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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your bizarre labour memories/flashbacks

234 replies

MrsA2015 · 21/03/2017 21:57

One of mine was being on all fours and fed an M&S Mexican 3 bean wrap, which I promptly threw up leaving the poor student midwife to clear up. Oh and asking for jellied eels (I've never had them before and don't like seafood)

OP posts:
Wilhamenawonka · 22/03/2017 14:59

Getting some sleep whilst the epidural was in at night. I was totally alone and it was dark and quiet. Very calm and relaxing. Apparently i was pressing the top up button in my sleep Grin

Trying to get up when i was stirruped up being sewn back up.
Lost so much blood i didn't know wtf was going on and everyone had to dive and catch me before i fell on the floor.

Time became very slow. Someone would say something and a few seconds.later it would feel like an hour had gone by.

Being convinced that they'd put baby upside downin the cot and she was going to suffocate. I was yelling at everyone and they were trying to reassure me but didn't have a clue what i was on about.

SpookyPotato · 22/03/2017 15:06

Not labour but the nurse fainted as she was cleaning me after my c-section, it made me feel like a right blood covered moose..

DingyDillDong · 22/03/2017 15:14

I thought I was going bowling and asked the consultant when she removed her head from between my legs if she had any size six shoes for me and my friend Jason Bateman.

When DH laughed I apparently said "Don't know why your laughing, I'm going to put the sides up and me and Jason are going to get so many strikes you'll quit bowling for good." I haven't been bowling for about 15 years and have no idea why I was thinking about Jason Bateman at the time.

After DS was delivered I was lying on the bed in theatre and I decided that the name I had chosen wasn't right. I hadn't even seen DS yet but I decided that we were going to call him Harold. The surgeon was laughing at me and telling me I should definitely stick with that name whilst DH told me that was not our babies name. I cried and shouted at him saying "How can you say that? I love Harold!"

ameliaesmith · 22/03/2017 15:27

Lol, love these!

LongIslandForgottenTea · 22/03/2017 15:36

Off my face on gas and air and suddenly realising I needed a loo, ended up waddling down the ward on gas and air singing a song to myself about not peeing on the way to the bathroom, and this is part of the reason why I suspect they'll probably never induce me on the ward ever again :o worst moment in my life was when that canister of joy ran out >.

moobeana · 22/03/2017 16:17

I had the urge to pee and went to the toilet, but couldn't led. Baby head was stopping me peeing, once she descended into birth canal properly she finally allowed me to wee.

Such was the sudden relief I just 'let go'. According to my husband it was a golden arch fountain, which only missed the midwife by an inch!

Jaffacakecake1234 · 22/03/2017 17:24

Also when i started pushing i was pushing so hard i thought the head was out turna out is just had a poo. I deffinitly new when the head did eventually come out

EyeStye · 22/03/2017 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheStoatIsStoatallyDifferent · 22/03/2017 18:06

Eye naming contractions as if they were hurricanes is genius!

miserableandinpain · 22/03/2017 18:07

Ds1 hubby missed the birth he left to go get my things and called me during pushing. Midwife asked if i wanted to answer my phone...i was crowning.

Ds2 i fell asleep between contractions when pushing. And then as soon as baby arrived i was very awake

purpleprincess24 · 22/03/2017 18:45

Norman I can't stop laughing, I have tears running down my face

ScaryMonstersandSuperCreeps · 22/03/2017 19:04

Just remembered one my late DH told me. When he worked in a German hospital in the 1960's a lady was brought in who had been carried down six flights of stairs in a towerblock because the lift was broken. He was on reception when she left and he jokingly suggested she moved before she had the next baby. "Oh i live on the ground floor but i panicked when my pains started and i went up to my friends flat! Shock Grin

purpleprincess24 · 22/03/2017 19:26

Not labour related but I recently had a prolapse repair.

That evening, high on morphine, when the doctor asked how I was feeling, I went to great lengths complaining about how much pain I was in and asking how he'd feel if he had his 'vagina cut top to bottom, front and back' ..... except it wasn't the doctor, it was the man who was there to change a lightbulb by my bed ... poor guy I probably scared him for life!

HelenaGWells · 22/03/2017 19:32

I had retained placenta after the birth of my first and I was wheeled off down the corridor high on gas and air. As I went down I remember thinking the crashing through doors was exciting like the beginning of casualty on TV. I may have been singing the theme tune....

wonderingsoul · 22/03/2017 19:39

Ds1 thel midwife getting anoyed at me when i screamed after a push telling me id be ages yet and the tranie midwife have to jump in front if her to catch ds1 as i pushed him out after the 3rd push. (I was sqauting on the edge if the bed )

Ds2 was in trouble consotant in front if me legs in stuirps so he can see everything. Midwiffes pulling upsides to get ready to wheel me down for a emergency c cestion and the consoltant asking my ex husband what i was doing and he reolyed shes pushing and out slid ds2 much to every ones surprise

Netflixandchill · 22/03/2017 19:46

I pooed myself a fair bit, kept saying omg sorry!

Kept being told I wasn't ready to push so I got up, walked out of the room and locked myself in the toilet and tried to push my son out, the midwife had to force the door open and take me back to bed. 30 minutes later he was in my arms.

Used the bed rails to help with my pushing and ripped them both off, completely broke the hospital bed. Also reached out in a pethadine haze to grab something, grabbed the midwifes breast and twisted it Blush so embarrasing

JoffreyBaratheon · 22/03/2017 19:48

One really traumatic labour. Only 20 minutes long. No pattern to it. Just one, unending, crashingly appalling pain with no respite, no build up - just that. (And at the time having no idea it would only go on for 21 mins)... I thought I was dying. It was my second labour and my first had been very easy. All happening too fast for drugs. So it wasn't that. But not far from the end, my mum appeared at the foot of the bed and told me I was going to be alright.

She'd been dead 20 years.

Netflixandchill · 22/03/2017 19:49

The second baby I had at home and the cat walked in and looked as if to say what the hell! I was high on gas and air and told the midwife the cat would be great help as cats are really good at giving birth 😂

lisaboo83 · 22/03/2017 20:22

I was off my face on the gas and air (I think I was breathing it constantly and not really taking a break between contractions!). I was talking rubbish, and then apparently overheard the mw & student mw talking about a placement the student mw had done in Europe, and snapped out of my daze for a moment to ask her if Brexit was going to affect her training! Grin
My dh very much enjoys telling people that when in the birthing pool I kept saying I couldn't believe I was doing this "hippy mumbo jumbo nonsense"!
I remember there being some very odd dancey/ravey type music on in the room but not sure if that was the g&a!
I pp diarrhoea during my pregnancy and had the runs when I arrived at the hospital. I was struggling to cope with the contractions when I was alone in the toilet so the next time I had to go I made my dh come in with me - very undignified! Blush

Sienna9522 · 22/03/2017 20:26

Gas and air didn't do anything, diamorphine on the other hand, got me off my face!

Apparently, I repeatedly asked 'where is he?' much to the confusion of DP and the lovely midwife. When asked who 'he' was, I'd demand 'just tell me where he's gone'

When the anaesthetist attempted to give me an epidural, I was too uncomfortable to sit still or follow simple instructions, so of course it was her fault, I shouted 'it can't be that difficult to get a bloody needle in my back, they seem to manage alright on one born every minute'.

I also vommed 4 times, shit myself 5 times more than once and resembled something out of the exorcist with my eyes rolling back, hair unwashed and stuck up and swaying at the side of the bed with DP having to hold me up, given I nearly collapsed twice. Poor DP was on his feet for 16 hours.

I only had her 16 days ago, but it's definitely put me off having another for a long time.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 22/03/2017 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peeriesheltiemummyof2 · 22/03/2017 20:35

I was lying in the bed sucking on gas and air like it was going out of fashion and (apparently according to my mum and my husband) I shouted 'stop jumping on the bed!'

They were sitting on the other side of the room, utterly confused!

I swear my other half was jumping on the bed.....

ItWentInMyEye · 22/03/2017 20:36

With DS1 I had every drug going, was subsequently off my tatas and told the midwives how much I enjoyed chewing my Barbies fingers when they were warm in the bath as a child. Apparently the smell in the gas and air mask reminded me of the taste. They were crying tears of laughter Grin

SunnyDayDreaming101 · 22/03/2017 20:44

OMG I'm crying with laughter! I'm due my first really soon and this has made the whole thing way less scary! Grin

Cocolepew · 22/03/2017 21:15

I was high as a kite with DD1 and the dr came in to clip the clippy thing to her head to monitor her heart (or something Confused)
He managed to clip his glove to her head and aplogised whilst standing there with his hand up my foof.
I made a remark about feeling like Sooty. I then proceeded to laugh like a drain at this while he looked at me like Hmm

  • Not actual medical terms. Probably