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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people can afford holidays/nice things if they just save?

186 replies

user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 15:49

I have a friend who constantly complains that she wished she could go on holiday, buy this, have money for that etc.

She has a decent job, a nice house, doesn't need/want for anything, she probably eats takeaway 2 times a week (maybe 3) I see this as a waste of money

let's say that's 15 each go, 30/45 euros a week.... lately she's really been complaining and wishing for a holiday, surely if she just stopped having takeaways she'd be able to afford it.. a week in the sun isn't that expensive; book out of season, her and 1 young child possibly 500 total IF even for a week!..

I've said to her before, in a nice way, if you cut down on unnecessary costs you'll have extra in no time.

She's not unhealthy, she just loves pigging out!
Aibu to be annoyed by her constant giving out when I've told her?

OP posts:
Pinkheart5915 · 19/03/2017 16:58

but people do have the chance to choose what they spend their disposable income if any on and your "friend" chooses take aways she is an adult and that's her choice

megletthesecond · 19/03/2017 16:59

Yabu.

A £500 holiday by scrimping all year would be miserable. I could cobble together that amount but we'd have to stop all our days out the other 11 months of the year.

MamaHanji · 19/03/2017 16:59

What a goady thread title. If we 'just saved' we still wouldn't be able to afford a holiday! We are fortunate enough that my parents rent a massive house in the Lake District in the summer for a week and our whole family goes and they don't ask us to pay except for buying any specific food we need for my dietary issues and my toddler.

We don't have treats often, like takeaways or eating out because we save that money to go to the farm as a family or to the super expensive but really fun trampoline park, or pottery painting. Or something special we do as a family as a treat once a month. We could save up by not having any treats like that and maybe go on a sun holiday but honestly, holiday parks sound like hell for introverts like us.

My sister complains about the cost of food but she buys avocados all the time and posh goats cheese and steak. People are allowed to spend their money on what they like and are also allowed to have a whinge.

Stop judging.

busyboysmum · 19/03/2017 17:00

I have some friends who both smoke who moan in a similar fashion. I'm guessing for both of them to smoke 20 a day must cost £15 a day?

I wouldn't say anything to them but I do think to myself well if you didn't smoke you could afford a nice holiday plus it would be so much better for you. Both in late 40s and starting to suffer health wise.

IHaveBrilloHair · 19/03/2017 17:02

When you've been in a heat or eat situation, and I have, threads like this are just ridiculous.

ilovesooty · 19/03/2017 17:04

I think you're coming over more badly with every post OP. I do hope if your friend identifies herself on here she'll decide she's well rid of you.

Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 17:05

User. Please search my posts. I was in the most incredibly abusive relationship you can imagine. I fled with literally nothing. I built my life from nothing. I had no job I couldn't go back to it so I had to live on benefits until I got back on my feet.

I am proud of the fact that I fed and clothed my children before myself. I am proud of myself that I kept them safe and secure. And built a home for them.

So please. Don't post crap like that aimed at me. You have no idea.

ChocolateWombat · 19/03/2017 17:05

Quite simply, somepeople have an income that can only cover basics such as food (no takeaways) accommodation and bills. There is nothing left for holidays or takeaways or coffee in Starbucks. They have already trimmed every luxury. For these people life is pretty hard because unexpected emergencies such as the fridge breaking down or a child needing new shoes is an expense that there is no cash for. Most people can save some money by adjusting spending, but for many, it will be a tiny saving.

More people are probably In the bracket of choosing certain luxuries which then mean they can't afford others....it's all about choice. So if you eat takeaway 3 times a week, you will have £50 a week (or more) less to spend on something else. If you have Sky TV something else will have to give. If you go to Spain on holiday, you might not be able to have gym membership too. Isn't this blindingly obvious??

Many people don't seem to grasp that a regular seemingly small spend totals a lot over time and could pay for something else much bigger....like a holiday or a new car,mor whatever. It is true that many people seem to struggle with the idea of saving over a period and going without seemingly cheap regular luxuries....they struggle to take a longer term view of expenditure....it's a sign of financial immaturity, but very many people are financially immature.

At the end of the day, if friend wants to eat takeaway and values it more than holidays, then fine. There's nothing to say a holiday is a more worthwhile spend. OP is right that friend could prob have a holiday if she cut out the takeaways and most of us could have another bigger item if we reduced the regular little luxury spends. The friend has to choose for herself though.

On a larger scale this issue partly explains why lots of people struggle to get on the housing ladder. Yes property in many areas is crazy prices and huge deposits are needed. In the past, young people really scrimped to get that deposit. The costs of an expensive mobile contract, exotic holidays and travelling, big expensive nights out etc....things which many young people see as the norm, perhaps are the norm but are hugely expensive and make saving very difficult. I understand that when the amounts needed as deposits are so eye watering they seem totally I achievable and so people sometimes decide not to oven bother. I've known people save hard for a couple of years and then spend the lot of a huge holiday because they just got bored of the tedium of saving.....and saving for a holiday or a house or a case IS tedious....the short term sacrifices of doing out or takeaways or magazines or coffees is boring, but it's necessary for longer term financial prosperity, in much the same way that sacrificing to pay into a pension is to prevent old age poverty. If we want to be richer in future we need to make the sacrifices now. If we do t want to make sacrifices now, that is our choice, but the consequences will be there and we have to take responsibility for them.

GrandDesespoir · 19/03/2017 17:07

Where can I find a holiday for less than £500 for a week? Including transfers, insurance, passport money and spending money?

I went to north Africa for a week last year. Flight was

ShoutOutToMyEx · 19/03/2017 17:09

Everyone likes to have a moan every now and again about life, it doesn't mean they want a smug answer from their "friend" on how to fix it. I'm sure your friend would be mortified if she thought you were being so judgemental about her on a public forum.

This times a billion! I HATE people who constantly come up with 'solutions'. Yeah, cos I'm a total idiot who's never thought of that.... just let me moan!

busyboysmum · 19/03/2017 17:10

I've just booked flights to France for £52 return in June. We'll hire through owners direct which will be around £250 for an apartment for a week. We'll eat as we do at home from a supermarket so that's nothing more than we would spend at home. You can do a holiday really cheaply if you want to.

EmeraldScorn · 19/03/2017 17:11

PlayOnWurtz - We are skint. Properly skint. Still have a holiday because we don't waste money .... Then obviously you are not "skint" and definitely not "properly skint" because skint people can not afford holidays of any description even if it is "just" the train fare.

Properly skint is literally not having a fiver to top up the electricity or money for basic food like bread/milk - Your sanctimonious ignorance has pissed me off!

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 17:12

Sorry about that anne, but that is nothing to do with my friend and regards holiday... it's not you I am talking about, so no need to worry.

Fair play to you for looking after your children and fleeing a horrible relationship...

but this is a post aimed around someone I know, we don't need to compare (you asking how could you have done that, saved etcetera)

OP posts:
ImFuckingSpartacus · 19/03/2017 17:12

It seems fairly clear that OP meant specifically one person rather than all people, so rabidly roaring the completely obvious fact that many people can't afford to save seems rather pointless.
Have at it though.

pointstaken · 19/03/2017 17:12

YANBU

I am bored of people moaning they can't afford a family holiday, but...
they have 2 cars
they have an expensive SKY package or other
they have the latest mobile phone which comes with an expensive monthly package
they have take-away
they go out at least once a week, and buy expensive drinks
they go to the hairdresser and have their nails done
they have a cleaner

and so on.

I completely agree it is shit that most of us have to make sacrifices one way or another, and scrimp on something to pay for something else. It's even worst when you do work, pay tax and are all but lazy.
What gets on my nerves are people moaning about your choices (like holidays) because they prefer to spend their money on something else.

Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 17:12

That's not your thread title.

And your flippant tone towards me is hurtful and nasty.

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 17:13

And can we all stop comparing what the slang word skint really means...

I'm broker than you, no I am!!

It's the very same as I'm richer, better off...etc. it's not a contest ladies..

finished with this thread now.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 19/03/2017 17:14

'obviously you can't expect to have disposable income if not working or earning money / getting money handed to you'

'Getting money handed to you'. Fucking obnoxious thing to write. Just like all your posts. You sure have spent a lot of time costing out this holiday to Spain for this woman. Why not moonlight as a self-employed travel agent. It'll occupy your time better than being such a busybody.

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 17:14

Yes, thank you.. the only reason I wrote 'people' is because many people give out, about the topic, but I was aiming this post at one person.

OP posts:
ShoutOutToMyEx · 19/03/2017 17:15

Here here expat

Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 17:16

Your thread title.

Am I being unreasonable To think people can afford holidays/nice things if they just save?

I want you to tell me where I was supposed to save from?

Original poster
user1488487346 · 19/03/2017 17:16

expatinscotland, I'm really sorry if that comment didn't agree with you, but I feel very strongly about rewarding yourself with money you earned yourself.. I don't think it's obnoxious.. surely getting benefits/welfare... it is getting money handed to you? you can look t all the factors and reasons why, but at the end of the day that's what it is, you go to your local office and get a sum handed to you.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 19/03/2017 17:16

You mean you've finished with this thread now having bitch plopped all over it. And expat is right. Those comments are obnoxious.

Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 17:17

Oh yeah. That'll be from all the millions of pounds I got handed to me. As a single parent on benefits picking her life up off the floor.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 19/03/2017 17:18

I share this link every now and again because MN is really bad for assuming everybody is the same as them. And I don't just mean assuming everyone is rich.

UK society is very divided and very stratified and it is shockingly easy to think that everyone can afford a cleaner. Or that most people must struggle to find money to put in the electric meter.

This is what UK household incomes are actually like:
www.theguardian.com/money/2014/mar/25/uk-incomes-how-salary-compare

About half of all families with two children earn at least £50,000.

If you have two children and you earn less than £20,000 per year, you are in the poorest 10% of households.

Based on these figures, it's fair to say that yes, most families with children can afford to take a holiday if they plan carefully and that's what they want to spend their money on. A not insignificant minority (maybe 10-15% of families) cannot.

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