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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people can afford holidays/nice things if they just save?

186 replies

user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 15:49

I have a friend who constantly complains that she wished she could go on holiday, buy this, have money for that etc.

She has a decent job, a nice house, doesn't need/want for anything, she probably eats takeaway 2 times a week (maybe 3) I see this as a waste of money

let's say that's 15 each go, 30/45 euros a week.... lately she's really been complaining and wishing for a holiday, surely if she just stopped having takeaways she'd be able to afford it.. a week in the sun isn't that expensive; book out of season, her and 1 young child possibly 500 total IF even for a week!..

I've said to her before, in a nice way, if you cut down on unnecessary costs you'll have extra in no time.

She's not unhealthy, she just loves pigging out!
Aibu to be annoyed by her constant giving out when I've told her?

OP posts:
KoolKoala07 · 19/03/2017 16:30

I have a friend who always says to me and Dh that we're always on holiday- We're not. But her and her partner were spending almost £100 a month on sky. That's £1200 almost a year. Our holidays are usually 3* cheapies (which we love) which we usually only pay £400 ish for. Having said that. We all make different choices in life you have yours, she has hers, but she shouldn't moan.

BonnesVacances · 19/03/2017 16:30

People have different priorities. We don't have Sky, takeaways or a new car. Instead we go abroad 2 or 3 times a year, each costing around £250-£300 pp including flights & transfers. All self-catering so the spending money isn't vastly more than staying at home. In the school holidays too, though not July/Aug.

But that's what I live and work for. If I wasn't so fussed about holidays I'd probably spend my money on other things. But I'd rather not get a takeaway and have another £30 in the holiday fund. And it all adds up.

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 16:32

who said I was in the UK? I'd hardly use euros if I was in England?... if you read the post properly you'd see when i refer to currency i use euros... I'm in ireland.

We have a week break in February, 2 week break in April for Easter...

OP posts:
Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 16:34

So. Tell me. Where was I supposed to save from? Please do tell me.

Dawndonnaagain · 19/03/2017 16:37

I'd love a holiday. I can't afford to have a holiday, neither am I in a position to save for one. It's not just about saving. Your title needs to be clearer. There are those of us who are unlikely to have a holiday or be in the position to save for one.
Before anyone starts, I don't drink, smoke, have takeaways. I'm a carer and I get bugger all.

oldwife · 19/03/2017 16:38

It's her choice though.

I feel the same when I see smokers driving round in shitty old cars - if they quit the fags they'd have more than enough for a decent car (and more).

But it isn't any of my business - so I don't say anything.

ex-smoker, does it show?

Pinkheart5915 · 19/03/2017 16:39

Yabu to have the title you have for your post as that's just stupid Of course for many people it's not as simple as just save and you can have nice stuff Confused

Do you live with this friend? Or does she text you everyday telling you what she had for dinner? How else could you possibly know she has take away 2-3 times a week.

Maybe when she's had a hard week and doesn't want to cook yet again, she's a single parent so nobody to cook for her she thinks sod it I'll get a takeaway. I doubt if she thinks well user thinks if I don't have takeaways I can have a holiday so no take away for me

So are school holidays completely different to the dates for the uk? Meaning holidays would be sooooooo much cheaper in February or March? Maybe she simply doesn't want to go to turkey or sleep in a tent for example and cook every night if that's the only way she can have a holiday and I honestly don't blame her if so

Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 16:40

I didn't drink then. I still barely do. I didn't smoke and even at that I can't remember the last time I had take away. I drank water from the tap with value squash. I shopped at Lidl and had a strict budget for my outgoings. I heated one room and put hot water bottles in the kids rooms and walked bloody everywhere. Went hungry so my kids could eat.

So, off your title, please tell me where exactly I was supposed to magic up the money to save from?

ImFuckingSpartacus · 19/03/2017 16:41

You say she has a child so unless that child isn't school age or your not in the uk how is she meant to go away in February/March?

Is the euro the UK currency?

smilingsarahb · 19/03/2017 16:41

Yes some people with lots of money choose to prioritise one luxury over another and say they can't afford the other. It does wind me up a teeny bit. I try to say 'we've chosen to buy merlin passes this year instead of a holiday' but others can't afford to save for anything and saying you could save up must be even more annoying for them.

glitterglitters · 19/03/2017 16:41

To the OP yes. I've got a friend who is from a very well off family. She constantly moans that she will never ever get on the property ladder in London. She will be trapped on the rental cycle forever. Brilliant job. Earns well as does dp. Always going to America, treating herself and has designer things. My best friend has never had a hand out in her life, her and dp don't earn brilliantly but get buy. She saved her arse off and has a one bed flat in Zone 2. So yes.

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 16:45

eh, she wouldnt have to 'sleep in a tent'... i went to spain 2 weeks ago for 4 days and it cost 480 total for flights and accom.. it was 4 star accomodation, yes it is so much cheaper than peak times..

OP posts:
Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 16:48

Op? Any chance you could answer me ?

FarAwayHills · 19/03/2017 16:51

Same could be said for those who can afford to smoke and drink but can't afford to feed and clothe their kids. Priorities.

BarbaraofSeville · 19/03/2017 16:51

Some people have very little spare money and can barely afford the essentials.

A tiny percentage have so much money, they can have all the luxuries they like and will never run out of money.

Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. We have some spare money so can afford some treats, but have to prioritise and compromise and can't have everything all the time.

It sounds like your friend could afford a holiday by cutting down on takeaways if she is really spending 180 euro a month on a twice weekly takeaway. She could probably get a supermarket pizza or curry instead for about 5 euro and save the rest and even if she put 20/30 euro a week away just by doing that one thing, she'd have 1000 to 1500 euro saved after a year, which would easily pay for a week in the sun for one adult and one DC.

Pinkheart5915 · 19/03/2017 16:53

was your trip to Spain all inclusive? Did you cook all meals? As my idea of a holiday isn't cooking and maybe your friend feels the same way

How much spending money did you use on your trip? waits for just 5 euro answer

You said her and 1 child could do it for 500 but you spent 480 just on flights and accommodation so unless all inclusive I imagine food (even if you and to cook to) added a fair amount and you only got to go for 4 days

expatinscotland · 19/03/2017 16:53

Exactly, sooty.

maddiemookins16mum · 19/03/2017 16:53

Unless I lived with a person, in their house (as a couple probably) etc, I would have no idea exactly how they spent their money, or how many takeaways they had a week. MYOB comes to mind, nosy mare.

TheNaze73 · 19/03/2017 16:54

I think in most cases, it's lifestyle choices. There are always going to be different extremes. Some could maybe get rid of the au pair, cut down on the Costa coffees, lose the Sky package or trade down to a smaller car.

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 16:55

Well annesmyth123, without sounding like a b
did you have a job while looking after those 2 kids? on benefits?.. obviously you can't expect to have disposable income if not working or earning money / getting money handed to you, i'm sorry you had hard times...

of course people have several children, houses to run, bills to pay, but people do have the chance to choose what they spend their disposable income if any on..

I had 2 jobs at 18 just for the extra money, and all my money went on bills, car, etc... but I still managed 15 left over each week, 10 on food in tesco/aldi, 5er into piggy box..

OP posts:
Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 16:56

I didn't have sky.

I didn't have a car.

I never had a costa.

I didn't have an au pair.

What exactly was I supposed to cut back?

ZilphasHatpin · 19/03/2017 16:56

I feel the same when I see smokers driving round in shitty old cars - if they quit the fags they'd have more than enough for a decent car (and more).

Wow! Do you actually think that about strangers when you see them smoking? I wonder what people decide I need to give up when they see my shitty car. It's funny what irritates some people.

Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 16:56

Oh user.

And there we have it.

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 16:58

yes pinkheart but that's cause I wanted a more 'luxury accom' and could of got that for 1/4 the price, but i hadn't had a holiday in ages.

I said above, she can do it for that price TOTAL if she wanted to, accom for around 180 for a week, in very basic places.. flights with the rest, and 200 spending money say.

in the likes of spain you can get a 3 course meal for 6/7 euros.
kids for half the price.

eat lunch in apartment, rolls for 50 cent with ham and mayo, fruit, sweets, whatever it is.

breakfast, full irish, 3 euros.. it is cheaper than you think.

OP posts:
ZilphasHatpin · 19/03/2017 16:58

Don't worry OP, you sounded like a bitch long before that post to anne