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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say those who find Baby Showers ridiculous are moaning moos?

162 replies

GibraltarRocks · 23/04/2017 20:50

By finding them ridiculous I mean finding them grabby/tacky.

P. S, if you don't like them because you're not for celebrating a baby arrival before they're safely delivered, that's different and not unreasonable at all.

The ones that invite everyone they can think of that'd go is very offish in my opinion, as with those who plan them themselves or add gift lists!

However, I think a lovely little baby shower with close friends/family, planned by someone else, is lovely and often quite fun Smile I love celebrating someone's baby excitement!

A friend of mine had one after lots of infertility years. It was wonderful.

I hope someone does one for me Sad Looking at you Mum Envy

OP posts:
HerBluebiro · 23/04/2017 20:54

I had one with my oldest dearest friends. Just small about 6 of us. Not the big gatherings of extended friends/family. And it was just another excuse for a party/gathering as we do every couple of months anyway. As a group we have been lucky enough to do one every year for past few years.

They are whatever you make them. They can be grabby or tacky. They can be lovely. Same as any party

Original poster
GibraltarRocks · 23/04/2017 20:55

Her I love an excuse for a party Grin

OP posts:
CaoNiMartacus · 23/04/2017 20:55

It's not the actual thing that annoys me. It's just the fact that it's become a "thing", and thus a vehicle for the rampant consumerism that's rammed down our throats these days.

LivininaBox · 23/04/2017 20:57

Well you're entitled to your opinion but I fucking hate them. I dread being invited to one. I think they are grabby in the extreme.
I would feel very uncomfortable at one, and there isn't even the option of getting pissed to get through it

NoLotteryWinYet · 23/04/2017 20:58

It's a lovely idea - the only thing I don't like is it's not part of British tradition, it's American. Other than that, if you find it grabby you don't have to contribute but even in the U.K., people always buy presents for the new baby. I like gift lists personally as you can be sure you're not wasting money on something not wanted.

Mum2jenny · 23/04/2017 20:59

I'm not a fan of them. Personally I do think they are 'grabby'

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2017 20:59

I think they're entitled to dislike them without being labelled 'moaning moos' Grin

And they may as well be organised by the pregnant woman herself, because there's nearly always an expectation that their best friend or family member will arrange one for them, just so they don't look 'grabby' by organising it themselves.

Crisscrosscranky · 23/04/2017 21:02

I don't like them so I won't be having one but I'm not bothered if other people have them. I feel the same way about engagement parties.

PetalMettle · 23/04/2017 21:03

I'm a bit Hmm about them as I was utterly panicked all through my pg and can't remotely imagine having one. However I don't disapprove of other people doing so and they can be fun.
The shitty nappy game is gross though

catsarenice · 23/04/2017 21:03

If you give a present at the baby shower is it also expected to give one once the baby is born? I've only been to one and I did buy 2 gifts but wasn't sure whether to or not but didn't seem right not buying something once baby arrived.

BabyHamster · 23/04/2017 21:06

I've been to a couple and really enjoyed them! I've never heard anyone moan about them in real life either, I think it's a MN thing.

Mind you the ones I went to were very low key and didn't have fancy gift lists or nappy games or anything silly like that!

MommaGee · 23/04/2017 21:06

My sister planned mine for 37 weeks.

Baby came at 35.

In hospital for 12 weeks

Totally missed it.

Still bitter still threw her one though! They're just nice good fub

Leeds2 · 23/04/2017 21:07

Loathe them with a vengeance! I would never go to one (funnily enough, I have never been invited!) but I would make an exception if my DD was to have one.

HerBluebiro · 23/04/2017 21:08

Livinina we definitely got merry at ours. Not the pregnant one and breast feeding ones were cautious in intake but there were light cocktails fizz and gin, which sounds a lot for 6 or 5 or 4 in retrospect

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/04/2017 21:09

I think it's part of a wider issue. Engagement presents, expensive stag and hens, wedding presents and weddings abroad, huge birthday and trips away for 'boys' and 'girls' holidays. Showers, christenings, godparent stuff, kids birthdays, parties, party bags...

Particularly if your friends are doing a bit better than you, it can be rough.

titsbumfannythelot · 23/04/2017 21:10

I think they are grabby too. I would never dream of buying a gift until baby arrived safely either.

Original poster
GibraltarRocks · 23/04/2017 21:16

Yes yes to the shitty nappy game - Utterly gross!

It's interesting to read some people like gift lists as they know they wouldn't be buying anything unwanted. However, this is the reason I buy vouchers instead.

I didn't have an engagement party - I don't really understand them. Nothing is finalised. You're just engaged. Where as if baby is born safely or not, it's still a baby and always will be.

Cannot stand coupled getting each others names tattooed either but that's a separate issue entirely!

OP posts:
Original poster
GibraltarRocks · 23/04/2017 21:17

*couples

OP posts:
sonyaya · 23/04/2017 21:18

I go to them with a gift and am supportive of my friends if they invite me to one but an event where the sole purpose is to give gifts is not something I am fond of.

NotStoppedAllDay · 23/04/2017 21:19

So you have your own opinion

Good

Mine is they are grabby and yes, tacky! I'm not s 'moany moo' though. It's just what I think

Reow · 23/04/2017 21:19

They make me cringe. I find them both grabby and tacky.

But people who like them are of course welcome to them.

Stupid thread.

d270r0 · 23/04/2017 21:20

'Moaning moos'? Seriously?

SpreadYourHappiness · 23/04/2017 21:20

I've never been to one, but I love the idea of one! Love a good party Grin

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 23/04/2017 21:21

I've been to one and actually really enjoyed it ( I suprised myself) although I didn't want one myself with my first or now with my second. I much prefer to give and receive baby gifts once they have safely arrived. Also not a fan of imported American customs.

228agreenend · 23/04/2017 21:22

I think,it is grabby when the mother expects a present at the Baby Shower, and then also after the birth.

In the not to distance past, people wouldn't buy anything for the baby, until,it was born ( or at least would only buy a few basics). People,would ordered it all at John Lewis, or wherever, and then it delivered after the baby was born.