Hijacking from another thread where someone mentioned inheritance...

[btfly2]

I think it would be an interesting thing to know how many of you already have inheritance from your parents sorted. Or how many of you think what exactly you are going to receive from your family when that moment arrives. My parents already sorted everything in their will for my brother and I. We know exactly what to expect and we both are very thankful and kind of lucky I guess. Aibu to believe is important to know what your inheritance is going to be? Curious about your experience and opinions.

I chatted recently about this topic with my best friend who lost both her parents within a few years of each other. Although they had preplanned everything (one had terminal cancer and the other had been very ill following a stroke 10 years before) she said she wishes they had discussed things with her and her sister.

One real sadness that she has is that her parents were cremated and then scattered together when the second one had died. She desperately wants somewhere to go to mourn them, a grave or a memorial where a little piece of them remains. She and her sister had wanted to bury some of the ashes so that they had somewhere to go to lay flowers and remember them by but felt they couldn't go against their wishes.

My dpils left everything split 4 ways. My dmum has left hers split between me and my siblings but i would not count on anything as she is now a widow so it could all go on care ( although he dad made it to 95 without care and died at home)

My parents have nothing and my PIL have told DH they'll be spending what (little) they have. I actually give my mum a little money to help support her because she has so little. It's like an anti-inheritance!

Reading this thread has made me think about where all this money spent on care [homes] ends up. Not care workers because they're paid peanuts. Presumably some people are getting very rich from this.

It has also made me wonder whether I should start saving for my mum's funeral...

Sadly I know exactly, as I lost both my parents before I reached the age of 30

My dad died when I was a small child, and his inhertence passed to my mum. That was all used up supporting us growing up with a single mum. Following my dad's death, my mum was always very open about her arrangements. She took out a plan to ensure her funeral was paid for as she didn't want to make things any harder for us children. She was always clear that her will simply split everything 50:50 between my sibling and I. TBH, she never had much cash so I didn't really expect she'd have much to leave us.

Sadly I lost my mum a few years ago . It broke my heart, she was far too young. As expected, she had modest savings in her bank. What we hadn't expected was the value of the house (which had been mortgage free for years, my fathers life insurance having paid it off years before). I still lived with my mum and hadn't paid any particular attention to house prices, so we were surprised when the house price alone bear pushed us over the IHT threshold.

Anyway, we split the house equally. I bought my sibling out and have remained in the property with a 50% mortgage. The way I came about the asset was horrible, but I have to admit that it came at a pivotal time in my life. No way could I have afforded a house otherwise, and I know all my mum ever wanted was to provide for her children and make sure we were ok. So I like to think she'd be happy that I stayed in the house, decorated it nicely and am now comfortable thanks to her.

We were all surprised to discover we were entitled to a death in service benefit from my mum's pension, so we also received an entirely unexpected cash sum from her pension scheme. So I have equity in a house and some savings as a result of losing my mum so early.

DH's parents have a mortgage free inherited family house which has increased in value recently and appear to have a reasonable sum of money in the bank, but no idea really. They aren't great with cash, his mum fritters it on junk. We have no idea about their will, but there's a good chance lots of their estate will go to IHT (as the house alone pushes the estate well over the threshold) or that it'll will go on care. I know my DH isn't planning or expecting anything from his parents particularly.

Reading this thread has made me think about where all this money spent on care [homes] ends up. Not care workers because they're paid peanuts. Presumably some people are getting very rich from this.

I'm not so sure anyone's getting rich from this.

The care workers are indeed lowly paid, but it is an area that does need a high number of workers, so employee costs will still be high. care homes are always very warm because the residents are quite inactive, so heating costs must be astronomical. The laundry bill must be pretty high too, plus wear and tear on seats, especially for less continent people.

Additionally, private residents pay a lot because the subsidise the ones who are being paid for by the LA. LAs use their block buying power to force prices to be lower than is often economical.

As I mentioned way up thread, 10 or so years ago, the cost for live in care was about equal to a care home. But with live in care you have the additional costs of running your own house as well.

My parents have nothing. Rented council house, cheap furniture and little savings. No they have not made a will, but as they have nothing left to leave except sentimental things such as photos, I think it will be fine.

My FIL has made a will. Have a house to leave. However the money from it will I am sure be split between many people such as GC, Godparents, and others. So DP does not know details, but isn't expecting much at all. My DP got £4k when his mum died. Wasn't expecting anything.

Silver farms are big business. Loads of "expose" type programs on a few years ago, when poor care was headline news.

Food budgets small, basic care only covered, residents left dehydrated, chained to beds, up and dressed, and left in front of tv's, fed and back to bed.

But the owners were living in gigantic mansions, numerous flash cars, etc etc

Pretty much like this

"http://www.staustellvoice.co.uk/news/73/article/6010/"

"An untrained Lucy is left with the woman, who the home is paid £3,000 a week to look after"

"The Morleigh Group made a profit of £1.5m after tax last year and Cornwall Council paid around £3m to the Morleigh Group to take care of elderly people.

In the programme one member of staff tells Lucy that the owners — Steven and Patricia Juleff — “live in a mansion”.

Having personally worked in one I also saw corners cut - heinous food budget etc etc etc.

TBH Had DM been alive I would rather she have invested in my house and lived with me, ie we had no room for her - but could have built loft suite - and had her here. Than put her in care home, depending on her needs. But old peoples needs have not changed much and families did far more care at home.

brasty

what will happen to their savings then! It will take months - years for any of it to come to you and how will you pay for their funeral, the FD will want to know.

Yes families did much more care at home in the past. But I know in my own family by the time GPs needed care, the daughter or DIL, was either a housewife, or working part time. And it is usually women who do the care. Most people now work full time, so this is not possible without giving up work totally. I know two women who have done this, and they are very poor.

My parents are not shy of a few quid, I hope between now and when they pass away they have a ball during their retirement and don't think for an instant they should be leaving anything to pass on to the kids.

I like this thread. It is important to make a Will and to let others know where it is.

We've made our Wills, mainly so that if anything happened to us, everyone would know who we want to look after our children (currently aged 5 and 3).

My mum died intestate when we were young. Everything (including a flat in Knightsbridge) went to my Dad. He had a will that he changed 2 years before he died. The solicitor he used was incompetent to close his estate which was very expensive and meant those who should have received bequests didn't.

My dad left everything to our step mum. Fair enough she has been great and really looked after him despite him being very emotionally abusive. She in theory has left everything to both of their lots of grandchildren of which there are 11.

My experience is that wills are often changed and it's wise to expect nothing. My grandmother changed hers in the last week of her life.

Just to add my 80 year old step mum has a boyfriend. So it's fairly likely that she might change her mind and leave him the lot.

My parents spent all their money on raising us, so there's nothing to inherit. If they did have money, I'd want them to spend it on themselves and enjoy retirement.

Better to discuss what every one wants for the end before it's too late. What kind of care etc before it is a pressing issue.

My kids know that they get will less because we want our end of life care to be a priority and not for them to have to deal with it. So they get more freedom but less inheritance. Being a good daughter or son rarely involved receiving compensation in the will I'm afraid.