Neighbour in garden.

[Buddinghell]

More of a rant.
We live in a row of new build terraces. Tiny gardens. So everyone can see most your garden from an upstairs window and everyone can hear everything if they are in the garden. We do try and give each other a bit of privacy. Someone has friends over in the garden we don't mow the tiny patch of grass. I won't be putting my washing up if I hear next door having breakfast outside.
All except my neighbour who is outside every time I am, doing sodding "jobs". The fence is rattling as I speak as she puts on a second coat that's flicking through the fence over my plants . I've had to come in from reading my book.
The annoying bit is that she doesn't work and I do. So I can only be in the garden weekends whereas she could be do stuff all week. She was in B& Q on bank holiday Monday moaning how busy it was too, duh, do you think?
I think she feels gardening is something you do at the weekends and garden centres are for bank holidays. So AIBU in being stressed with this.

Perhaps Izzy is my neighbour on the other side! Cheers.

Deux The point was she was in the garden centre moaning about how busy it was. I don't mind when she goes.

It's not about being anxious or controlling. There are no "rules" but I know other people think about noise/ nuisance because how we use our gardens comes up in normal conversations.Whether it be cats coming in the garden or borrowing stuff or pruning the over growing stuff.

We have all lived here for years. I just find it odd and annoying that next door does jobs that can be done in the week at the weekend. Banging in nails, painting, using the patio steam cleaner every weekend.

No Izzy it's not consideration to avoid pegging out your laundry because the next door neighbour is in their garden. Sorry, that is disproportionate.

Absolutely bonkers! People can use their gardens whenever they want. How strange and annoying to try and operate a rota system for individual gardens!!!

Your gardening neighbour can do so whenever she wants. Whether she works or not, most people garden at weekends so why shouldn't she? Same goes for bank holidays, when there are usually offers on garden and diy stuff that won't be on the next day...

Is 5m wide big? I could fit two sun loungers end to end between the two fences ( if I didn't have edging).

I have a yard that is less than 2m wide - if I stand in the middle I can touch both walls easily, so yes, it's big relatively speaking.

Especially considering that despite the width/length of your garden, you are still feel like you are "over the shoulder" of whatever neighbour is also using their garden. If it's that bad, you have a lot of space to play with - why not move your washing line to the other end of the garden and that way you won't be disturbing the neighbours having breakfast, as you hang out your pants to dry?

I regularly do stuff in my yard - tend the pot plants/hanging baskets, hang out washing, sort the recycling, put out the rubbish, sit out at my little table with a book etc - and despite the fact my neighbours are never more than about a meter away, over a 5 ft wall, if they are also out using their yard, I never feel like we are over each other's shoulders.

Honestly, you seem a bit obsessed with how uour neighbour lives her life. She can do as she pleases with her weekdays and weekends, she really doesn't need to follow your rules on what is best in terms if timings for her activities.. Maybe she's doing other shit during the week. It's her call.

Honestly a bizzare thread.

I totally understand what you're saying OP.

Sometimes you'll have a good group of neighbours who just 'get' it unfortunately there could be one who doesn't.

Quite often tacit acknowledgment is what paves the way for good relations. No one needs to say anything. I can seen how in a setup as you describe that consideration for others is key.

Perhaps try looking at it in terms of at least she's the only one who is like this, and see if there are any other means you could create privacy from view (if not from sounds).

Her circumstances - or yours- may change so hang in there.

Yes it is considerate to delay pegging it out for a short while when you're aware your neighbors are eating out there and having a chat.

Francis, OP isn't out in her garden yelling to all and sundry- that would be inconsiderate- she's just having a rant !

No OP I'm not you're neighbor but I'd be happy if I were.

Yes it is considerate to delay pegging it out for a short while when you're aware your neighbors are eating out there

Well yes, if they are sitting under the clothes line.

melj You've just described what most of us do. She just takes it to another level every weekend.
I have organised my garden as best I can and all our gardens are very different and well cared for. So we are all out in them. It would just be nice to know that I could sit out with without knowing she was there the entire weekend banging and scraping. Which I will do as soon as my headphones arrive!

She's clearly an ardent gardener, so why do you think she's doing this "odd" thing of only gardening at the weekend? If she's that keen on her garden and doesn't work doesn't it make more sense that she's also out in her garden at times you don't know about?

And changing it to complain about noisy DIY is a little bit of a dripfeed since you earlier said it was nothing to do with noise and just her physical presence next door that bothered you.

No it's not the noise because as I said you can hear people breath.She isn't offensively noisy it's just wearing being next to fence that is wobbling or having nails banged in or you can hear her less than a few minutes away planting things.
It is a indeed rant about a neighbour being conspicuously outside and " busy" all weekend. When actually she has a choice about when to do it.

Anyway thanks for the comments. I'm fine, she's fine and we are all in our gardens enjoying the sun now ( although I can see from my back door that she is still attaching something to the fence).

So when do the people who work all week do their yard work/diy in your neighbourhood? Do they all have handymen and gardeners to do it for them so they can dedicate the entire weekend to chilling and relaxing? Not a single other person does painting or mowing or trimming or planting at weekends except this one neighbour? Or they do but it's ok for them to disturb your peace because they work? Get over yourself. Maybe your neighbour uses the midweek times when there's no one around to do her chilling and relaxing and does her yard work at a time when it's likely lots of other people are doing it too. It's very smart of her to do this if that's her reasoning and exactly what I would do too.

This is one of the oddest threads I have ever read!

Why is neighbour not allowed to use her garden at weekends? For all you know she is out there all day every day.

Coming in from hanging out your washing because your neighbour is in their garden is utterly bizarre.

you can hear her less than a few minutes away planting things.

This is just a ridiculous thing to complain about! How loud is her planting that it actively disturbs you 5m away?! I have pot plants and hanging baskets that I regularly potter about with and it is hardly a loud activity, even taking into account the rustling of the compost bags ...

You're coming across as seriously petty now, grow up and act like an adult and let the other adults use their gardens however they like.

Botanic
Really her neighbour is 'one of those people who don't get what being a good neighbour is' ?

She is gardening in her own garden, painting her own fence what part of that is un-neighbourly?
OP doesn't get to tell her neighbours when she can go into her own garden jus5 because she wants to sit in her garden. What gives her the right to tell others she is entitled to complete privacy and silence and everyone else can stay inside until she says so?

it's not the noise because as I said you can hear people breath.

So why then, in the very next sentence are you complaining about the noise she makes? Also considering the fact your garden is 5m wide, either she's a very heavy breather or you're sitting right next to the fence she's working on, because I can be sitting in my yard and my neighbour in theirs 2ft away and whilst I hear ambient noise from them, perhaps to the point of pages turning in their book if it's a particularly quiet and still day, I can honestly say I have never "heard the neighbours breathing" unless they're mid DIY or carrying heavy stuff around when you can hear panting and wheezing as soon as you come outside

I am now sitting in my yard, I can hear the dog down the road, the baby from 5 doors down screaming, cars driving past, someone doing some DIY somewhere in the area, doors slamming, someone somewhere playing music ... what I can't hear is my neighbours breathing.

You are bat shit crazy OP ! People use their gardens when they like . You need a Taller fence

although I can see from my back door that she is still attaching something to the fence

The evil evil bitch

buddinghell did I read that correctly you are moaning that she is planting and doing stuff at the weekends ? Yes she does have a choice when to do these things as do you. You could choose to do stuff in your garden at evenings or choose to take a day of mid week to do things in your garden.
Just because she doesn't work doesn't mean she's sitting in the house all week. She might be volounteering or visiting friends which might only leave her weekends free to do gardening jobs.

As I said before it's none of your business when she chooses to do things in her own garden.

Don't understand how pegging out washing would disturb your neighbour.

Willow my sentence was a bit clumsy, I didn't mean that the OPs neighbour wasn't a good neighbour, certainly what she is doing in her garden sounds harmless. What I meant is given the layout and proximity of gardens, lack of privacy etc that some people will intuitively understand to hang back before doing something, and some won't. (e.g. the neighbour).

Reading more, it seems like the neighbour is a keen garden and just one of those people who prefers to be outdoors rather than inside when she can - which is of course, fine. But I can see what OP was getting at too.