 03:52

This dating stuff is rubbish, I really want to see him but don't want to be at his beck and call , we're both in our forties, haven't seen him for weeks now !

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 22/05/2017 03:54

So what do you think his reaction should be

Why should you care what he thinks, honestly he isn't invested in how you think is he.

He's telling you the priority he places on the relationship, its way down the pecking order.

Ghost him and see how he likes it. And please say you're not going to spoil your alternative arrangements by inviting him along! No way, Jose, he's blown it right?

ceecee32 · 22/05/2017 03:55

I think you already have his answer there.

fiftyplustwo · 22/05/2017 03:57

OK, so you texted on the Sunday morning about making plans for Monday, and now he hasn't been heard from for something like 20 hours? How do you know that something unforeseen hasn't happened to him? Or to the phone? I agree with iamAlexandr that you might be reacting a bit too harsh, too early, without information. That said, it surely would have been better if you had heard from him yesterday evening.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/05/2017 04:07

You haven't seen him for weeks and he didn't have time to make plans to see him tomorrow. He doesn't sound very eager, does he? I agree be busy, busy, busy. He'll soon get the message that he doesn't get to treat you this way. I think this will probably put an end to the relationship myself. But the more you chase, the less attractive you will be to him so hard to get is definitely the only way to go for this one whatever the outcome.

daisychain01 · 22/05/2017 04:10

How do you know that something unforeseen hasn't happened to him?

That's a possibility.

Or else he just CBA. Probably the latter.

BandeauSally · 22/05/2017 04:10

How do you know that something unforeseen hasn't happened to him?

Grin it hasn't. It never has. He's cooling things off as the novelty has worn off.

OP agree with other, get busy. Stop keeping your Days off free for him. He's a very new dating person, you have had a life with friends and hobbies and things to do long before you knew he existed. Those things still exist. Get busy doing them. If he wants to be in your life he will make it happen.

Chloe84 · 22/05/2017 04:40

Sorry, OP, I think if it's a new relationship, and you haven't seen him for weeks, and he's leaving it till the last minute to make plans with you, then he is just not that into you,

Should I tell him to go fuck himself?
Trifleorbust · 22/05/2017 04:51

Stop wasting time with this one.

Ethylred · 22/05/2017 05:45

So you don't want to chase him but you do want to tell him to go fuck himself. And you haven't seen each other for weeks. And you're in your forties.

Keep your self-respect and get on with your life.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 22/05/2017 05:55

The quote Chloe posts sums it up nicely.

Tootsiepops · 22/05/2017 06:00

haven't seen him for weeks now

I think that tells you what you need to know Sad

Joey7t8 · 22/05/2017 06:18

he has cancelled on a few occasions last minute

He's not really into you. Sorry.