To ask what earnings you would recommend for this lifestyle?

[Howmuch3]

Hello everyone,

I have namechanged as I am writing this with relatives here and don't want my usual name known.

We are currently on holiday with not much to do at this hour, so have been discussing about how expensive life seems to be becoming and it led to a conversation about earnings before children.

Long story short, I want to ask you ; how much do you think a couple in the South East should be earning before they have 2 children?

The lifestyle said couple would want for their family is ;
2 foreign holidays a year (1 big - e.g Mexico and 1 small - e.g Cyprus)
2 cars
4 bed house (average price is £300k )
Childcare for 2 kids
Activities/school trips for kids
Disposable income for the parents
Savings

If you have this sort of lifestyle(or better !) or know those who do, please let me know what you recommend. Also, would you delay having kids to reach that figure? Financial security for myself and my kids is very important.

Thank you

Two nursery places at the same assumes that children are less than 3 years apart.
It is also possible to have two dcs but further apart to ease the cost of childcare off. Something that lots of people have to do.

So in conclusion I think I'd need quite a lot more money to do everything on your list.

We have two holidays plus weekend breaks with the kids and they are great. Mexico however would not be. Your lifestyle does change with kt17 Ds we did Cuba, Costa Rica etc before kids we are currently packing from a weekend away in Butlins. Kids holidays are different.

Without childcare and having bought in Surrey London borders when a semi detached was 350 we earn 80k and manage that. Childcare would have needed an extra 15k (grandparents)

It's impossible to say.

We live in London with three kids. Our house is worth £2 million but our mortgage is low considering, it's about £300,00.

Between us we earn £100k.

We manage one two week family holiday a year usually in Italy or Greece, one skiing holiday for a week and a couple of weekends camping. We have a live in au pair for childcare and can afford nice nights out. The kids all do activities after school which cost quite a lot but they are state educated so we save on that. We don't run a car as we live so close to Tube and bus, we hire cars if going away. I spend v little on clothes and make up etc but we eat good food. We don't have the latest gadgets but I don't feel we miss out on much.

So I don't think you need £120k for two kids. In our circumstances £100k is ample for 3.

Oh shit. I read the thread title as 'What earrings you would recommend....'

I agree with some of the pp's that if you plan carefully you can live a lifestyle you want.

DC age 2.
We have a mortgage on a doer-upper of £2000 per month.
3 cars (all second hand)- one each plus one beaten up beauty for doing up the house, saving on delivery costs.
Our last holiday abroad was 5 years ago.

We spend money on the house as we earn it and do everything ourselves. No "savings" as such. We are strict with money but don't live a totally frugal lifestyle.

I don't understand where all this £150kpa stuff comes from.

Between us we earn £75kpa.

You can kind of tot it up, can't you...

2 foreign holidays a year (1 big - e.g Mexico and 1 small - e.g Cyprus) £6,000
2 cars
£6,000
4 bed house (average price is £300k )
£18,000
Childcare for 2 kids
£18,000
Activities/school trips for kids
£2,000
Disposable income for the parents
£12,000?
Savings
?

£62k, excluding utilities and food, after tax, so £70k net.

If you're both bringing home £3,000 a month, that should cover it - about £110k

To be honest, and it may be just me, but for most young couples I think realistically this is unachievable and the exception rather than the rule. I don't wonder there are so many people with such massive debts when this standard of living is something they feel they are almost entitled to. I am not suggesting this of the OP at all, just that if you have children expectations have to be realistic.

We easily have this standard of living now, but we are 50, it has taken us many many years of hard graft and expensive childcare to get to this point and get to £150k.

Never in our wildest dreams when we had two small children would this have been a possibility.

North here BTW, and £60-£80k wouldn't cut it where I live either.

We would earn £90,000 if I was full time again but we decided we would manage with me staying at home rather than pay nursery fees which are high. We have a 3/4 bedroom house (£370,000) in the south east and a family car. We used to go on big holidays but have realised that toddlers are not keen on flights and heat and much prefer Dorset or Devon or anywhere with space to run about and a pool to swim in. I hope to return to work full time I the future to pay for school fees.

People often assume that having children will be easy but I've found more and more of our friends are finding it difficult. Until you start trying you don't know how it will be and therefore it's more of a risk to put off trying if you want children than it is to see if you'll be able to afford two holidays a year.

Some people do proper foreign holidays with young kids. We do (and have done since they were tiny). It's all about what you want but we've done one 'exotic' holiday a year since they were born. I agree it's not the same (and a hell of a lot harder) but worth it for us. We find ourselves doing more planned holidays i.e. we're much more likely to get a tour agency to take us round all the sites rather than relying on DIYing it which we would have done pre-kids. The trip to Nepal with a 3 month old and an 18 month old nearly broke us though but I suspect a trip to Spain would have had the same effect at the same stage!

The thing you'll want to keep down with small kids is the flight time - I wouldn't see the point of an all inclusive in Mexico over anywhere closer with similarly guaranteed sun. We also travel a lot more slowly - we can do roughly a tenth of the things in a day that we used to be able to. I echo the sitting drinking wine in hotel bathrooms though - I remember lying in a corridor at one point!

OohNoDooEy

I think your estimates for the holidays, especially when they are limited to school holiday times, and food/utilities are way under, probably also for the cars, especially if they are wanting new ones on finance.

You have nothing for house/garden maintenance/decoration/furnishing and the £500 per adult per month will probably be light if they're expecting to be able to eat out frequently including coffees and lunches, clothes, beauty treatments, phones and other tech etc.

There have been threads on here where many women are spending £200 pm+ on 'essential' hair/make up/waxing/nails/treatments with clothing on top and a similar amount on coffees and lunches.

A 'have everything' lifestyle with no compromise at all is very expensive and affordable to almost nobody.

Morning, I'm going to read through the responses now but signal is iffy where I am.

Thankyou for the replies

4 bed house for 300k are you joking! I'm in south east and realistically a four bed house in a cheaper area is a million.

I don't really understand why you're focussing so much on the money side of it.

There are always ways to save.
Cheap and chearful holidays in the UK for example. Day trips out one summer instead of one main holiday etc.

Unless you're both unemployed and don't see that changing any time soon, if suggest not waiting until you both earn £120 jointly.
Use your heart.

Yes, you do have to consider things like clothes and food and future education for your children but if you're careful and plan your expenditure, you can easily have a lovely life on a salary of a lot less than £120.

In the stressful, fast paced world we live in, once you have a baby, you'll see how much more important emotional wealth is for our children, than monetary wealth.

Example of 4 bed in Chelmsford.....
Brockenhurst Way, Chelmsford, CM3
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-47246322.html

£340K

Verbena37 I agree, I live in the south east too and lots of houses in similar budget.

We are not far off what you're looking for, except the big holiday. We're a bit crap with money, and could save more. We can basically afford what we need, are not scared of things like washing machine or car breaking down etc. We eat out if we fancy it, and don't often have to tighten our belts close to the end of the month. I have two kids in nursery three days a week, childcare is roughly £1000 per month. When they're out of pricey childcare we'll be able to do more in the way of holidays. We're in a 3 bed house just outside Tunbridge wells that is worth about £350k, our mortgage is £200. Our joint income is £70k

Nazareth Close, Bexhill-On-Sea
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-58965040.html

How old are you and your DH? That's the most important question. If over 30 I'd start trying for a baby, if twenties I'd build up a bit more but not hold out for £120k.

I could spend days on Rightmove finding homes for less than £400 in the south east....you just had to readjust your expectations.

At the end of the day, nothing becomes more important than your little family.

We have a £1200.holiday once a year normally but if things were tight, we wouldn't bother. A baby isn't going to even understand what a holiday is until they're about 4 or 5 anyway...and certainly won't miss going away at that age. There are tons of lovely free things to do with kids, cheaper places to buy clothes and shoes, money saving meal ideas etc.

1. My partner and I are young but both have careers which could enables us to individually earn £100k+ if we chose to go down that route. We don't want to be complete slaves to our jobs and so want to reach a certain target joint therefore putting less pressure on us individually and hopefully allowing us to have better work/life balance.

1. House deposit will be taken care before these things are considered. What that salary would need to count for is 'savings' incase someone loses or their job or life happens

1. Sounds like holidays and young children don't mix ! I've travelled with young kids but they weren't mine so I guess it's different

1. Childcare estimates are quite close enough as we will have family support aswell. Obviously prices may go up etc but these are just estimates we had (admittedly we had had a couple of glasses !)

1. User - are you in the Southeast ?

1. PatSa, Thankyou for your post - We hadn't considered that aspect to be honest !

1. No, we are not ready to have kids now. We are both at the start of our careers and will be planning. Just talking about whether you wait till you are fine (which I think we are now) or wait till you are comfortable because kids do stop/reduce your earning potential.

I hope I've answered all the questions. We started this thread after a general discussion with family, but these responses are really interesting and it's good for thought !

Beaderbird We don't have car payments they're were bough cash and are about 5 years old. We don't have any loans or credit card debts so no payments there either.

We do have a fairly hefty mortgage though and there have been times over the years we have dropped to interest only payments such as when the recession hit and DH's work was slow.

We've done our fair share of Cornwall, Wales, Butlin's holidays when the kids were small rather than going abroad. We do prioritise doing things with the kids, eating out, after school activities over things like new cars, kitchens and stuff. Parts of our house are in desperate need of a face lift but would rather fund our holiday home and get away in the sun than admire a new bathroom!

I feel very fortunate, I think we have a nice lifestyle but maybe the OP would look at my 20 year old bathroom and kitchen and shudder at the thought of raising children in such standards

Just talking about whether you wait till you are fine (which I think we are now) or wait till you are comfortable because kids do stop/reduce your earning potential
You wait till you're ready and a long as that's housed and able to provide for them, then you try. You never know hoeveaay or hard it will be to concieve until you try.

My friend has just gone to the Maldives with her 2 yo, they've done lots of posh exotic beach holidays with her as well s visiting family in Italy. Mine gets Wales. At 2 there's no discernible difference in their happiness or development based on where they cried cos and got in their nappy, where they took their first splash in the sea, whether their balcony overlooks the turtles or the local teenagers outside Spar

Holy shit! This thread is an eyeopener. People really plan this sort of stuff? My life has been a random set of accidents (which includes DS1 because I never really wanted children) and it's actually turned out quite well.
Wow, just wow! You need a spreadsheet OP!

OP i think it's really good that you are thinking seriously and planning for the future.

Lots of good advice above, but mine would be to maximise your earning potential now and save as much as you can, whilst you can. I don't mean live on bread and water and never go out, but you may never have such a good opportunity to establish financial security for yourselves and any future children as you do now. When you see that positive line, it's too late!

Having savings, means having choices - about how soon you need to return to work after maternity leave; where you want to live etc.

I echo what others say, the expensive holidays are the easy win both now and after kids.Some of our best holidays were in Cornwall when DS was little. Also cars are not a turn on for me. So long as it's comfortable and reliable, that's OK and can be another easy money saver.

But there are no right or wrong answers here, its just about making the informed choices that are right for you.