Ward visitor snoring all night

[MrsNuckyThompson]

Am staying on post-natal ward after a section and also DD has a little jaundice. Just done my second night. There are three other beds and the occupants of one are a couple with what I'd guess is their first DC. Pretty sure she's also had a section.

I'm about to kill the husband. He snored loudly through most of last night and is still going. He did the same the night before. If a patient was snoring I'd just sort of put that down to my bad luck. But at this point I feel he IBU in putting all the people on the ward who are in actual need of rest and recuperation through that ridiculous level of noise.

What irked me even more was that their baby was really upset and cried a lot in the night and his wife his having trouble feeding. But instead of getting up to help or do anything he just snored through the whole thing - so why is he even here?? Not like he's stayed the night to support her!!

AIBU to think he deserves to be permanently excluded from nights on the ward??

Ahh that is so frustrating but there's the downside of postnatal wards allowing partners to stay - double the amount of noisy people. If you have to stay another night would it be worth seeing if you can wangle a private room?

Oh I feel your pain, it's awful trying to sleep on the postnatal wards, and being disturbed all night by someone who doesn't even need to be there is infuriating. Definitely try and get a private room if you're staying in longer, it made such a difference to me when I had my DC.

I can't believe a dad is there all night. When did that become a thing?

I am all for partners being able to stay on postnatal wards but ONLY when they are private rooms. I've never heard of them allowing it on a bay before?! I'd complain, surely that breaks the single sex ward rule?

Have you complained officially?

Some hospitals do allow it my other half stayed and i couldnt havesnaged without him x

As a midwife I can sadly tell you this is a common occurance and there's nothing we can do apart from (if there's space) move you to another bay......where there may well be a different bloke snoring. Hope you get home soon. Ask about being moved, they may even have a free single room.

I hated this on the post natal ward, my DD was in special care and DP was at home with DC1 so I was feeling very emotional fragile. I dont think partners should be able to stay unless they have a private room, there was one couple who were constantly bickering, one that stayed up late chatting and the men hogging the toilet!! With my DC1 this wasnt allowed, I felt really uncomfortable sharing a sleeping space with three men who I dont know especially when you are at your most vulnerable and/or trying to establish breastfeeding

My husband was sent home at 10pm (as were all the other blokes) and allowed back in at 8am. I felt a bit sorry for him, but I know he would be one of the snorers and I wouldn't have subjected anyone to that! I was knackered and found it hard enough to sleep without someone snoring. I complained about another patient having both of her mobile phones switched on because they were ringing and pinging all night. She answered every call and had long, loud conversations. The midwives sympathises, but couldn't do anything about it.

It was definitely allowed in my hospital's post-natal ward (big one in London). I don't have an issue with it but I know it's a bugbear on Mumsnet that partners shouldn't be allowed to stay.

I feel your pain, OP. I had three nights on the ward with one hour of sleep per night (and bad hallucinations) before I had a meltdown and told the staff I was leaving and got a private room. There was a couple in the next bay who would talk loudly all night with no consideration. Normally I would have confronted them but I'd had a horrendous labour and EMCS and couldn't cope. I hope it gets better for you.

I'm currently expecting DC2 and my main consideration when choosing a method of giving birth is what will get me out of hospital quickest (so an ELCS is becoming less of an option).

Post natal wards are always noisy

Now I do feel I can do something (or at least try) about people talking and taking phone calls in the night. I am quite happy to politely but firmly tell people it's unacceptable and they need to be quiet for others. So far everyone has taken it on board and stfu. I'm sure one day someone will probably tell me to fuck off and carry on.

Here I think the rule is supposed to be they can stay the first 24 hours. I've been here 48 and they arrived before me!!

At least I know I'm not BU.

I'll ask about a room!!

Actually I'm in two minds about it. I had such a difficult birth and was so exhausted that I really needed DH there with me. It was a very busy time in a London hospital and I couldn't get as much support as I needed. That said, we were both very quiet, considerate and mindful of other patients.

But then again you have other people who have absolutely no awareness of their noise and behaviour so I can see why no partners overnight could be a good thing. Then again, it wouldn't have stopped one of the female patients having a ridiculously loud Skype call with her family at some stupid hour.

What?! That's a joke. I had no idea partners were allowed to stay on the ward. I thought it was only in private rooms.

Need for woman who has just given birth to sleep trumps need for partner to be there, surely?

bloody hell, yes i would have loved for dp to stay on ward after my emcs but not at the cost of 8 other males snoring and shuffling about in my already noisy and crowded post natal room. partners should only be allowed if they get a family room. totally inappropriate otherwise. as for sharing loos and bathrooms with male visitors... ffs just what you need when you are post op bleeding and passing massive bits or even throng up. NHS kick those men out unless they pay for a family room. ffs

crumbelina there are posters up in the antenatal ward at my hospital that say they aim to discharge you after 1 night with a ELCS now- so don't let that be a deciding factor.

I was discharged after 2 nights with my first, DD was born in the evening so was less than 2 days old at discharge, and that was after a EMCS. I didn't sleep either, but that was DD's fault. I had a private room the second night as it was DD disturbing all the other mums (maybe that's the secret, have a baby that screams all night and they'll move you so because they can't move all the other mums off your bay!)

I feel for you OP, I would be frustrated with this too. I agree that partners should be able to stay in private room but there just isn't the space or privacy on a bay.

Urgh, i HATE that. It is a hospital ward. For patients, not visitors. You need to be able to rest!

When did this become a thing? DD was born in 2000 and partners were kicked out at the end of visiting time.

It seems contradictory that mixed wards are opposed but that well partners are allowed to sleep on maternity wards.

Thanks Crohnically. You've reminded me to look into it as I think my hospital might be trialling a 24 hour quick recovery discharge with ELCS. We had to stay for 6 night last time because of an infection that me and DD picked up during labour. I'm sure this next time can't be as bad! I'll happily beg or ask to pay for a private room if so.

I had a horrible labour, it was 11pm by the time I got to the postnatal ward and although I was totally exhausted, I was so traumatised and overtired that I didn't sleep for days after. I very much appreciated my partner being able to stay during this horrible time- it was a great comfort to me.

He did start snoring a couple of times but I nudged him and stopped it.. it's a shame the woman in your ward didn't do the same or get him to change positions (although if their baby was screaming all night, it's doubtful you'd have slept much anyway- between that and having your blood pressure and temperature checked every 5 minutes!).

I would have been very upset if my partner had been made to go, so I'm glad having a significant other was allowed. There were curtains separating all the beds in the rooms, I never saw any of the other people in there and neither did my partner.