Ward visitor snoring all night

[MrsNuckyThompson]

Am staying on post-natal ward after a section and also DD has a little jaundice. Just done my second night. There are three other beds and the occupants of one are a couple with what I'd guess is their first DC. Pretty sure she's also had a section.

I'm about to kill the husband. He snored loudly through most of last night and is still going. He did the same the night before. If a patient was snoring I'd just sort of put that down to my bad luck. But at this point I feel he IBU in putting all the people on the ward who are in actual need of rest and recuperation through that ridiculous level of noise.

What irked me even more was that their baby was really upset and cried a lot in the night and his wife his having trouble feeding. But instead of getting up to help or do anything he just snored through the whole thing - so why is he even here?? Not like he's stayed the night to support her!!

AIBU to think he deserves to be permanently excluded from nights on the ward??

Congratulations

Make a complaint.

Failing that, ask about a private room. I doubt they'll let you out after one night. I think it best for two nights stay after a c section. I did with my two, even though I begged them to let me go after one night.
With hindsight, I definitely wasn't ready after one night to be discharged.

I would be asking about a room asap.

Good luck.

Some men people snore like a lion.

Not fair on other people in the ward at all. In that case for those desperate for them to stay, then they should be asking about a private room themselves.

Having stayed on a maternity ward for a week quite recently, you have my complete sympathy, OP. They are noisy places to be.

Complain, OP. His 24 hours are up.

I really don't think men should be allowed to stay on post natal wards at all. If the mother needs support over night then a female relative or female friend. Not a bloke.

My niece recently gave birth (elcs) and was in a bad way post op. Her mum was allowed to stay overnight but not her partner which is pretty sensible imo.

And I don't really think it's necessary for partners to be able to visit from 8am to 9pm either. When I had ds 3 years ago by elcs I was trying to get bfing established. I am very large of nork and kept getting dp to pull the curtains around. Midwives kept opening them as 'they don't like them closed during the day'. After the 3rd time I asked for a private room if they couldn't give me privacy from the 4 male visitors that were there unless the midwife wanted to sit barebreasted with me in solidarity. They left my curtains alone then.

YANBU! My DD was born 9 weeks early so taken straight to SCBU. They put 'SCBU mums' in a separate bay together away from mums with their babies. The lady next to me's husband stayed with her overnight and they would talk loudly all night and snore. I didn't understand the need for him to stay, since our babies weren't with us, so most DH went home at night to rest. Really infuriating - I remember sobbing on my bed in the wee small hours because I was completely exhausted, missed my baby and couldn't get any bloody sleep.

Maybe have a quiet word with a midwife? You need your rest. Congratulations on the baby.

Seriously, how does this meet the single sex ward requirement? I'd be making a formal complaint.

I was desperate for my OH to stay last time, he couldn't because I was on a bay. I was traumatised and I had PTSD from my postnatal stay. I still don't think he should have been allowed to stay on the actual ward.

This time I have specifically chosen a hospital with private rooms where you can pay for your partner to stay. If for some reason I don't get one I will just accept that he won't be allowed to stay over.

I had this on my post-natal ward. It was a nightmare. I hate the fact that many hospitals allow 24 hour visiting on post-natal wards.

When I had DD2 last year (by ELCS) she ended up in NICU and I was in a bay where partners were allowed to sleep over (DP couldn't come in as was at home looking after DD1 who had chickenpox)

During the first night, which was just a few hours post surgery, I had a reaction to the anaesthetic drugs and had the most horrific all over body itching which made me want to tear my skin off. I've got a vague recollection of stripping off to try and stop the irritation and remember that the curtains were never closed properly by staff. There was a sink and mirror just beyond the curtains and every so often this man's face would appear in the mirror (someone's partner washing their hands).

It seems like such a small detail but it really lingers. So many jokes are made about loss of dignity when giving birth but it's so fucking unfunny

I will forever be against partners staying on wards.

Tell him to shut the fuck up.

Your need for sleep trumps his.

I can't believe that partners/husbands are allowed to sleep in the ward!!! I would have HATED that when I was in hospital having DC.
Wards are noisy, stuffy and uncomfortable at the best of times.
Adding more people into the mix is just awful especially if they are not doing anything other than sleeping! I assume the woman is aware that her husband is snoring his way through the night keeping everyone awake? He shouldn't be there.

Can't believe they let men stay now. What a horrible idea.

We're paying for a private room this time, this is 4th time round and the noise has been unbearable every time.
Be glad it's just snoring-last time I was bought to tears and had to report the staff for bullying the vulnerable patient in the bed opposite me. One of the most horrible memories I have.

I have never in my life felt more vulnerable and broken than the nights i spent in a hospital ward after my first 2 babies were born. Exhausted, bleeding, leaking, weeping, half naked - hospital gown hoiked up so I didn't keep bleeding through it, and boobs out as I tried to get the hang of breast feeding, and a thin curtain separating me from the loud men visiting my neighbour. They pushed their chairs so far back my curtain was pushed almost to my bed. Furious midwives snapping at me for everything I did. Hideous. Sub human.

My third baby was born in another country where I had a private room with a bathroom, no men were allowed in certain areas, the staff treated me with kindness and respect, I was brought something to eat and drink.

The birth of my third child makes me feel strong and peaceful. The births of my first 2 make me slightly panicked and scared.

Every time he starts snoring, ask the staff to wake him up to stop the noise.
He's there to support his partner. He's not doing that if he's asleep

Oh god this brings back bad memories. I was in a week and slept no more than a couple of hours a night.
First night a husband in the bay opposite snored like a warthog all night. Next night woman next to me was loudly crying all night. Next night a woman with twins was moved in. Her husband snored too, the twins tag team cried all night and she rang the buzzer constantly to get the midwives to bring the crying one to her because she's had a section and couldn't get up. Maybe the fucking husband could have helped there? The next one was the worst I think, some gobby cow face timing everyone she knew until gone 3am.

Some of this is unavoidable and some of it is because there a lot of selfish people in this world. Next time I will be pushing to go home as soon as reasonably possible, my husband won't stay at all because he couldn't sleep either and we have DD to care for now and I will be a lot more vocal in my objections to unreasonable noise!

I'm a midwife and would have no problem asking a partner to leave if he was disturbing other patients. I would definitely complain to the midwives, postnatal wards are noisy enough without snoring men keeping everyone awake. There may be bays where dads are not allowed to stay, so possibly you could move into one of these.
My unit tried allowing dads to stay in bays, and it was so problematic that we've stopped it now, they can only stay if women are in a private rooms (which they only get if there's a clinical need or the ward is quiet).

Ring yr bell,tell the midwife..I can't belive they haven't done anything about that

I've had 4 kids,my dh never stayed over,but other men did,it was horrendous skulking past them with blood soaked clothes to get to the loos..I don't know who's idea it was to let them ,but it wasn't a good one

as if midwives didn't have anything better to do than deal with additional people on the ward. such a silly policy to allow partners to stay. private family rooms are fine if available and paid for.

Men should not be staying on female wards at all.

In all fairness, it wasn't the partners on my ward that bothered me. It was the woman next to me who snored like ten warthogs, the woman opposite who bellowed into her phone and played games on it nonstop, and the woman who moaned loudly like a pornstar all night, but kept telling the midwives she was fine. Seriously, just like a bad pornstar faking many loud orgasms. Of course know it wasn't her fault, but I was struggling post c-s after a couple of weeks on the ward and it wasn't great! why couldn't she just have said "Jesus shitting christ" or something that I could have joined in with?!

YANBU OP. It's disgusting that you've been denied a single sex environment at one of the most vulnerable times in your life, and that the onus has been placed on you to do something about it.

Please do raise it to the ward staff. You shouldn't have to, but it's the only way.