Neighbour in garden.

[Buddinghell]

More of a rant.
We live in a row of new build terraces. Tiny gardens. So everyone can see most your garden from an upstairs window and everyone can hear everything if they are in the garden. We do try and give each other a bit of privacy. Someone has friends over in the garden we don't mow the tiny patch of grass. I won't be putting my washing up if I hear next door having breakfast outside.
All except my neighbour who is outside every time I am, doing sodding "jobs". The fence is rattling as I speak as she puts on a second coat that's flicking through the fence over my plants . I've had to come in from reading my book.
The annoying bit is that she doesn't work and I do. So I can only be in the garden weekends whereas she could be do stuff all week. She was in B& Q on bank holiday Monday moaning how busy it was too, duh, do you think?
I think she feels gardening is something you do at the weekends and garden centres are for bank holidays. So AIBU in being stressed with this.

Honestly if someone breathing a few meters from you disturbs you this much maybe you're just one of those people who isn't cut out for living in close proximity to other people. It's not a bad thing: modern urban/suburban life can be stressful. I live in a huge block of flats and can hear every loo flush. It is stressful to live all on top of people. My dad was one of the people who can't handle it so he always lived very rural with no neighbours and practically like a hermit.

But is it really that proximity bothers you, or is it that her activeness makes you feel guilty, or you're upset that she's not kowtowing to your bizarre unwritten neighbourhood rules?

Maybe she is lonely and likes the company, so does her outside things at the weekend as to have a chat without being obvious?

You did ask OP... Sorry you are being somewhat flamed but agree YABU. Thought you were going to refer to late night parties or something. Perfectly normal for your neighbours to enjoy their gardens whenever they please.

I live in a similarly terraced new build and mowed the lawn today as I had 15 minutes free. Luckily my neighbours aren't bonkers

Our old neighbours were like this. They were retired and in fairness to them, they were always in their garden, weekdays and weekends. However, whenever I was outside with the kids I always felt uncomfortable that we were being too noisy (we weren't) or that the neighbours were judging our garden and judging me for not being bothered to do more than just now the lawn (they definitely were judging that). It used to drive me irrationally crazy whenever I heard them come outside while I was there. They obviously had the right to be in their garden whenever they wanted, I just wished they wanted to be in their garden whilst we were at work!

In the nicest possible way 2ducks2ducklings that is all about you and nothing to do with your neighbours.

Yes, I dare say that is more to do with me and my insecurities. But they were horrible neighbours who did actually pick at every little thing we did (except the gardening, ironically). No one else in the street liked them and they were the reason we moved. And I loved my house too!

It sounds like she lives alone. Lonely maybe ? Could be she looks forward to that bit of conversation over the fence all week. Maybe deliberately avoids shops when they are quiet because she spends most of her time alonever. I feel really sorry for her that if this is the reason for being drawn out when there's people about. Loneliness is a terrible thing.

'most of her time alone' and 'feel really sorry for her if this is the reason...' sorry on phone.

Sorry OohAhhbird x posts

Your garden isn't actually all that small, OP. And your sensitivity does seem a bit abnormal.

I don't understand why with the washing scenario you didn't just pop out with the washing, smile and say good morning to the breakfasting neighbours and then just stick the washing on the line and get on with your day.

Op said you can see in the neighbours gardens from upstairs windows, I think the fences are actually quite high which makes the washing thing even more weird.