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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hijacking from another thread where someone mentioned inheritance...

191 replies

btfly2 · 07/03/2017 08:58

I think it would be an interesting thing to know how many of you already have inheritance from your parents sorted. Or how many of you think what exactly you are going to receive from your family when that moment arrives. My parents already sorted everything in their will for my brother and I. We know exactly what to expect and we both are very thankful and kind of lucky I guess. Aibu to believe is important to know what your inheritance is going to be? Curious about your experience and opinions.

OP posts:
Eatingcheeseontoast · 07/03/2017 09:00

Mum died a while ago and we knew it would be split equally between us siblings, no surprises.

Have been left money by a great uncle, but it's in trust and we have no idea how much until his wife dies. So I'm assuming not much!

Costacoffeeplease · 07/03/2017 09:00

How do your parents know that they won't need care which will wipe out their assets?

It's very dangerous, not to say a little tasteless, to look at your parents, or other family members and see £££ signs

Eatingcheeseontoast · 07/03/2017 09:02

Oh and DHs family has slightly complicated set up due to sibling with a disability who will need life long care, but that's all out in the open and quite clear. I think it's best that way.

VimFuego101 · 07/03/2017 09:04

As a PP said, it's risky to assume anything, as those funds may well be taken to pay for are.

My mother has made it clear she'll be leaving everything to charity, so I know exactly where I stand Grin

PlayOnWurtz · 07/03/2017 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissisBoote · 07/03/2017 09:04

I know how both of my parents wills are split (both have remarried and step children into the mix).
However I'm fully expecting the actual inheritance to be minimal once care costs are taken into account.

ChicRock · 07/03/2017 09:05

We know the details of wills and how everything is split, but assume that lots of it will be spent on care if all the folks live to a ripe old age.

PlayOnWurtz · 07/03/2017 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rosae · 07/03/2017 09:08

I think it's important to know that wills have been made. Simply for ease of processing their estate when they have gone. But knowing what the will says? No as no planning should be done with inheritance in mind anyway as things might change so why would you need to know?

wildpoppiesanddaisies · 07/03/2017 09:08

My parents had a will in 1987, when I was 6 and my brother was 8.

Everything went to us. As things turned out, I tease my brother sometimes as my dad gave me a large lump sum as a house deposit. He died very unexpectedly in 2014 and so if we split everything down the middle as the will stipulates I would come out with more.

As it was my brother got my dads house and we also have a flat.

Pyjamaface · 07/03/2017 09:09

My parents refuse to make wills so everything will go to the surviving spouse and then eventually, be spilt evenly amongst their children (second marriage is unlikely as both are in their 70s).

If the house needs to be sold for care costs at any point then that will just mean the splitting equally will consist of knick knacks and bits and bobs

Original poster
btfly2 · 07/03/2017 09:10

Costacoffeeplease : The money for their care is already been saved for that purpose and they keep that account apart. I don't think is tasteless because it was their idea to sort it now so my brother and I won't have troubles in the future deciding "who gets what" etc . I think instead, we are very lucky because I know for friends experiences it could be very complicated sometimes.

OP posts:
HecateAntaia · 07/03/2017 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 07/03/2017 09:13

If you mean do we know what our parents plans have re inheritance, then it's a mix:

Ddad has never discussed it. He has very little financially and I have siblings who aren't as financially secure as me so I'd like to think he'll leave what he does have to them.

Dmil and dfil have told us they plan to leave the family home to bil and split any cash amongst the other siblings - all being well they'll have enjoyed spending it while they're still here and we'll inherit nothing.

Somerville · 07/03/2017 09:13

Only those with very wealthy parents will 'know' that they'll inherit anything at all, even if wills are sorted. Care costs will be astronomical.

My parents wouldn't want to be in a nursing home like my grandma was in - the only option for her. They've already got their eyes on a swanky retirement community where they can lead an active life in their own home, and then remain with high level nursing care as and when they need it.
So I doubt I'll inherit much at all, and I hope I don't, as that means my parents will have lived a long time with a high quality of life. Smile

RitaMills · 07/03/2017 09:14

My parents aren't very wealthy so I'm not expecting anything, I'd rather they enjoyed their later years with the little money they have rather than leave anything to my brothers or I. They do own their own home so I suppose that would get split 3 ways between my brothers and I. It's not something I've asked about though.

My mum does have a life insurance policy she set up for my DS for £40,000. She done this off her own back and only told me about it after she set it up.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 07/03/2017 09:15

My Dad has no mortgage and lots of savings and assets. For this reason when my Gran dies all the money he is left is to be equally split between me and my Sister. He tells us how much it is, and it is a comfort to know we wont have to worry about money in the future (unlike now!) I suppose it just depends how your family talk about money-mine are very open so it doesn't seem strange!

TeenAndTween · 07/03/2017 09:15

We are aware because we have had discussions about IHT planning, and also not wanting our DDs to have automatic access to funds.
However we don't know the sums involved, and we aren't banking on anything. My DGM lived until she was 100 so money may well all be spent in care fees, but we do know the split.

WaxyBean · 07/03/2017 09:15

I am an executor for both my DPs and MiL. While everything is shared equally among siblings, I fully expect that assets left after paying for care will be minimal.

HecateAntaia · 07/03/2017 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jimjamjem · 07/03/2017 09:16

My mum died a long time ago. My dad is remarried, I have, lots of siblings and a few steps (all adults when DF remarried).

Not sure what the split is (there is a shared property and prob some investments) but am sure they have it sorted (DF is a lawyer). I am an executor and have a copy of the will but I filed it away without looking at it!

MargaretCavendish · 07/03/2017 09:16

Like many pp, I know how the money will be split (they have quite recently made wills, which include provision for future changes like us my brother or I having children - neither of us currently do), but I very much hope we inherit nothing like the current value of their estate, because I hope they both live to a very good age (I was tremendously lucky that three of my four grandparents lived into their 90s) and I know that means it's likely that a huge chunk of that money will go on care - and indeed that's exactly what their money is for, to make sure they have comfortable old ages. They've helped both of us out financially with house purchases. If you can afford it I can't imagine why you wouldn't help out family when you could rather than making them wait until you're dead.

Floggingmolly · 07/03/2017 09:16

Why is it "important to know exactly what your inheritance is going to be", exactly? To what purpose? You don't know when you'll inherit, and unless your parents are really rich, I don't believe you'll know exactly how much either.
The cost of care for the elderly is exorbitant. They could live till 100.
Your op is tasteless in the extreme.

everymummy · 07/03/2017 09:17

I don't think it's tasteless, planning for the future is not the same as grasping for their cash. My father in particular wants to 'leave something behind' so he is really trying to work out their housing etc. so that my brother and I inherit something.

My brother and I talk about it openly with them and even more openly between ourselves.

TheUnicorns · 07/03/2017 09:17

My entire family, close and extended, haven't a pot to piss in between them. No jobs, houses or savings amongst any of them. Neither do my siblings, so when either of my parents kick the bucket (or require any sort of care) I fully expect all eyes to be on me for footing the bill.

OHs parents have remortgaged up to the hilt and have made it clear it is their money and they don't intend to have anything left to give once they've passed. Which they're perfectly entitled to do, no problem with that.

It's always a bit "how the other half live" to me whenever people talk about inheritance!

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