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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Childminders comment

189 replies

StudentMum92 · 15/03/2017 14:01

Name changed just incase.

I've been to pick DD up from her Childminder. DD is 7 months old and is going from crawling to sofa surfing. CM told me that DD had fallen back and bumped her head. But what threw was that she said she was there behind her and she let her fall. She's got to learn not to do it again.

I was quite abrupt and said that sofa surfing is a normal developmental stage and said that if you're there next time, pull her down don't just let her fall.

Yes I know babies fall, it's natural but to deliberately let a 7 month old fall back and bump her head doesn't sit right with me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
wonderingsoul · 15/03/2017 15:09

I think she may have said it wrong.

Id say its more liekly she meant she didnt atomaticly go to catch her because she though shed fall on her bum.

I think its highly unlikely she knew shed bump her head on something and let her do it.

Also you cant keep a child from surfing... shed never never learn to walk if she kept being picked up and sat down.

I think it was a genuine accident that the childmimder didnt seebcomimg

fruitlovingmonkey · 15/03/2017 15:15

Talk to her again. Perhaps she just worded it badly.

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse · 15/03/2017 15:16

I'd have added to your notice letter that you're seeking the advice of OFSTED as to whether 7month olds do indeed 'need to learn' that particular lesson. She's a twat, you're a great mum for getting her out of there pronto.

Doyouwantabrew · 15/03/2017 15:19

As a childminder I find that comment totally bizarre.

As a human being I would instinctively dart forwards to catch any random child who looks like falling.

What's her notice terms? You may have to pay the months fees. Sad

starfishmummy · 15/03/2017 15:21

Lot of difference between "letting them get on with it" and standing behind a falling child and not trying to catch her or to break her fall.

Oldbrownowl · 15/03/2017 15:23

I'd be furious and also look for a new cm, cause after that I wouldn't trust them to keep my dc safe which is the most important thing.

MrsGB2225 · 15/03/2017 15:27

There's a group of child minders where I live that meet up quite frequently and rotate the soft play centres together.
They sit at the table drinking tea, chatting, on their phones and generally ignoring the children.
They seem to play 'who is the strictest' as well and really give the kids a telling off for pretty small things. I've seen a small child(12 months max) crying his bevause he's hungry for an hour because the child has already had their snack and the childminder won't let them have another. The child minder was then bitching about the mum saying she fed the child too much on holiday and now he's crying for food all the time.
They regularly moan about the children and the mums to each other.
If only the mums could see what was going on.

MrsGB2225 · 15/03/2017 15:29

I'm not saying all child minders are like this, I'm sure there are some great ones out there, but this is just my experience.

NewPuppyMum · 15/03/2017 15:36

I'm sure your child is lovely but seven months old and can learn not to fall over again?!

Get a new person as this one isn't a carer.

NewPuppyMum · 15/03/2017 15:38

Also, what first aid checks did she do after the baby banged her head. Did she call you immediately? Did she follow her own procedures?

NewPuppyMum · 15/03/2017 15:40

She's broken contract surely? Don't let her keep the deposit or demand notice.

PollytheDolly · 15/03/2017 15:48

Um..... that's actually cruel.

highinthesky · 15/03/2017 15:52

OP, why is the CM being rewarded for her wilful negligence? Demand the deposit back.

balence49 · 15/03/2017 15:57

Pull her out. I wish I had. Trust your gut feeling

Peanutandphoenix · 15/03/2017 16:08

Find a new cm before this one lets your baby hurt herself really badly. Don't let her keep the deposit either.

Notagainmun · 15/03/2017 16:22

I am a childminder and when a baby begins to surf the furniture I hover behind and sort of guide them on to t their bottoms if they lose balance, iyswim. There are often bumps when babies become mobile but you do try to avoid them as much as possible.

FourKidsNotCrazyYet · 15/03/2017 16:42

Oh that's terrible! I see I'm late to the thread but I'm so glad you're leaving her. What a shame for your poor baby daughter Sad

Hissy · 15/03/2017 16:54

Good for you for pulling her out. Please make sure that you tell your friends what happened.

That woman shouldn't be in business!!

MrsSeverusSnape · 15/03/2017 18:58

I think you have a very strong case for breach of contract and could fight to get your deposit back.

contractor6 · 15/03/2017 19:08

I've see a lot more cm at the soft play these days, i am shocked by the behaviour of some who are looking after children. Regularly I've seen them crying and scared as got them selves stuck, and I've been the one to help them off a climbing frame or down a slide. Wish I was braver to say something. Hence why I won't use a cm, in a nursery it seems more open and accountable.

SaucyJack · 15/03/2017 19:08

Definitely find a new childminder.

Her judgement is shit. Christ knows what else happens that you don't hear about.

Doyouwantabrew · 15/03/2017 19:14

Ah sadly this thread has turned into a child minder bashing thread. My friends mothers brothers kid was killed by a registered childminder/my aunts friends child was shut in a room at nursery and no one let her out until pick up time. Blah blah blah.

There's good abs bad cms, nurseries abs parents. Who knew? Hmm

Op she sounds very dodgy and I would go with your instincts. I would never treat a mindee that way or any child. If she is telling you this what is she doing and not telling you?

MissJC · 15/03/2017 19:18

Omg I know this sounds incredibly immature and bad form but I actually think that I would have head butted said CM, then told her that it was important for her to learn a lesson about not letting bloody babies bang their heads. And I am not a violent person but this has really made me feel a bit sick.
The thought of some evil bitch intentionally watching my DD fall over and bang her head knowing full well she is going to hurt herself makes my chest constrict with rage.
I am absolutely disgusted on your behalf. I also think the other parents of the children in her care need to be made aware of the incident. Maybe Ofsted too. Grrrrrr.

Trifleorbust · 15/03/2017 19:24

Total loony. Get a new one.

TupperwareTat · 15/03/2017 19:28

What else does she deem normal though?