Ward visitor snoring all night

[MrsNuckyThompson]

Am staying on post-natal ward after a section and also DD has a little jaundice. Just done my second night. There are three other beds and the occupants of one are a couple with what I'd guess is their first DC. Pretty sure she's also had a section.

I'm about to kill the husband. He snored loudly through most of last night and is still going. He did the same the night before. If a patient was snoring I'd just sort of put that down to my bad luck. But at this point I feel he IBU in putting all the people on the ward who are in actual need of rest and recuperation through that ridiculous level of noise.

What irked me even more was that their baby was really upset and cried a lot in the night and his wife his having trouble feeding. But instead of getting up to help or do anything he just snored through the whole thing - so why is he even here?? Not like he's stayed the night to support her!!

AIBU to think he deserves to be permanently excluded from nights on the ward??

Acubed I was at risk of further bleeding so couldn't have my curtains closed.

When I needed any helped I pressed my bell and a midwife came. The cot was pulled over to the side of the bed though so even though I was really quite poorly I only had to reach over and get her.

Nope that's just my opinion. And surely it's down to patients rights not visitors rights as well, new mothers should have the right to have someone with them overnight at what can be a really hard time. If anyone is disturbing others of course they should be removed, but my experience of everyone having their partners there was all positive.

Bottom line - the bloody govt should invest properly in the NHS to ensure that these post-CS women don't NEED their DPs to be present. There should be adequate medical and support staff available. A nurse or midwife isn't needed to help a woman to the loo or hand her baby to her - there used to be support staff to help with those tasks and there should be again.

I couldn't reach sideways so even though got was next to me I needed to have baby passed to me. Not trying to have a 'who had the worst time' competition though honestly. I'm sorry if you were ill. I guess everyone has a different view on this and I can see both sides, but I still strongly feel women should be able to choose to have someone with them overnight. I shall open my mind to the opposite argument though

Patients in hospital have a far harder time than having a new baby.
You are not allowed your partner with you for major surgery, cancer treatment or serious injury.

In my opinion, they need far more support, as well as practical assistance.

Non-patients have no right to sleep in a hospital ward overnight. I don't see what "the first few nights of their lives' has to do with it. With my first child I stayed 4 nights and could only move due to a terrible birth on the last day. I was in pain and needed round the clock care. I still wouldn't have had DH there if I was given the option, and he wouldn't want to be there all hours disturbing other women.

What makes me sad is that single mothers or those with no support lose out even more. People cite a good reason for partners being there as they can catch nurses attention etc. Which means the nurse is taken away from the most vulnerable who don't have an other half to fight their corner.

luckily my hospital don't allow partners over night but TBH a busy ward with no men is bad enough! Had my son a few weeks ago, I gave birth at 6am and was asked to stay 12 hours as DS pooed inside me and needed to be monitored for that long. Come 6pm I buzzed for a midwife to ask if I could go home. She said "But don't you want some rest here overnight" I (very politely) pointed out that there are six other bodies in the room plus staff in and out and I'd be far more likely to get some rest at home where I can be in a room just me and DS and have DH wait on me hand and foot without impinging on other women. Bless her she discharged me (probably thought I was a right moany cow )

Exactly. It's a hospital ward...For patients. Not a lovely cost bonding area. When I was in with mine dh would come in, cuddle me, cuddle the baby, bring me stuff, help me to the loo or whatever and then go home. Get the house ready for my return, take care of other kids when applicable, get food in etc. Sure, someone there more would have been nice...But I was in a hospital, not a hotel.

What I don't like is the right of the guest outweighing the rights of the patient.
There will be females who are on the wards who are fearful because of previous assaults. Why shouldn't they be allowed to stay on a ward and feel safe during her most vulnerable moments because the men want to stay?
Then what about cutural differences, or do there needs mean nothing because the men want to stay?

Surely having the men on the wards isn't actually helping staffing numbers. The people in charge see that things are going fine and the current staffing levels aren't needed and funds cut further? How is that actually a good thing?

Can they separate wards so that partners can stay in one ward and those who don't want their partners or can't have their partners stay in another?

I have 2 sn kids.
I can end up in hosp unexpectedly so always have ear plugs in my handbag for emergency admissions.
I am tuned in enough to my children to wake for them but it cuts out the other noise for me.
They normally have them in hosp shops so worth a shot.
Otherwise by night 3 you will be exhausted and sleep through it all.
Congrats by the way x

juneau Hospitals are horribly understaffed these days, many have hundreds of unfilled vacancies

I don't think there are hundreds of vacancies for HCAs, are there? Which would be the role the partners would be replacing. I think the hospitals have actually just cut the roles.

(If there are actually vacancies can anyone give me any tips for how to get in after being out of work for some years?!)

YANBU OP. Shame the nurses can't point out he was useless overnight and chuck him out. I'd be so tempted to say something to him, enquire politely whether he will be snoring like an earthquake and keeping everyone awake again, or is he actually going to bother waking up and helping with his newborn tonight?

Not in a 100 million years will i ever think that men should be able to stay overnight on mat wards.

In an area like central London, where you can often choose between hospitals, I don't see why they can't have some wards that allow partners and some that don't. Then you could choose on booking-in. But of course that wouldn't work for smaller places.

Personally I would rather have my partner there even if that means having other people's partners around. The only difference between day and night with a newborn for me was that I got more rest at night with just the partners than I did all day with all the visitors! So I would opt for that. But at least it would give those who would rather not the choice.

someone has just mentioned cultural differences.....

My family includes different cultures: my Muslim cousin (non-covered/veiled - just normal western dress) will soon be in a post natal ward. Her immediate family would not accept a male staying over - so what happens then? Are her requirements ignored, so that a huge political fuss ensues? Or are her requirements granted, in which case she has had special treatment?

What makes me sad is that single mothers or those with no support lose out even more. People cite a good reason for partners being there as they can catch nurses attention etc. Which means the nurse is taken away from the most vulnerable who don't have an other half to fight their corner.
*
^That x 1000000*

To be honest partners cause the staff more work. The majority, like in the OPs case don't help their partners. But we have to feed them, provide breakfast and coffee, buzz them in and out the ward all through the night for fag breaks. So it takes our time away from the women even more.

One patients wants (let's face it, most will be being needy and wanting their partner by their side) shouldn't over ride another patients needs. A decent nights sleep and as much peace and quiet as possible.

It should be one blanket rule. No visitors after a certain time (say 8pm). And absolutely no overnight visitors.

I think it's a load of crap worrying over being 'vulnerable' around men or whatever, they are just men, that doesn't make them predators. It's just the noise factor that would annoy me. Extra people snoring. More people wandering up and down the ward. Chattering couples late at night.

It should only be allowed in extreme cases where the mother physically can not look after her new baby, and they should be in private rooms where possible to avoid disturbing other patients.

Have you spoken to the midwives/nurses on the ward? Tell them you are getting zero rest because a visitor is snoring loudly all night. Ask if you can move to another ward or a room. If that's not available, ask what they can do about it.

'I think it's a load of crap worrying over being 'vulnerable' around men or whatever, they are just men, that doesn't make them predators.'

How lovely it must be to be you!

I would have had to spend my whole stay with my curtains closed if there were strange men allowed on the ward. I found being in hospital a real ordeal as it was thank goodness it wasn't a thing in 1999.

"But we have to feed them, provide breakfast and coffee,"

Why? Hospitals aren't hotels. Food and drinks are for the patients only.

It's been a "thing" for a while. Takes the pressure off the nursing staff and creates a bond with baby and start of life as a family. It's annoying he's a snorer, buzz the nurse and ask her to have a word

mummy, nursing staff on here have said it actually adds pressure.

You can 'start life as a family' once you're out, surely. It's worked fine for generations.

Her partner?! That's a new one to me. Have never heard of partners being allowed to stay overnight on a maternity ward! Anyway that is beside the point. All I can suggest ia that you walk past him and give him a sharp jab with big stick.