Neighbour in garden.

[Buddinghell]

More of a rant.
We live in a row of new build terraces. Tiny gardens. So everyone can see most your garden from an upstairs window and everyone can hear everything if they are in the garden. We do try and give each other a bit of privacy. Someone has friends over in the garden we don't mow the tiny patch of grass. I won't be putting my washing up if I hear next door having breakfast outside.
All except my neighbour who is outside every time I am, doing sodding "jobs". The fence is rattling as I speak as she puts on a second coat that's flicking through the fence over my plants . I've had to come in from reading my book.
The annoying bit is that she doesn't work and I do. So I can only be in the garden weekends whereas she could be do stuff all week. She was in B& Q on bank holiday Monday moaning how busy it was too, duh, do you think?
I think she feels gardening is something you do at the weekends and garden centres are for bank holidays. So AIBU in being stressed with this.

You bought a house with a garden too small to suit your sensibilities. That is your problem to deal with, not your neighbours.

How on earth do you think people have managed to live side by side for years with overlooking gardens?

It's part of life doesn't matter how high your fence is you can still hear them and it's no reason to stay indoors until it's your 'turn' to go out into your garden . Bloody hell a relative of mine has lived in The same street for 65 years. Her neighbours moved in around the same time they were all young families and are still all best friends. Nobody cares if next door is in the garden they don't sit indoors if the washing needs putting out or they want to sunbathe or do the garden why should they?

Why have a garden if you aren't allowed to use it? Are you sure you have an "agreement" or are you just expecting silence and privacy every time you go out so think they want the same?

user the OP said upthread she hasn't bought the house. She's HA. Her neighbour did.

User Ok well I guess by page 5 no one reads the thread.

Right IABU ( for those of you that can't be bothered to read the other two times and said it) and thanks for the sensible suggestions. I shall be buying headphones. Goodnight all.

Bought, chose, rented, moved into. All the same point. No-one forced her to live there.

budding you have been getting a bit of a pasting on here so I don't need to tell you that you are being very unreasonable.

I will point out how difficult you may be to live next to.
About half the people on those 'Neighbour from Hell' programmes see themselves and the decent, right thinking and injured party.
They think they are being invited on the programme to tell the world about their awful neighbours.
What they don't realise is that they are the ones who are causing the problems with all of their rules and regulations. The 'awful' neighbours they are complaining about are poor bastards just trying to live their lives.

It's just odd she uses the weekend to do all the garden jobs when she has all week. Willow. Again,

You're actually suggesting she should follow your timetable rather than her own? WTF is up with that?
Gardening in your own garden on the weekend is not unusual behaviour.

I'm baffled by the avoiding disturbing people by not hanging out the washing. How much noise does pegging out damp clothes make?

OP,

Easy solution:

Invite me round to sunbathe, bikini-clad, in your garden: can 100% guarantee all your neighbours would flee inside, cower behind pulled blinds, never again to risk glancing upon yours within daylight hours...

Storm,

"I am imagining Pauline from number 6 attempting to put her washing out then cringing with embarrassment as she realises that she has encroached on Keith from number 8's yoga and rushing back in red faced."

OP,

"Why can't she just relax like the rest of us?"

Might it be that you (subconsciously?) feel almost guilt-tripped by her constant action, thus slightly resentful/ a bit 'judged', when you're wanting proper r&r?

I find it far more difficult to switch off when everyone around me is a hive of activity...reminds me of what I probably should be getting on with, no matter how well-deserved/ hard-fought-for my downtime might be?

Communal garden between 6 flats here: some of our flats literally the other side of a glass window to lawn area...summer days can be tricky, but we all manage to respect each other's pretence of space/ try to ignore private conversations unless juicy

^^ And, yes, echo suggestions upthread re good noise-cancelling headphones. They do give you an illusion of privacy, at least.

You sound obsessed by what your neighbours are doing and seem to know a lot about them. Just go in your garden when you want. I would never not going my garden just because my neighbours were in theres. If you are that close I would get some really annoying wind chimes because they help to block out some sound. Bamboo is really good for privacy and blocking out sound too.

Lol omg really?? For a while mine and my neighbours gardens had no fencing to cut them off from one another, but did that stop us talking/seeing each other?? No! Unless you are severely allergic to other human beings, why not make a little conversation? You sound very strange to want to isolate yourself like this, Maybe she is lonely, and is coming out to speak to you, you'll soon know if you actually spoke! I really don't get why people avoid their neighbours (unless they are horrible!) but a bit of paint on your plants is an accident, throw some water over them they'll be fine!

And make the world a nicer place and say hello! :-)

they can hear me pegging out

I think that's a good thing. Generally it's the smell that alerts the neighbours to someone who's pegged out

It's just odd she uses the weekend to do all the garden jobs when she has all week. Willow. Again,

Buddinghell it really isn't odd that she chooses the weekend to do it. As I pointed out upthread, the DCs Dad did the gardens for me today as it's the only day he could do it. He was working for both bank holidays because the NHS kinda needs him and his colleagues to as well as everyone else.

Headphones will be best I think. A lady painting her fence at the weekend wouldn't bother me at all.

I hope she builds a big wicker man just to piss you off. Maybe that's what's assembling against your fence.

Or, god forbid OP, you end up IN the wicker man .

Seriously though what she does in her garden has nothing much to do with you , just as what you do in yours is not her concern either . long as all is legal and normal .

I don't get why you are so bothered about what she does in her garden. And why wouldn't you put washing out just cos the neighbours are having breakfast in their garden. That's just odd and I just find it strange that you actively avoid doing stuff in your own gardens in case you upset each other. As lasttimeround says it sound exhausting.

Haha, do you really postpone pegging out your washing because it is too noisy??

Sorry couldn't resist a last post as I'm on the "Trending" section.

Away but you've just said he did it at the weekend because he was working. She doesn't work, volunteer or anything else. I know this because ( for all the latecomers) we get on and talk most days.

It's not that she is unpleasant. She just spends all weekend doing stuff outside. Perhaps as she is the only neighbour that doesn't work she feels the need to look busy. Anyway who knows. Off to find headphones.

I know what you mean. I also think the same about people who don't work who go shopping on a Saturday when they have all week!

FFS - it's not that's it noisy! It's that it puts me a metre away from people enjoying eating their breakfast outside. I think they might like to eat and chat without me being literally over their shoulder.
Please read through if you comment because I'm really going now.

OP. I'm sorry but you sound miserable. I think you need a bigger house with a bit walled garden!