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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Childminders comment

189 replies

StudentMum92 · 15/03/2017 14:01

Name changed just incase.

I've been to pick DD up from her Childminder. DD is 7 months old and is going from crawling to sofa surfing. CM told me that DD had fallen back and bumped her head. But what threw was that she said she was there behind her and she let her fall. She's got to learn not to do it again.

I was quite abrupt and said that sofa surfing is a normal developmental stage and said that if you're there next time, pull her down don't just let her fall.

Yes I know babies fall, it's natural but to deliberately let a 7 month old fall back and bump her head doesn't sit right with me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 15/03/2017 14:02

I don't think you have time for mning - you need to find a new cm imo. .

MrsSeverusSnape · 15/03/2017 14:03

I'm a childminder and this is pretty shocking! Little ones fall and get bumps, but I would never intentionally allow a child to fall and injure themselves.

How do you feel about leaving her with the childminder again?

Bellerophon · 15/03/2017 14:03

YANBU. It's not her choice to say how the child can experience falls etc, and introduce the "school of hard knocks. "

If you'd stipulated to her that you want intervention in situations like these, then she should follow your guidelines or you should find another childminder

If you hadn't said anything previous to this, then accept that she wrongly took the initiative and provide her with guidance.

IamFriedSpam · 15/03/2017 14:04

Very weird from the CM. Of course babies will have accidents but deliberately letting a young baby fall over is incredible crazy. I'd find a new CM.

paddypants13 · 15/03/2017 14:05

I wouldn't be happy with that at all. Yes, children need to learn from their mistakes but deliberately letting her bang her head is unacceptable.

Bellerophon · 15/03/2017 14:07

IamFriedSpam - agreed!

EB123 · 15/03/2017 14:09

That is really weird. I always try to catch my own children and any others I am near if they are falling, it is instinct even if it was a random child at soft play. There will be plenty of times when they can't be caught for them to learn about bumps.

Original poster
StudentMum92 · 15/03/2017 14:11

Thanks, I didn't think I was BU. Don't get me wrong, I'm no helicopter parent and at home DD gets on with it. That's my decision as her parent.
But for a paid professional to do it?

OP posts:
Looneytune253 · 15/03/2017 14:11

Unacceptable to allow her to fall deliberately definitely but cm should let her do it (and you too) then catch her if she falls. Yanbu to be upset she deliberately didnt catch her. Yabu to expect her to pull her straight down. Tbh though, if it did happen as you say I would be looking for alternative care.

mmgirish · 15/03/2017 14:12

Time to find a new cm. That was weird.

BhajiAllTheWay · 15/03/2017 14:12

Dangerous. If shed really hurt herself...what then? Would she have admitted she deliberately let her fall? So if when she's older she steps off the kerb and is told not to but does it again the CM will let her to teach her a lesson.? Find a new CM.

LittleIda · 15/03/2017 14:13

It should be instinct to stop a child falling and banging their head.Shock

NotAPuffin · 15/03/2017 14:14

Don't go back. That's awfully irresponsible and slightly mad.

ZilphasHatpin · 15/03/2017 14:16

No way should anyone be letting a baby fall and bag their head!! If she thought it was going to be a bum landing then maybe but you would have your hands right at their back to catch them if they toppled back!

strongswans · 15/03/2017 14:17

Time for a new cm. I was a cm until recently and that is unacceptable! At what point does letting them learn stop before it becomes dangerous.

1bighappyfamily · 15/03/2017 14:18

I don't think you have time for mning - you need to find a new cm imo

^^this.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/03/2017 14:31

I could never imagine dds childminder saying this. I'd be wtf if I were you.

Vegansnake · 15/03/2017 14:38

Cold hard bitch springs to mind...not with my child ..and that's just what she tells you about....oh she got run over by a car today..but don't worry she will soon learn not to run into the road.i was watching ,so it's ok...

gameofchance · 15/03/2017 14:41

Children this age don't have the capacity to learn way cm suggests. I would be furious and looking for new cm. is your cm registered??

APlaceOnTheCouch · 15/03/2017 14:45

tbh I'd think she wasn't watching at all and decided that the lesser of the two evils was to pretend she let your DC fall as a learning point. She maybe thought that sounded better than saying 'I've got no idea what happened because I wasn't paying enough attention to my charge'.
Either way, you still need a new CM.

CookieLady · 15/03/2017 14:47

Look for a new child minder. Angry

Astoria7974 · 15/03/2017 14:48

It's instinct to stop a child from falling. I do it all the time on the tube - reach out and pull children back when they look like they'll go falling. If your CM doesn't have that instinct then maybe she should leave the profession

Sidge · 15/03/2017 14:48

She's a twat.

If she knew the first thing about child development she'd know that's not how it works.

Children don't learn motor skills by acquiring a brain injury Hmm

I'd be tempted to pull her out with immediate effect as she has broken her contract with you by allowing your baby to come to harm. She might as well let her play with knives, as once she's cut herself she will learn not to play with knives.

highinthesky · 15/03/2017 14:50

YADNBU, in your position I would be losing my shit.

Head injuries can be very serious and going by the OP your CM is irresponsible and should not be in charge of children.

How's DD, any bruising, unusual behaviour, sickness etc? Keep an eye on her please.

Original poster
StudentMum92 · 15/03/2017 15:02

Hi everyone.

DD is fine, I've typed up a letter giving notice with immediate effect. She can keep the deposit! Time to find a new minder!

OP posts: