To ask what earnings you would recommend for this lifestyle?

[Howmuch3]

Hello everyone,

I have namechanged as I am writing this with relatives here and don't want my usual name known.

We are currently on holiday with not much to do at this hour, so have been discussing about how expensive life seems to be becoming and it led to a conversation about earnings before children.

Long story short, I want to ask you ; how much do you think a couple in the South East should be earning before they have 2 children?

The lifestyle said couple would want for their family is ;
2 foreign holidays a year (1 big - e.g Mexico and 1 small - e.g Cyprus)
2 cars
4 bed house (average price is £300k )
Childcare for 2 kids
Activities/school trips for kids
Disposable income for the parents
Savings

If you have this sort of lifestyle(or better !) or know those who do, please let me know what you recommend. Also, would you delay having kids to reach that figure? Financial security for myself and my kids is very important.

Thank you

At a rough guess I would say a combined salary of around £120k...

And no, i wouldn't delay having kids until i got to that point - what if it never happened - or took so long that by the time I reached that point I wasn't able to - or it was less likely i would be able to - conceive?

Financial security is possible - it sounds like you just need to manage your own expectations

150k

Bear in mind careers progress over time and childcare costs or loss of earnings due to one parent SAH will also change over time. So at birth of DC1 you might not have this lifestyle but at time of DC2 entering secondary school you might.

Actually I think Blondies figure of £120k is more realistic

I'd second not waiting until you reach 120K.

It depends which part of the S.E though? I'm guessing you aren't including London?

4 bed for 300k is unrealistic in the SE. You're looking more at 450-500k as a minimum.

To achieve the house + lifestyle + childcare confortably, you would need a combined income of 150-200k pa

We do all of those things (except the big holiday and childcare; but we do own a holiday home in Spain, so have about four to six trips a year). I've been a SAHM for 12 years and DH earns between £50K - £60K a year.

In answer to your question, no I wouldn't wait. Financial security develops and changes over time. Our situation is very different now to what it was when our first child was born. Plus your priorities change in terms of the "lifestyle" you want.

2 holidays £10kpa
2 cars £10kpa
£300k mortgage £18k
Childcare for 2 kids £12k
Other bills etc £24k
Total £74k
at 40% tax, £123k

Are you educating state or private?

Piece of string. How much savings, how much disposable income, where in the SE (you simply wouldn't get a 4 bed for £300k here, at all, but you would easily a couple of miles away) etc.

I'd trade the 2 foreign holidays and most of the childcare costs for having one parent drop to PT and able to pick DC up from school most days though. If you are working all hours doing a job you hate to fund childcare and 2 or 3 weeks' posh holidays a year, that's not a great lifestyle.

I had estimated £110k son i guess not too far off from the £150k. Relatives believe it can be achieved on a joint income of £60-£80k. This doesn't include London.

About managing expectations. This is why I'm thinking ahead now because I don't know if I/we want to 'settle'. I know how that reads but I have to be honest right now as this is important. We have a certain standard we want for our kids (while they are young, not when they are about to leave for university) and we are considering whether we would risk not having them in order to have such a lifestyle.

We thought of going up North when the time was right but we both have family in the SE and we realised the earnings are less up North but cost of living is not that much different !

I'd also like to know where in the SE you can buy a 4 bed for £300k?

I'm about to buy a 2 bed flat for 300k in Sussex, you're going to struggle getting a 4 bed house at that price in the south east.

Agree with everyone else £120k at least for that lifestyle, not even considering pension or student loan repayments. Priorities will change over time, but it's important to remember life is short & money can't buy everything. As long as you can pay for the roof over your head, the bills & food everything else is a bonus

Educating state

Thankyou carol , those numbers help to visualise it all

Eine neither of us would want to leave our jobs as we would not be able to return or progress as quickly as if we hadn't. These are jobs we love.

In terms of house prices. You are right about £300k being low for a 4 bed. I averaged it considering ; 3 bed or moving North.

I think things are very different outside of the SE. I have family outside of the SE and they seem to have a better lifestyle, on less money. The commutes they do seem to be far more reasonable for a start. However, I think the big difference is in housing costs. I'm also wondering where you find a house for 4 for 300K.

We probably have enough for that lifestyle on much less than the above guesses, except the £300k four bed is actually closer to £400k two bed, and we don't bother with holidays while the kids are young so save a lot instead. However we have a small mortgage, the size of the deposit makes a huge difference - friends who bought a similar cost home paid more than double every month for their mortgage, leaving us £500 plus more in disposable income every month.

I'm reconciled to the idea that my dc will move a long way out of London, possibly out of the SE. I think if your job would let you do it, it would be worth moving away from family.

With a state education we could manage all the above, comfortably on £150k. That's with a 4 bed in SE London worth well in excess of £300k, but a mortgage of £165k.

Definitely around £120k, especially for young children and full-time childcare. More if you want private education when they go to school. Absolutely no chance on £60-£80k. You can live on that but not with that lifestyle.

Also want to know where £300k will get a 4 bed.

Get out of the south east if you can! We did, and we've never looked back. Salaries are lower, but so are the costs. We're much better off now and have a much better work-life balance.

Please disregard the house price , it seems to be distracting people . Let's just stick with "4 bed house".

Ah so I shall stick with joint of £120k minimum and hope we get there before 'it's too late'.

Yes, we could do our jobs anywhere else in the country so we could leave the SE if we had to. It's just that bog of our jobs pay double in the SE than they do in the North, yet the cost of living (from relatives and friends who are there) is not half the cost of the SE. I hope that makes sense?

My fear is having kids and not being able to give them the life I want to BUT then waiting too long and not having them at all.

I'd ditch (some elements of) the lifestyle and have the children, to be honest. They're nicer than two holidays a year.

"how expensive life seems to be becoming" is not accurate.

"how much money you can spend if you've got it" is what you mean.

There are plenty of people who will spend all the money they have (and more) no matter how much it is.

And plenty of other people who will get by, living decent lives with far less.

Mr Micawber was right.