Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people can afford holidays/nice things if they just save?

186 replies

user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 15:49

I have a friend who constantly complains that she wished she could go on holiday, buy this, have money for that etc.

She has a decent job, a nice house, doesn't need/want for anything, she probably eats takeaway 2 times a week (maybe 3) I see this as a waste of money

let's say that's 15 each go, 30/45 euros a week.... lately she's really been complaining and wishing for a holiday, surely if she just stopped having takeaways she'd be able to afford it.. a week in the sun isn't that expensive; book out of season, her and 1 young child possibly 500 total IF even for a week!..

I've said to her before, in a nice way, if you cut down on unnecessary costs you'll have extra in no time.

She's not unhealthy, she just loves pigging out!
Aibu to be annoyed by her constant giving out when I've told her?

OP posts:
Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 15:50

Example nowadays you can get really cheap holidays if you dig deep... hotels you can pay off bit by bit cause not many people have hundreds upfront.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 19/03/2017 15:51

Yes you are. BVU. You're not her keeper.

She can spend her money on what she likes.

TheFairyCaravan · 19/03/2017 15:52

Some people can afford nice things if they save. Plenty of people don't have any money left over at the end of the month to do so, though.

LittleBearPad · 19/03/2017 15:54

Is she meant to do what you tell her, otherwise she gets sod all sympathy

ImperialBlether · 19/03/2017 15:54

Of course she can't afford to go on holiday if she's spending £180 a month on takeaways. If she complains, just remind her of that.

FreedomMummy · 19/03/2017 15:55

YABU in your thread title. Some people have literally not a penny to save.

As for the situation with your friend, you may not be so U, however no one knows all the details of friends finances.

PlayOnWurtz · 19/03/2017 15:55

I have no sympathy with people with disposable income for nights out and takeaways who complain they can't have a holiday.

We are skint. Properly skint. Still have a holiday because we don't waste money

Afterthestorm · 19/03/2017 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZilphasHatpin · 19/03/2017 15:56

Well your title isnt asking what your OP is asking. You don't think she needs to save, you think she needs to stop spending on one luxury to pay for another. Well of course that's common sense, yes, stop paying for one thing and you can have another. But, she is right in saying that she can't afford holidays etc. She doesn't have extra money on top of what she already spends and she doesn't have any interest in changing her current spending habits. She doesn't have to either. If you complained about not being able to afford a night out every month she could say "well you could if you just saved" when she actually means, you could if you stopped spending on holidays. Bottom line, people have different priorities. And that's fine.

noeffingidea · 19/03/2017 15:56

You might have a point about your friend, OP. She could well save if she looked at her budget and cut down in some areas. If she wants to, of course.
Some people aren't in a position to do that though, they may have already had to cut back just to afford essentials.

PutThatPomBearBack · 19/03/2017 15:57
Biscuit
ZilphasHatpin · 19/03/2017 15:57

We are skint. Properly skint. Still have a holiday because we don't waste money

Grin how can you post that line with a straight face!! You're not properly skint if you're having holidays. And to many people holidays are wasting money!

phoenixtherabbit · 19/03/2017 15:58

It's not just booking the holiday it's having the holiday clothes the spending money the means to get to the airport etc.

Have you ever thought that the takeaways might her her treat to her, from her, because she cannot afford anything else?

Yabu. And as for 'ive told her' what and she should quit takeaways right now because you've said so 🙄

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 15:59

I didn't mean to come across as being bossy etc, I was trying to make a point that she constantly asks and wonders why she can't afford a holiday, and of course I point out about uneccessary takeaways, she seems to think saving 'little' bits of money won't make a difference (fails to see the bigger picture) I think she just doesn't have the patience to save....didn't mean my title to come across as misleading

OP posts:
PlayOnWurtz · 19/03/2017 15:59

Because what our idea of a holiday is isn't probably what your idea of one is. A holiday for us is visiting family in another part of the UK and finding money for petrol or the train to get there.

phoenixtherabbit · 19/03/2017 15:59

And you're not properly skint if you have a holiday that's a ridiculous statement!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/03/2017 15:59

Your thread title suggests everyone should be able to save if they put their minds to it. Which is very unreasonable.

I'm on the fence about the takeaways. They obviously give her pleasure and she enjoys them, there's nothing wrong with that. How often is she complaining about not going on holiday? Once or twice, every now and then, every time you see her? If it's not often then YABU. We all have a bit of a moan every now and then.

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 16:00

and to the people saying 'she'd cut down if she wanted a holiday' have you not read it properly? she HAS been asking me and complaining about not having holidays

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/03/2017 16:00

Failing to see the bigger picture is understandable. £15 for a takeaway, she's had a shit week, she wants a curry, she's not likely to sit there and think "I know, I won't have a takeaway, I'll put the £15 towards a holiday I might be able to afford in a year's time". Very few people think like that.

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 16:01

Only lately, quite often.. so it seems she wants to take action and pick up something soon.

OP posts:
Theresnonamesleft · 19/03/2017 16:01

Where can I find a holiday for less than £500 for a week? Including transfers, insurance, passport money and spending money?
Oh and in school holidays?
Would like somewhere that isn't pissing it down daily, might as well stay at home and spend the money on other things.

But anyway up to her what she spends on. Maybe she does takeaways because late schedule and pick up a take away on the way home.

daisychain01 · 19/03/2017 16:03

It's another "if you work a bit harder like me, you could save enough to buy a house" thread

ZilphasHatpin · 19/03/2017 16:03

Because what our idea of a holiday is isn't probably what your idea of one is.

How on earth can you know what my idea of a holiday is? Confused I'm a single mum of two on part time min wage. A trip into town for new shoes is bloody big day for us! Grin

HermioneJeanGranger · 19/03/2017 16:03

Well, sure, lots of people CAN afford holidays if they cut back on takeaways, meals out, weekly/daily Starbucks, but equally, a lot of people never buy those things and still can't afford a holiday because every last penny goes on bills/food/rent.

People who's "treats" include Starbucks once a month, or one takeaway a month, aren't going to save the hundreds needed for a holiday by saving that £30 a month Hmm

Littlepond · 19/03/2017 16:03

i am always very careful to not use the words "I can't afford" about anything. We have very little disposable income, but yes, if we saved every penny and never had a night out, a take away, a coffee at costa, a new top then we could have a holiday. We chose to spend our money differently to this as I would not enjoy a life of doing literally nothing all year, no meals out or day trips, in order to have just one week away per year. But this is our choice. To put into perspective, my disposable income after all bills and food is paid for is £25 a week. Approx £100 a month. So if I literally did nothing non essential we could have a £1200 holiday in the summer.
But I like taking the kids to McDonald's occasionally. I like meeting my son for a coffee some Fridays after school. In half term we like a day trip or two. So there isn't anything left for a summer holiday.