Neighbour in garden.

[Buddinghell]

More of a rant.
We live in a row of new build terraces. Tiny gardens. So everyone can see most your garden from an upstairs window and everyone can hear everything if they are in the garden. We do try and give each other a bit of privacy. Someone has friends over in the garden we don't mow the tiny patch of grass. I won't be putting my washing up if I hear next door having breakfast outside.
All except my neighbour who is outside every time I am, doing sodding "jobs". The fence is rattling as I speak as she puts on a second coat that's flicking through the fence over my plants . I've had to come in from reading my book.
The annoying bit is that she doesn't work and I do. So I can only be in the garden weekends whereas she could be do stuff all week. She was in B& Q on bank holiday Monday moaning how busy it was too, duh, do you think?
I think she feels gardening is something you do at the weekends and garden centres are for bank holidays. So AIBU in being stressed with this.

I've got a mental image of one of those old fashioned cuckoo clocks, where the little people go in and out of the little doors

Maybe she likes to sit out in her garden during the week as none of the rest of you are about to disturb her peace?

To be honest this tacit agreement the rest of you have is stupid. Why shouldn't you enjoy your garden just because your neighbours are enjoying there's? People have been living in terraces in the UK for hundreds of years - no need to play silly buggers.

My garden sounds identical to yours, ikwym about being sensitive to neighbours. If next door are having friends over we try and keep out of the way, they do the same for us too.

However, I do think you're taking it a bit far. I wouldn't think twice about painting our fence if they were sitting in theirs or hanging out washing if they were having breakfast out there. My neighbours smoke outdoors so seem to always be out there, I'd never do anything if I waited for them to vacate their garden.

I agree that in over crowded areas a bit of consideration goes a long way but you don't have to martyr yourself either.

I think she might be a bit lonely and comes out to 'do things' in the hope of a bit of company if she doesn't work. I can understand your frustration though OP.

Christ! Not another 'thing'?

Since when can you only use your own bloody garden if the neighbours arent in theirs?

Arranging this with neighbours? Really?

Madness.

You could draw up a rota for garden usage.

Bud, it would really drive me crazy, and does ! However, like my late DF used to say, "Suck it up, Buttercup", there's nothing else you can do OP.
Put your name down, for another house.

Sounds similar to our set up. We just all use our gardens normally

5m by 8m is big! Why on earth can't you sit and read on the opposite side to your adjoining fence or closer to your back door?

I live in a snazzy purpose built block of flats and we all have a glass-enclosed balcony roughly the size of a postage stamp so are essentially sitting next to each other when we all go out in our respective balconies in summer. We just get on with it, do our own things and practice the London special of pretending we are alone.

Why is it ok for neighbours with kids to be out and noisy but an older person should sit still for your benefit?

I won't go do noisy garden stuff, until around 10am, and stop around 5.30/6, just because I know what it's like to wake up/have kids woken up by a racket.. But apart from that, game on... It's good to chat to neighbours..😊

Gosh, I thought I was bad with noise issues, but OP you are being totally unreasonable here!

In fact, next doors kids tend to be riding their quads up and down theirs, while my kids are hooning about with my old mobility scooter in ours.. But we've got big 1940s gardens..😂

Still think it would drive you lot mad too.

It really wouldn't. The lord of the manor who has parties every bloody week until 3 in the morning drives me mad. If someone moved next to me and the worst crime shd did was painting her fence whilst I was reading I'd be welcoming her with open arms.

Our garden is about that size - today we were out gardening, most people had washing out, next doors dog was chasing a ball and several others were gardening, mowing the lawn or just enjoying the sun.

It's normal for a sunny afternoon, surely?

If next door are having friends over we try and keep out of the way, they do the same for us too.

Why? it's not like you're using their garden. The only allowance I give to my neighbour is the garden path we both share.

I would suspect op, you're the only neighbour so obsessed. My garden is almost exactly same size, never been an issue.

How tall t ur fences?

Good grief! Knowing that there are people like this in the world does nothing for my anxiety.
TABTU

I hate the fact that neighbour's want to talk. I go into the garden to be quiet. Could you put up some Trellising. Hazel expanding trellis is quite cheap and easy to fix.

I kind of know where you are coming from & it's a major reason why we are moving to a detached house with a garden that's not over looked.
I grew up in the country though with no one nearby & I didn't realise how much it would deter me from using my garden - my issue I know.

The only thing that really annoys me is when we would be outside eating dinner & our retired neighbours decide to cut their grass. But different strokes for different folks.

Our fences are 4 ft & we are not allowed to raise them with any permanent fixings - it's on our deeds. If they were 6ft it would be great!

I just find it odd she has to be busy when it's obvious everyone else is chilling in theirs. My neighbours the other side make more noise/ are out a lot but that's because it's unavoidable with children. That doesn't bother me. Why can't she just relax like the rest of us.

So she takes pride in her garden and you have a problem with that?!

It's her garden, she can do as she pleases. We do whatever we want in our garden whenever we want because it's our garden. The exception is fires - if our neighbours have laundry drying in their garden in the evening then we don't light the chiminea or fire pit.

Having neighbours close by drives me nuts.
You are only being a tiny bit unreasonable.

Ours (charcoal) BBQ at every opportunity. Seriously. EVERY time it's sunny. If our back door is open all the smoke drifts into our house. It reeks.
They sit outside while the family have dinner and then when the kids go to bed they sit outside and chat drink lots of wine
This means that on sunny days/evenings if we have our back door/windows open because it's hot we get smoked out and have to endure endless prattle.
During the day we just have to put up with whiny children which is bearable. I'm skilled at tuning out whiny kids

I used to smoke outside but got passive aggressive coughs and comments about it from them.
I don't smoke very much so I savour it. Can't have an enjoyable cig in peace anymore so I go elsewhere. Ridiculous.