Should I tell him to go fuck himself?

[DarrellRivers70]

Can't sleep, totally pissed off
Relatively new relationship, he's been away working, usually see each other on a Monday
We were messaging yesterday morning and I asked would we see each today
He said "yes we'll arrange it later have to go"
Still waiting to hear from him, it's pissed of right off, it's my day off tomorrow and could have made other plans
So aibu for feeling like this ? I have form for
Over thinking things but I would expect to confirm plans
I'll probably get a message in the morning but didn't want to chase him

OP he's just not that into you.

If he was, he'd already have arranged to see you.

Don't message him. Just let it go.

No don't message him, you are probably hoping that by doing this he will say OK I will come round, don't give him the opportunity to do that.

He is ignoring you, don't play games, just ignore him right back and do something good for yourself today.

Dump, move on, head held high.

His loss.

So he works away, you only see him every so often, and sometimes he has to cancel plans laat minute, unable to tect you back or call you?

Hes clearly married.

I feel am absolute failure, like I'm not worth making the effort for

OI! enough of that! HE is not worth the bother!

You went into this with good faith. It's not happening for whatever reason, move on, and move on quickly.

Oh fuck!! I checked whether he was on messenger and hit that stupid thumbs up thing by mistake 😯😯😯😯
He's responded instantly with "morning gorgeous" I'm furious at myself, should I just ignore

Text him "say hello to the wife"?

He's not married

He's messing you about, probably seeing someone else by the sound of it but too much of coward to admit it.

Take some power back, don't contact him, don't prioritise him if he does keep in touch. No need to play games, if you're free and fancy meeting up with him for some company, fine. Just don't take in all the hearts and flowers nonsense. My guess is just likes having the control and will disappear once he realises you aren't playing that game anymore.

Keep yourself busy and remember, being in a relationship isn't all that anyway most of the time - no harm in being single - enjoy it!

Oh, and I want to know what the ' specialist' website is!

It was a fetish website, please don't judge 😳

Ignore him. All day and all night if necessary. You did a thumbs up accidentally, fine. But don't compound it by saying something now.

Fetish site - ah. Well that's hardly a relationship site.

I think some big girl pants rubber knickers and some soul searching as to what you want from life.

No just ignore him the cheeky bastard, replying when he knows you are waiting for his text, unless emotional abuse is the fetish or this thread is part of the game.

Get off social media, stop stalking him and start planning your day.

Come on OP, it wasn't accidental. Ask yourself this: why are you willing to put up with this?

In my case, I worked out that I put up with it because i felt worthless because I was overweight. I lost weight and met a brilliant man in the end. But it can be a lot more difficult to answer that question. However, it's the best place to start.

As for him: put your phone away in a drawer and go out. Go for a drive with some cool music; go for a manicure; go for lunch; go to the gym; go shopping - whatever you fancy. Just don't take your phone.

I don't think you can expect to get a proper committed relationship from some you met on a fetish website, especially not after 4 months.

You obviously want love, and it doesn't seem like he's available enough to provide it.
I would cut your losses and move on.
You didn't even know the guy at Xmas, surely it won't be too hard to leave him in the past.

NEXT!

No this thread is not part of the game? That doesn't even make sense, why would it be?
I haven't replied
When I say fetish I don't mean way out ridiculous stuff, just a particular type of relationship, it's not even that relevant as would still expect him to be a decent human being and treat me with respect

I honestly didn't do the thumbs up thing on purpose

Just get on with your day.
You are in your forties, not your teens!

Ouch just ask him if there is a problem as you feel a little messed about. Your not in the nature of hanging about and chasing so can he just be straight with you. He maybe likes to feel chased and wanted. If you met through a fetish site then you clearly have no issues being up front do so do that. If you feel he isn't as invested as you would like him to be say do and say your no longer interested if it continues this way.

It's going to be a beautiful day OP so go somewhere and enjoy your day off. He's making zero effort and as pp have said, ypure so much better than tgat. Doesn't matter where/how you met, he's an inconsiderate dick.

OP I feel your pain - dating in your forties is v hard. You def need to play harder to get or just leave it and walk away. see if he chases you today but be on your guard. Sorry he is not worth it if you are left feeling worthless (the way you have described) keep looking for the one that makes you feel confident, happy and the centre of his universe. Good luck

I hate how easy it is to do the thumb thing on messenger! I'd just say hello back but no question or anything. Then see what he says. 99% chance he "can't make" today so he either won't mention it or will give you an excuse. Then you can text back (fine to text it after only 4 months) that it isn't working, wish him well etc. Job done. Find someone more reliable. Men can seem very into you in person but if they aren't making an effort to see you, it doesn't bode well. It's so confusing though :/.

You need to bin this guy off OP

He is keeping you on the back burner.
If he is like this now, at the beginning of your relationship, he won't get any better.
Please keep your dignity and walk away. Find yourself a nice man, who wants to be with you.