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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your bizarre labour memories/flashbacks

234 replies

MrsA2015 · 21/03/2017 21:57

One of mine was being on all fours and fed an M&S Mexican 3 bean wrap, which I promptly threw up leaving the poor student midwife to clear up. Oh and asking for jellied eels (I've never had them before and don't like seafood)

OP posts:
blackteasplease · 21/03/2017 21:59

Being a bit high on gas and air and thinking I was trying to catch a bus in Camberwell.

Gingerbreadmam · 21/03/2017 21:59

i thought the hca had been for a lovely curry and got excited at the thought of a keema naan. turns out she was healthy eating and had quinoa. i was very dissapointed.

TheDogsEatingCaptainAmerica · 21/03/2017 22:00

Being bum up face down on the hospital bed completely starkers with my private bits facing the door screaming my head off. Lady walks in and asks what I want for lunch and starts listing the soup options Confused

Heatherjayne1972 · 21/03/2017 22:02

Being on my hands and knees insisting I needed neurofen!
( in the end I only had time for gas and air)

MrsChopper · 21/03/2017 22:02

High as a kite on gas and air and doing a fart. I thought it was bloody hilarious! Neither DP or the midwife batted an eyelid. DP was very worried and the midwife incredibly professional. I had severe pre-eclampsia and it was a serious situation so they didn't see the funny side of things at all!

Cupcakey · 21/03/2017 22:02

Telling all and sundry my lady garden looked like bin ladens beard and that I was very sorry and then missing the bed pan and weeing on the bed! The shame!!! I was out of my mind on gas and air!

Hassled · 21/03/2017 22:03

With DC4 I thought I was in the film South Pacific. I had "Happy Talking" on a loop in my head and was thinking about hula skirts.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 21/03/2017 22:04

I got very worked up about dogs getting married. I was very concerned about how they had got concent from the dogs that this was what they really wanted to do. I kept saying "but how do they know the dogs want to be married?"
I don't even like dogs!

Crunchyside · 21/03/2017 22:04

Laughing my head off after having an internal examination because the midwife let me huff a massive load of gas and air while she did it Blush

LilacSpatula · 21/03/2017 22:06

Being very concerned when they broke my waters onto my new socks. I kept saying, "But my socks...!?" And DH was like, yeah don't worry about them...

Also the midwife saying I'd got my 'sense of humour back' after and epidural. Yeh, thanks love!

gaaahhhh · 21/03/2017 22:06

Mines a tmi if that's ok.

I was convinced during my labour that my lovely midwives didn't believe I was in pain and thought I was over reacting.

I remember my bloody show happened well into labour - I was screaming,obviously in labour, in the labour ward, with midwives - I had gone to for a wee in between contractions and my bloody show apeared on the tissue,and my flashback is I remember carefully wrapping the bloody tissue and taking it to my dh so he could go and show the midwife to prove I was actually in labour 😂 I think he may have humoured me!!

MollyHuaCha · 21/03/2017 22:07

Lady walks in and asks what I want for lunch and starts listing the soup options

I love this... Grin

Amanduh · 21/03/2017 22:07

These stories are hilarious Grin The gas and air did nothing to affect me at all!

gaaahhhh · 21/03/2017 22:08

Haha. I'm reading these in bed and the dog one made me LOL! How do they know??!

NeverTalksToStrangers · 21/03/2017 22:08

I wasn't high on anything. Was in admissions for ages because ds heartrate was slow. Was told "this should fix it", midwife opened a tall cupboard which was FULL of lucozade. Gave me some and ds heartrate sped up pretty much immediately.

I've told so many people this story and noone I've spoken to was ever given lucozade in labour for this reason. I've even googled it. Nada.

I ended up having an ES with him anyway as it continued to drop later on. (Irrelevant)

Rainbow1987 · 21/03/2017 22:08

I remember having a soft mint in between gas and air with dd1, and slobbering all over the place 🙈 I'd also lent my mum a book which she'd brought with her to read in quiet moments and I told her in detail what happened 😂

Theworldisfullofidiots · 21/03/2017 22:08

Playing crystal maze game across the tiles in the labour suite with dh and dsis. I had to stay on my feet to get an induction going.
2nd child had at home hoping the midwife would get there on time just before going ahhhh as I stepped into the pool in my living room.

SittinginaSleazySnackBar · 21/03/2017 22:09

Thinking I saw mr Tumnus the Fawn from the lion, the witch and the wardrobe.
Off my face on pethidine.
I also thought the midwife told me a baby was born at the exact same time as my Dd and was called the same name.
Wasn't until a few days later when I was speaking about how amazing this was that OH said "uhh that never happened sleazy."

frankie001 · 21/03/2017 22:11

I've not had a baby but I've been there when both of my sisters have given birth. Sister 1 said to me, years later, that she had a funny dream in labour that the doctor fell over and rolled on the floor. This did happen, she was a vontouse delivery, and the dr lost auction and flew across the room, picked himself up and went back in again!

Sister no 2 remembers me having a conversation while her epidural was being put in because I knew the anesthetist and we were discussing old friends!

WombOfOnesOwn · 21/03/2017 22:12

In the birth tub, 48 hours from labor getting started in earnest, half-delirious from pain, I said to my husband: "Promise me something, please, I need you to promise me."

His eyes got wide. "Anything. Whatever you need." He squeezed my hand.

"Promise me this isn't a dream. Promise me I'm not dreaming, because I'm pretty sure I can do this today, but I can't wake up and do it all over again, I can't."

Somehow, I'd become convinced I was having a very realistic dream of labor. Ended up with a hospital transfer and emcs, and the baby stayed in the nursery 24 hours longer than I did. When husband and I got home without the baby that day, we sat down in the living room and for just a moment, it was like it all HAD been a dream. I wasn't pregnant. There was no baby in the house. We were sitting like nothing had changed. For the briefest moment, BOTH of us wondered if we were dreaming. It was the strangest feeling I've ever felt.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 21/03/2017 22:14

Once DD was born, wrapped up, breathing and all had settled down a bit, the midwife went to get me a cup of tea and all of a sudden we noticed that the room was full of wasps. DH was jumping about squashing them with my rolled-up newspaper. I would have thought it was down to the gas and air playing tricks on me, only DH remembers it too.

cautiousoptimist1 · 21/03/2017 22:15

My sister is a midwife and recommended taking jelly babies in my bag to keep my sugar level up or something. DH was fab and kept offering me drinks or snacks, I don't remember having any of them but I do remember finding it funny that jelly babies don't swim (water birth!).

juls1888 · 21/03/2017 22:15

Out my head on gas and air accusing my DH of chatting up nurses in the nurses station and my mum of leaving me to go to bingo....Both were sitting right in front of me very confused.
Then midwife announced i needed an emergency c-section, handed DH scrubs and sent him to the bathroom to get changed. The shock of the c-section hit me just has he walked out of the bathroom, I started puking and a lump of potato salad shot over the room and hit DH's croc-type clogs they had gave him!
Absolutely mortifying!

LadyAlanPartridge · 21/03/2017 22:15

I had several mini diamorphine dreams about Frank Lampard in various situations

eddiemairswife · 21/03/2017 22:16

Seeing the doctor preparing to give me an episiotomy with an enormous pair of rusty shears.