Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Childminders comment

189 replies

StudentMum92 · 15/03/2017 14:01

Name changed just incase.

I've been to pick DD up from her Childminder. DD is 7 months old and is going from crawling to sofa surfing. CM told me that DD had fallen back and bumped her head. But what threw was that she said she was there behind her and she let her fall. She's got to learn not to do it again.

I was quite abrupt and said that sofa surfing is a normal developmental stage and said that if you're there next time, pull her down don't just let her fall.

Yes I know babies fall, it's natural but to deliberately let a 7 month old fall back and bump her head doesn't sit right with me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Lemonjellymoonstar · 17/03/2017 06:16

I'm a childminder and that is just awful. I'd never let a child hurt themselves if I could do anything to prevent it. I'm a lot more cautious with minded children than my own. The thought of explaining to a parent that their child who they trusted me to keep safe, got hurt makes me feel sick. And your daughter is just a little baby, that's just awful.
Get a new childminder!

graciestocksfield · 17/03/2017 06:21

My DDs had excellent, experienced childminders. I never even considered sending them to a nursery, they absolutely thrived in a home environment.

graciestocksfield · 17/03/2017 06:31

There is no other adult around. They have free reign to treat your children badly and noone around to check on them.

And yet children get poorly treated regularly in nurseries and are very unhappy there. I personally thought my kids when under two needed more individual attention than nurseries could give them. Plus they were really inflexible with pick up times - no good for me at all.

Our childminders worked as a team with other childminders and were rarely at home with the children on their own. The first one we had had been a nanny and childminder for 20 years and her own children were absolutely lovely, the second (as we moved areas) the same. You have to use your common sense and trust people and see the evidence from your own eyes. If your child is happy and thriving there then that's a very good sign that you have a great childminder.

ClarabellCow · 17/03/2017 06:32

I do hope you were asked to sign an accident book and that you will file a complaint. Otherwise your child is safe but not others. This cm needs education, not a free wedge of money (your deposit) and enough ambiguity to label you a helicopter parent when explaining your abrupt departure.

gammaraystar · 17/03/2017 06:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

tinypop4 · 17/03/2017 07:03

Gammar there are so many things wrong with your post. Glorified babysitters?!?!?! I have used 2 different childminders and they are outstanding in every single way. Lots of wonderful activities, loving towards my children, passionate about caring for them. You are entirely wrong to tar all childminders with this brush and very offensive to many

tinypop4 · 17/03/2017 07:05

Also, early years degree holders rarely work in nurseries either. I am really pissed by your post and I'm not a childminder

ClarabellCow · 17/03/2017 07:08

Grammar your post is hilarious, but I hope my trip trapping over your bridge doesn't make you hungry.

Picoloangel · 17/03/2017 07:18

Grammar* your post is deliberately provocative and offensive and I'm going to ignore it.

OP please get a new childminder - I let something go at DD's first nursery but I never trusted them after that and the result was months of stress for me. I was between a rock and a hard place because we were my bing away from the area but in your situation I would report her and definitely find a different CM

Picoloangel · 17/03/2017 07:28

Moving away!

Childrenofthestones · 17/03/2017 07:41

"Shes a TWAT!" I heartily concur.
This why despite us being financially stretched by it, my wife insisted on being a SAHM until our two children went to school.
While this gimp may be in the minority, you never really know if the person you are entrusting the most precious thing in your life with, is going to do shit like this while there are no witnesses around.
You wouldn't know she was like this had she not spoke of it, you would still think she was trustworthy and cared for you child as you do. How may childminder/nannies are like this? Well unless they admit what they are doing or some disaster happens the sad truth is you will never find out.

38cody · 17/03/2017 07:55

Get a new childminder now before she gets older and too attached.
That's just wrong and I wonder what other weird ideas she has - too risky to stay and find out. I would also let her know why you're Removing your daughter and tell her she's lucky you're not reporting her.

Looneytune253 · 17/03/2017 08:17

Lol at gammar. I am a childminder with qualifications and i actually do it because I love children and its my career. I'm not quite degree level but not basic level either. I have no desire to work as a nanny or in a nursery.

doryella · 17/03/2017 08:28

gammaraystar am so sorry u have so little gd to say about cm. I am a ex nursery nurse a mother and a cm now am only 28 abd love all my minding children as my own i chosen to become a cm i be a mother to my own but still needed an income and we do have check ups and safe grauding if anything cm give children more attention then nursery an not say am perfect child do have bump but am always there to try my best forvit not to happen n kiss them better... am sorry for the lady who had a bad cm thats so sad... (SORRY forgot ur username) all my children have the same no matta what it is and if i havent got enough no one has... my home is there home i even get mothers day gifts from them thats how close i am with all mine. I do wish people wouldnt like if us as banysitter as we do alot more then that do babysitter do 20 hrs of training a yr that we have to pay for cm are not on the best wages and i dont care about the money as long as i can pay my bill and the children get there wkly treats to soft play and the new toy we buy. And before u say anything about soft play yes i am one that goes in following my children around yes i cant follow 3 but i can always see them all. Sorry to go off topic but i do feel so strongly when people put cm down as we have to jump though hoops to get Ofsted registered...

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 17/03/2017 08:33

I agree Looney there seems to be a hysteria surrounding bad child minders, and sweeping statements made about them. CMs these days have to strict guidelines and a code of practice and most parents will use one with experience and good parental feedback.
I've worked as a CM and the majority of us are not doing it as an easy option "to fund our lifestyle" Confused. Let's face it, it's hard work but so rewarding because I love children. I enjoy caring for children, entertaining them and seeing them develop their own personalities.
Let's not view all CMs with scorn and mistrust. It's very far from the truth.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 17/03/2017 08:39

..and I am a qualified teacher with a degree. I chose to go into childminding, I didn't fall into it as my only option. Hmm

Mapenzi · 17/03/2017 08:46

Time to run....nxt time she will let her eat her poop so she can learnnit doesn't taste great!

I recently went apeshit on my CM when they told me that my poor 19month old had nothing to drink all day because i forgot to pack a drink for them....she did not even give him tap water!!! Mental bitch!
No amount of money will let me leave my child ever again with such...on the hunt for nursery 🤔🙄

ClarabellCow · 17/03/2017 09:00

Mapenzi I'd hazard a guess that 'mental bitch' isn't the way to win favour here. Most childminders aren't going to do that.

It's like me judging you as a scumbag because you use terms like apeshit and mental bitch. I'm sure you are mostly lovely.

Select your childcare well and you shouldn't have any problem. Discuss things like lunch provision etc. If you forgot to supply the drink take some responsibility, but of course cm should have offered water. I would have removed my child too.

Metal bitch is a bit much, though.

Mapenzi · 17/03/2017 09:19

Am sorry guys 😣

I retrieve the awful words...i guess it just triggered a bad moment...that was one of the few other little things that added to the list.

True there are a lot of good childminders out there.We just need more round my neck of wood 😘

HookandSwan · 17/03/2017 09:27

Omg that's ridiculous, I'm a nanny and my charge is stable now but no way would have let her fall. What is wrong with ppl seriously

ClarabellCow · 17/03/2017 09:28
Shock My first ever experience of a pp accepting they went too far! Flowers to you Malpenzi, fair play!
Original poster
StudentMum92 · 17/03/2017 09:44

Hi everyone! Thanks for all your supportive comments.

No I haven't been asked to sign the accident book. CM was in tears on the phone with me yesterday. But I won't be taking DD there again. I have also logged a complaint with Ofsted as advised.

Still trying to find a CM, problem is, this one knows every other CM in the area and they all meet up regularly. I think it may have to be a nursery Sad

OP posts:
doryella · 17/03/2017 09:55

I would have ur dd if i had the space n i was near you ( whereever that is) am so happy to hear u have made ur mind up nor all nurseries are bad i worked in one privite for 8yr before having my son n becoming a cm its wasnt bad all my girls was lovely u do get to odd staff that was just there for the money but there are some out there just go and visit many as you can and don't give them morning just turn up at the door and asked to look round so they don't know you're coming so I can't plan anything I always find that's better if they don't let you in or something to hide... my nursery had an open door policy when parents was allowed in n our as much as want... n any new parents was shown around we as staff didnt know and that way you see nursery for how ut is.

ClarabellCow · 17/03/2017 10:02

StudentMum92 she was in tears once you pulled her up on this, but no remorse after the event. Shock
That your child had a head injury that wasn't recorded is unbelievable to me. (I believe you, but you know what I mean). Did she administer first aid, remind you that a head injury can take 48 hours to show any symptoms and to take dc to seek further medical advice if she vomited, or was sleepy at unusual times, etc? (My guess is no!)

madparent1 · 17/03/2017 10:38

Any person who does not prevent a child from potentially hurting themselves when they could (regardless of what they think the injury will achieve or teach them) is clearly irresponsible and has a flawed decision making process.

Don't let him/her teach children about fire with their one trial learning technique!