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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Childminders comment

189 replies

StudentMum92 · 15/03/2017 14:01

Name changed just incase.

I've been to pick DD up from her Childminder. DD is 7 months old and is going from crawling to sofa surfing. CM told me that DD had fallen back and bumped her head. But what threw was that she said she was there behind her and she let her fall. She's got to learn not to do it again.

I was quite abrupt and said that sofa surfing is a normal developmental stage and said that if you're there next time, pull her down don't just let her fall.

Yes I know babies fall, it's natural but to deliberately let a 7 month old fall back and bump her head doesn't sit right with me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
elflinwebb · 15/03/2017 22:01

Wow!! As a childminder and a mum of 4 . ( i dont wrap them in cotton wool) That's appalling! I wouldn't want to leave my child with them again! I certainly wouldn't let it happen to a child in my care or my own! Yes children will fall but if you are right there surely your natural instinct is to break the fall ? Support them in their learning ? So they will give it another go etc 😑 good luck in whatever you feel you need to do ( mummy knows best) ! And your instinct reaction was a big fat NO ! X

Notcontent · 15/03/2017 22:08

Sorry to be blunt, but the CM sounds like she is lacking in intelligence...

Italiangreyhound · 15/03/2017 22:36

YANBU no one should watch as a child falls. They may really hurt themselves, it's foolish and cruel.

I'd not be trusting her to look after my child.

BananaThePoet · 15/03/2017 22:38

I don't think you have time for mning - you need to find a new cm imo

^^this x infinity.

Also I think you need to have a word with whoever licenses childminders and let them know what has happened and that you have concerns.

This isn't someone who should be responsible for the safety of children.

Chickoletta · 15/03/2017 22:40

I'm glad you're moving your DD but think you should also report this to SS.

Strygil · 15/03/2017 23:00

What compulsion are you under to leave your twenty eight week old child with a childminder?

ImNotDancing · 15/03/2017 23:10

strygil would you rather she left her 7 month old child home alone?

Original poster
StudentMum92 · 15/03/2017 23:16

Strygil Excuse me?

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/03/2017 23:20

Stry. Some people do not have the luxury of being able to make a choice about staying home or Going to work.
Some people have to go out to work, and that's that.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/03/2017 23:23

Oh and not everyone has a retired but very active mum and dad who live a few doors down who can help out. This isn't the 1950s

Doyouwantabrew · 15/03/2017 23:25

stry you are either goady or thick sorry!

As a cm I had one baby from 6 weeks as mum had no choice. Literally.

That baby is now 8 and thriving happy and loves her family and her life.

Doyouwantabrew · 15/03/2017 23:35

student of course you didn't bash cms in general of course not. You are quite right to post for support and I know you had it. Flowers

lucie I see your reasoning and interesting view point very worrying too.

Please please people don't judge all cms most of us adore our mindees. I don't cm any more but my mindees are all in my FB via patents and some older ones just by themselves Grin and they are extended family and our families ' adopted' littlies'

Purple52 · 15/03/2017 23:46

What happens when it comes to crossing the road?

GoodnightSeattle · 16/03/2017 00:40

Stry I'm not even going to dignify that with a response apart from to say 28 fucking weeks?! She's 7 months, stop being one of those people.

Brb, my 72 month old just woke up from a nightmare ...

kali110 · 16/03/2017 02:22

Strygil
I suppose op should just sit on her ass and not work then?
I'm sure that will work when her rent/ mortgage is due Hmm
Some people don't have the luxury of being able to take all the time they want off after after kids and have to work to bring money in.

Op is it possible the cm has said it wrong?
Like what wonderingsoul said?
If not then there is something wrong with her Confused

tinypop4 · 16/03/2017 06:35

Strygil are you for real? Why would you post that judgemental shite on this thread? A huge amount of babies are in childcare by 7 months

Original poster
StudentMum92 · 16/03/2017 08:02

Strygil

My DD started childcare at 10 weeks old. I'm a student and have no family support. I'm doing my best to get a good career so that I am able to give DD the best life I can. What compulsion are you under?

Hopefully I'll be a good role model for her to look up to, unlike your poor children who have a troll for a mother. Under bridges are not suitable homes for children.

OP posts:
mmgirish · 16/03/2017 08:41

strygil I left my ds1 at 11 weeks with a nanny and my ds2 at 9 weeks with a nanny. Not everyone gets unlimited maternity leave you know. People need to work/study.

Would you say that to a man? Probably not...

ProgRockAndPinot · 16/03/2017 12:57

Hard knock school would be OK when they are older ie climbing trees, running and jumping in the garden, NOT when they're babies!!! Head injuries are not a light issue and deliberately letting your kid get a concussion is not an educational issue but neglect! Ask any medic ffs.... (sorry for my language)

arrrrghhwinehelpswithteens · 16/03/2017 13:23

OP you did right to pull her out and you are doing great managing studies and your DD Flowers

Strg - what planet are you on? My DD was in nursery from 6 months (or 26 weeks in your parlance) as it needed two of us to pay the mortgage / utility/ food bills. She's now 15 and a straight A student with a full
social life.

And Flowers to all the decent CM on this thread - you do a great job

Last thought - OP - you need to report the incident to the Care Services Inspectorate so they can be aware. Also keep an eye on DD as concussion can take up to 48 hours to show up depending on where any internal bruising is.

SparklyMagpie · 16/03/2017 13:29

Strygil any need to be a dick? What a stupid comment

GoodnightSeattle · 16/03/2017 14:27

I would also like to point out that aside from some women needing to go back to work and therefore have to use childcare, some women want to go back to work and therefore need to use childcare. And that's perfectly okay too.

ZilphasHatpin · 16/03/2017 14:42

Omg I know this sounds incredibly immature and bad form but I actually think that I would have head butted said CM

Grin no you wouldn't. idiot.

jaxy123 · 16/03/2017 14:42

As a registered childminder, myself (little one asleep on my knee at the moment so able to reply) I am so disappointed to hear your story. Yes, little ones will fall - 'specially when learning to cruise / walk but to let them fall back on to their head is so wrong. I'm afraid I would be looking for someone else - it's really a safeguarding issue. Good lucl

jayne1976 · 16/03/2017 17:27

Could have been a lot lot worse - how can she anticipate the outcome of the fall. I would imagine you're not even obliged to see your contract through