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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Childminders comment

189 replies

StudentMum92 · 15/03/2017 14:01

Name changed just incase.

I've been to pick DD up from her Childminder. DD is 7 months old and is going from crawling to sofa surfing. CM told me that DD had fallen back and bumped her head. But what threw was that she said she was there behind her and she let her fall. She's got to learn not to do it again.

I was quite abrupt and said that sofa surfing is a normal developmental stage and said that if you're there next time, pull her down don't just let her fall.

Yes I know babies fall, it's natural but to deliberately let a 7 month old fall back and bump her head doesn't sit right with me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
ThatsSoFetch · 15/03/2017 19:37

Im a childminder and find this wrong too. I do everything in my power to stop a child from hurting themselves. Accidents do happen, but this was deliberately allowing your child to hurt themselves. Whatever next? "Your child was at the top of the stairs and fell all the way down" and she allows it to show your child what can happen??! Nope. Youre doing the right thing getting a new one. And Id be inclined to call Ofsted too. BTW - do not pay your notice period and Id be inclined to ask for the deposit back. If she is advertising on childcare.co.uk you can also call them and they can stop her advertising on there too.

isadoradancing123 · 15/03/2017 19:53

Anyone who lets any child fall deliberately, should not be in charge of the child

TheMysteriousJackelope · 15/03/2017 19:54

I am glad you are getting a new child minder. Letting her fall because she couldn't get there in time is one thing, letting her fall against something so she bangs her head enough for it to be noticeable at pick up time and being all blasé about it is quite another. The school of hard knocks isn't appropriate for a baby or toddler, they don't have the frame of reference to recognize when something will hurt them. Time enough for that when they are bigger, more aware of the world around them, and more resilient.

PussInCoutts · 15/03/2017 20:01

Sickening!!

I'd never leave my DC with someone like that again. Report her.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/03/2017 20:04

I'd be finding a new cm. Yes of course children fall over and bump themselves. However to deliberately stand there and let it happen. Is another thing all together. Its a safeguarding failure for a kick off.
A 7 month old baby doesnt know about consequences ffs.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/03/2017 20:05

Yes indeed report to Ofsted. She's not fit to be looking after a fish. Let alone children

Looneytune253 · 15/03/2017 20:09

Can i just take a second to stick up for childminders. The one in the original post is unforgivable but all the anecdotes about bad cm at the soft play etc make me so sad. We're really not all like that. At the soft play you'll usually find me in the play frame with my little ones. I may stop for a cuppa but that's usually standing up watching them giving them a bit of independence while supervising. It's so sad the stories you hear but we are definitely not all like that!

MermaidsTears · 15/03/2017 20:10

That made me feel sick.
Next thing you know she'll be letting her touch the hot oven or fall down a step or something to let her learn "not to do that again"
Fuckng weirdo.

harderandharder2breathe · 15/03/2017 20:15

I don't even have children but would still instinctively have my hands ready to catch her in that situation. I wouldn't pull her down but I would let her do that fall/sit thing babies do but had my hands there to stop her hitting her head or toppling over

They will fall plenty of times when you aren't there to catch them, why wouldn't you catch them the times you can?

Original poster
StudentMum92 · 15/03/2017 20:21

I did not intend for this to become a CM bashing thread at all.

I know plenty of CMs (none near me unfortunately) and they're brilliant. I was a CM myself for a few years not long ago which is why I chose for one to look after my DD. Most work hard, do their best and love the children they're caring for.

OP posts:
Jumpmom1 · 15/03/2017 20:26

This is unbelievable! I would b looking for a new childminder!

oleoleoleole · 15/03/2017 20:31

Please report this CM to ofsted and the LA, she's a disgrace!

goodomens830 · 15/03/2017 20:32

Yeahhh, something very wrong there. I wouldn't leave your child in her care again

MsGemJay · 15/03/2017 20:35

I wouldn't be happy with that. Is it possible that is what she meant?
I would speak to her again when you feel less upset/shocked and ask her to explain.

If not happy then I would change to another CM.

My daughter is 5yo and been with CMs since she was 9mo. She has had bumps/falls and that's normal. Any time it has happened my CMs have been quite upset and explained fully.

Might be worth speaking to her just in case z

fuckoffdailysnail · 15/03/2017 20:36

My child wouldn't be going back there again!

Starlight2345 · 15/03/2017 21:12

Another Childminder.. This age is the time more likely bumps happen, however whenever a child had bumped I am mortified and feel awful long after the child has forgotten about it..I cannot imagine letting a child hurt themselves.

Can I also suggest you put in a formal complaint as this will register the concern which they have to show to Ofsted on inpsection.

Wingsofdesire · 15/03/2017 21:21

Yes I too would literally not be taking her back there tomorrow. Crazy madness. Does the CM have any children of her own? This is literally dangerously stupid.

Wingsofdesire · 15/03/2017 21:22

OMG literally literally : D Sorry ... but I just couldn't believe it ... I don't know what I'd have done.

Notagainmun · 15/03/2017 21:28

Please don't think we are all like that. Most of us are professional and we have a close bond with the children we care for and give them the care and attention we would want for our own.

I have become close friends with other local childminders over the years, from attending the same playgroups, and we get to know each other's charges and arrange playdates and outings together. None of them have ever acted the way the bad childminders mentioned in this thread have.

LucieLucie · 15/03/2017 21:35

It's odd she's told you that she basically watched as your dd fell and hurt herself.

It doesn't ring true to me that anyone would actually do that, instincts would usually kick in?

I'd be very concerned that dd has been hurt deliberately and cm has told this odd story to explain away the head injury.

If it were my child I'd have her physically examined at the doctors just to be sure.

Did she record the incident in her accident/incident book? She should have also got you to sign it.

mimishimmi · 15/03/2017 21:35

Um, no. YANBU. It sounds like a cover story in case she had a head injury/concussion which may not even have come from sofa surfing. I'd change minders quicksmart.

Mummytotwoandchildmindertoo · 15/03/2017 21:35

Wow I'm shocked that someone would allow a baby to just fall and bang their head to teach them a lesson. That lesson can't be taught to any 7 month old. I do get that a three year old who bangs her head on something will know next time to avoid the obstacle but even then I wouldn't let them walk into a corner of furniture to teach them a lesson. It would be a complete accident if they did and I always feel worse than the child and hate to see them hurt. I have an 11 month old who has just started cruising and crawling and thankfully gets more bumps at home than with me. Get rid and find someone who is recommended. Make sure recommendations come from reliable sources

LucieLucie · 15/03/2017 21:35

mimi exactly my thoughts too

tinypop4 · 15/03/2017 21:40

What?!!! She sounds like she hasn't got a clue about child development if she thinks a 7 month old baby will learn anything from being allowed to fall of a sofa and hurt herself. I'd definitely be getting a new CM in your shoes. Sorry to hear this has happened.

diddl · 15/03/2017 21:49

She's got to learn-learn what?

That she'd better not get up again until she can walk without falling over??

It's hard to believe that someone said this.

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