Hijacking from another thread where someone mentioned inheritance...

[btfly2]

I think it would be an interesting thing to know how many of you already have inheritance from your parents sorted. Or how many of you think what exactly you are going to receive from your family when that moment arrives. My parents already sorted everything in their will for my brother and I. We know exactly what to expect and we both are very thankful and kind of lucky I guess. Aibu to believe is important to know what your inheritance is going to be? Curious about your experience and opinions.

My mum and brother died a while ago, so my dad is going to split everything between me and my niece. He actually doesn't have a will, afaik, but that would be the division anyway if he does die intestate.

In fact, given the way the op is worded; I'm inclined to call journalist
Either that or self absorbed thicko.

'The money for their care is already been saved for that purpose and they keep that account apart.'

Unless they are very very wealthy I wouldn't rely on that. A good nursjng home can cost £1000 per week so if they both require nursing care the money gets eaten up quickly.

I know my parents and inlaws have wills but I have no desire to know what they choose to do with their money. I'm not going to plan my future with any inheritance in mind.

I have worked with people who have gone into debt thinking they'll have a house to sell in the future to pay them off, then their parents have needed to pay for specialist care and left the children financially fucked because they were relying on the inheritance.

Crass

I did know but the situation has changed a lot since then. I've already been given a very generous amount when I moved so I expect to get pretty Much zero at this point. I really don't care so I've never asked.

I've lived the nightmare of being challenged over inheritance and I'm not going down that road. Anything I get I will be grateful for. Anything my family get I will be pleased for them.

I think a high degree of wealth and forward planning is needed to know exactly how things will pan out in 20 years or so.

You can say in principle 'split equally' but accidents, illness, disability, bank and investment crashes, property eaten up by care costs, death and re-marriage (to a much younger spouse, for example, even new late parenthood!) can all play havoc with the amount, or the principle.

Sunday lunch at yours must be scintillating, evermummy. Honestly!

We've never discussed it, but I know my parents have made wills. I'd be very surprised if the instructions were anything other than an equal split between me and my two siblings. As far as I know, though, there aren't any assets other than their home, which is mortgage-free.

I only know because my dad has recently remarried and has altered his will accordingly (and told me about it). I will inherit his house, unless it needs to be sold to pay for his care. I told him I don't want anything and would rather he blew his money on exotic holidays (or whatever he wants!).
I will inherit everything my mum has, she's single and my brother dead so no one else to inherit. Again, it will probably be used for her care.

The money for their care is already been saved for that purpose and they keep that account apart

If they really have saved all the money they need for care in a totally separate account then that makes your situation unusual as they must be cash millionaires. My husband's grandmother thought she'd saved up money for care. Turns out that her savings looked pretty paltry when the (nice but not extraordinarily luxurious) care home she's in costs a grand a week. So now the house is being sold, which is fine because it's what it's for, but it's not what she thought would happen.

Oh and we certainly havent planned our futures with any ideas of inheritance in mind, that would be ridiculous IMO. We live to our own means.

After my father died my mother decided to leave her estate to her 3 grandchildren, so we knew not to expect anything. However she is now in a nursing home and all her money is going on fees, which is as it should be. The grandchildren didn't know they were to inherit and therefore have no idea that they have 'missed out'.

My mother in law is supposedly leaving her estate split equally between her two sons. She often threatens to change her will when things are not going her way. DH and I are not banking on receiving anything. If we do inherit it will be a bonus but we have planned our retirement based on our own savings and earnings. We have no idea how much MIL has, and of course she may well have to pay for nursing home fees too.

When it comes to my children I will probably be more open with them. I don't mind talking about money and I think it probably helps to know as much about the future as possible.

If they really have saved all the money they need for care in a totally separate account then that makes your situation unusual as they must be cash millionaires. My husband's grandmother thought she'd saved up money for care. Turns out that her savings looked pretty paltry when the (nice but not extraordinarily luxurious) care home she's in costs a grand a week. So now the house is being sold, which is fine because it's what it's for, but it's not what she thought would happen

Yes, this happened with DH's DGM. Her £100k cash savings seemed a lot until she required long term care. Her house had to be sold to fund the deficit.

Nop, not a clue. Don't want to know, both parents are early 70's but could live for another 20 years.

Whatever will they have made today, may have no effect then.

The money for their care is already been saved for that purpose and they keep that account apart

It doesn't work like that I'm afraid. All their money and assetts are taken into account regardless of separate accounts. They will have to fully fund any care until their assetts fall to £23,250. It's obviously slightly more complicated when one requires care and the other remains in the jointly owned home but be under no illusions that they can escape paying g fees if they have any assets or savings.

With that in mind I expect to inherit nothing more than Maybe a few thousand pounds. Everything will be equal between me and my siblings.

What I think it is important to discuss if for example

• all the money is going to one DC and not the other two,
• or going to grandchildren when each child doesn't have equals numbers of grandchildren
• anything else that may be unexpected

because if the reasoning isn't explained it can leave the bereaved feeling 'less loved' or 'overlooked' at a time when they are very vulnerable. This can then tear families apart.

I know how my DPs estate is to be split and how it is to be dealt with in the event of just one of them dying. I have a fair idea what I'll get monetary wise if they both died now, but I'm not relying on that money as anything could happen and their assets could well be swallowed up in care home fees etc.

I don't think the post is tasteless as people do consider it. Death and taxes and all that.

My parents are certainly millionaires based on house value alone. They're very healthy and confident early 70s. They've given grandchildren the odd 4 figure sum recently. They gave DH and I an exceptionally generous Christmas present last year. However, I and my siblings have made it perfectly clear to them that we think they should spend every penny they've earnt, leaving enough to "pick up the final tab", as my father eloquently put it. This was a conversation that started out during a normal family lunch and turned serious. I hope my folks took note. I wouldn't be surprised if there is inheritance of some sort but, as I said, I'd far prefer they spent their money on themselves.

I do want their dining room table. That's half sentimentality and half greed. It's beautiful and I couldn't get one like it now. I made it quite clear to my parents that my brothers are philistines who wouldn't know what a coaster was if I made them eat one and therefore didn't deserve it. My younger brother wants the socket set(s) my father's accumulated and my big brother wants my Mum's postcard collection.

I've wondered what my parents would do as I have a SN brother who will need life long care and not even everything they own will cover it for 30+ years.

I think the housing market does not help this. GPs bought several houses for cheap long time ago and are now worth millions, while their grandkids can't afford it despite having better jobs. Inheriting would be helpful for us to be able to buy.

Sorry, that was wrong.
I know how it is to be split if they both die and how it is to be dealt with if just one dies.

I have a brother with a disability so he gets the majority of my parents estate. My parents spoke to the rest of us before they rewrote their wills and we all were in agreement.

My mom had nothing to leave when she passed away, and my dad has very little, and what he has will probably go to my sister, as she is the one and only person he has ever cared about in this world (he cares a bit about her children).

I will be getting absolutely nothing when he passes, and it really doesn't bother me.

I know what my mum's will says and roughly what her assets are as I sorted everything out when my dad died.
However, am not making any plans regarding my inheritance as it's her money, she may need long term care and she might live longer than me!

I find it quite crass you want to know how much exactly your inheritance is going to be. I have this sense of you sitting and waiting for your parents to die so you can get your inheritance. It's also utterly impossible to know how much inheritance you are going to get, especially if one or both of your parents go into care. As PP have said most care homes are about £1000 a week for basic care, and can easily go up to about £2000 a week for specialist care. I know you say they have cash set aside for care costs, but it would have to be an extremely large amount to cover costs if one or both of them end up needing care for the long-term.

I expect absolutely nothing.
I will probably get a bit of money and the house but if I don't I'm fine with it.
My mums possessions are hers while she's still alive and I feel no ownership of them at all