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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I tell him to go fuck himself?

215 replies

DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 03:17

Can't sleep, totally pissed off
Relatively new relationship, he's been away working, usually see each other on a Monday
We were messaging yesterday morning and I asked would we see each today
He said "yes we'll arrange it later have to go"
Still waiting to hear from him, it's pissed of right off, it's my day off tomorrow and could have made other plans
So aibu for feeling like this ? I have form for
Over thinking things but I would expect to confirm plans
I'll probably get a message in the morning but didn't want to chase him

OP posts:
pipsqueak25 · 22/05/2017 10:00

don't take this mornings text to mean much, he is probably stringing other women along too and playing games with them.
i hazard a guess your self esteem is low and that why you are hanging in there for him, but as others have said this isn't a relationship in any sense, block his number / text whatever you need to do and move on with your day. he really is no loss and in a few days, sorry if it sounds harsh, but if you don't respond, he would probably have forgotten you and moved on to the next woman on the site.

woodfornuts · 22/05/2017 10:02

If it was me I would stop contact with him. He's just not that into you. Read the book. It changed how I behaved around men.

pipsqueak25 · 22/05/2017 10:03

also meant to say don't lower yourself by telling him where to go, he's more than likely the sort of person who will laugh it off anyway and it won't make you feel any better, you need to be the better person Flowers

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/05/2017 10:04

Perhaps he's sitting there with a few women, waiting for them to message him. Or he's only available sporadically or on certain days because he's off with someone else. And when he cancels, it's possible he's off shagging someone else. And maybe the playing hard to get is all part of his fetish. We don't have the answer to these things. But he definitely isn't making an effort and you deserve far more.

ofudginghell · 22/05/2017 10:06

Just text him and ask outright if he sees things moving forward or not because your finding his lack of communication quite frustrating and think it's pretty absent minded on his part.
Sling the ball right into his court and his response or lack of will tell you want you want to know x

TheMaddHugger · 22/05/2017 10:08

(((((((Hugs))))))))

I don't care what site you are on, You still need Loves and (((((((Hugs)))))

Should I tell him to go fuck himself?
pipsqueak25 · 22/05/2017 10:19

of why encourage op to prolong the agony ? she deserves better than this person and certainly shouldn't be running after him like a clingy and needy woman.

Original poster
DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 10:30

Lol thanks for the hugs, he asked if we were meeting and I said no given that he hadn't been in touch, he's replied with "wtf, you could have messaged me"

OP posts:
lionsleepstonight · 22/05/2017 10:33

Ignore him now. If he wanted to spend the day with you he would have planned it earlier.

lionsleepstonight · 22/05/2017 10:34

He's now at a loose end and 'you'll do.
When you do meet, what do you do together? Is is days out, lunch etc or sex?

Waltermittythesequel · 22/05/2017 10:34

A fetish site is hardly where one goes for a long term relationship, in fairness to him.

He's telling you where you are on his list of priorities but if you choose not to listen, nobody here can help you!

Aren't you a bit old for this checking the phone to see if he's messaged nonsense?? Woman up and move on!

lionsleepstonight · 22/05/2017 10:41

Sorry just realised you've not had sex.
I'm not understanding what kind of fetish site it would be if it wasn't a way for like minded people to meet to enjoy a specific type of sex.
Maybe he was expecting some sex and things are cooling as it's not transpired?

RaspberryBeret34 · 22/05/2017 10:43

But you did message him, yesterday and he said he'd arrange later then didn't text to do so! Given his flakiness recently you are totally reasonable to assume it wasn't happening. Whatever his issue, I think you are best off out of it. And I wouldn't be happy with the "WTF" either.

Original poster
DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 10:49

It was him that didn't want sex initially as he said he wanted to get to know me first and for me to feel comfortable with him, he's been perfect gentleman apart from the flakiness about meeting up

I'm well aware of how teenage this all sounds but I did really like him 😦

We agreed at the start it would be a proper relationship and not just sex based, he's said he's totally fallen for me and it's gone way beyond anything physical for him
I would think I'm being played but the no sex is making me doubt myself as surely he would be trying to get into my knickers?

OP posts:
pipsqueak25 · 22/05/2017 10:49

good for you op, now move on and enjoy life without this idiot.

AyeAmarok · 22/05/2017 10:49

You're just not on the same page. Too much game playing. This is not, and will never be, a good relationship.

HJNTIY.

Recover your standards and self-respect, take some control of your life, instead of sitting passively letting him dictate the terms, and end it.

Then move on.

Bluntness100 · 22/05/2017 11:03

Was it a sub Dom thing? Is this maybe part of him being in control? I'd just text back and say as he'd not made plans uou made other ones. Tell him maybe next week then leave it to him.

SparklyMagpie · 22/05/2017 11:06

Don't reply and move on. You knew he'd blame you saying you could have text

Don't waste anymore of your time on him

SweetLuck · 22/05/2017 11:07

Too much angst, soo soon.

it's gone way beyond anything physical for him Fuck's sake, who does he think he is, Plato.

Bin him off and find someone who does want to have sex with you!

Sionella · 22/05/2017 11:09

also, this is one of the most important things I have ever read:

"when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

I could have saved myself a LOT of hassle and heartache if I had taken that advice 20 years ago!

manueltowers · 22/05/2017 11:11

it's gone way beyond anything physical for him

Oh, please!

Tell him to get to fuck.

NormaSmuff · 22/05/2017 11:12

so are you going to see him again op, as you really like him?
if so, stop stressing, go with the flow, if he is worth it he shouldnt be causing you stress about whether or not he wants to see you.

Original poster
DarrellRivers70 · 22/05/2017 11:16

I'm laughing at some of the replies , particulary the Plato one 😂
I so needed this, I tend to get carried and belive everything I'm told so a harsh does of reality is definitely required!

OP posts:
Hissy · 22/05/2017 12:06

He's wasting your time love.

also PMSL at Plato Grin

You DID ask about meeting up, and he blew you off.

you being busy today may jolt him into action... or not

This is last chance territory

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 22/05/2017 12:39

Yesterday he said he would contact you later as he had to rush off and do something. He didn't contact you and when you point that out he says you should have contacted him! Hes a nasty twat!

Forget him and go and have a nice walk in the sunshine.