Hijacking from another thread where someone mentioned inheritance...

[btfly2]

I think it would be an interesting thing to know how many of you already have inheritance from your parents sorted. Or how many of you think what exactly you are going to receive from your family when that moment arrives. My parents already sorted everything in their will for my brother and I. We know exactly what to expect and we both are very thankful and kind of lucky I guess. Aibu to believe is important to know what your inheritance is going to be? Curious about your experience and opinions.

Sort of... My gran is still with us, and my dad let me know that she has written her will for each DGC to receive a large-ish (five figure) amount of money which is sitting in trust somewhere. My gran is 94 and does yoga and swimming every day so frankly I think she may outlive me! I don't rely on receiving this or anything from her. Frankly my aunt (dad's sister) has done all the donkey work caring for DGM and (now deceased) DGF while dad pissed off overseas, and I think she should get far more.

My parents - I am an only child, and my parents have given me a copy of their will showing that their estate will pass to me. But we have quite a rocky relationship, and I allow for the possibility that at some point my mum will change it and donate everything to the RSPCA or something. Plus, as PP said, care costs may wipe it out.

Frankly, I've worked very hard (with DH) to have a good standard of living and enough money, and I am not going to live my life waiting for anyone to die.

I know the split but not figures.

50/50 between me and my sister. Mum helped me with a house deposit a few years back so will adjust accordingly in sister's favour.

My dad has been dead a few years. I know what assets my mother has and what her will says because I am her named executor. However, my only concern is that she gets as much enjoyment and comfort from her money whilst she is still with us. I don't give a budgie's fart if there is nothing left. In fact, when we've talked about planning ahead my advice to her has been that my greatest hope is that she plans it so perfectly that she spends her last penny just before she passes away. Of course, that is highly unlikely so I just encourage her to enjoy herself and if funds get too low she can come and live with me.
People coveting their inheritance make me want to throw up.

The distasteful nature of the thread aside, it's worth saying again that care costs are astronomical and could wipe out any inheritance you anticipate getting.

My parents needed long term care (alzheimers and dementia with a raft of other physical complications including double incontinence and mobility issues).

First the house was put under protection, even though I was living there. I was given six months to find alternative accommodation. Then it was sold, then the savings and assets were accessed until only £14,000 remained in the account.

My sister and I received nothing even though we were both beneficiaries in the will.

Here in the Midlands, care costs £4,000 per month per person (back in 2010). I've no idea what it costs now. That doesn't cover everything of course. So you're talking nearly £100,000 per year for a couple in care. My parents lived for ten years in care. Trust me, it doesn't go far.

If your parents are rich and intend to pay for private care then you won't face this problem but alas for the average person who relies on council care, then inheritance is probably not something to bank on.

Oh, and they can go back fifteen years to see if you've intentionally transferred assets to friends or family as a way of reducing the availability of funds when the time comes.

Yes I have inheritance from my paternal Grandad and from my Dad also my maternal Gran died in December and I stand to gain inheritance from her estate once probate is sorted out . However I would rather be broke and not had to see my Dad collapse and die in front of me and he was only in his fifties. Nobody knows when death will happen do they ?

My Mum has prattled on about her will so much, including some conditions I thought a little off that I refuse to engage with her about it. She has chopped an changed who is getting different stuff, promising jewelry to people then changing her mind, I just wnat no part of it.

Realistically I dont think they will have much to leave, I am not expecting anything

I haven't got a clue.

However, about 20 years ago my dad said he was leaving everytjing to the RSPB and my mother said she was leaving my sister and i to puck over things and decided how to share it ourselves - but that if we argued over anything, be it the car or a teacup, then EVERYTHING would be sold and the money given to charity.

My parents weren't very happy 20 years ago.

They have since divorced and my dad has a new (lovely) partner. My sister is NC with my dad. My mother is weird and vindictive.

I haven't asked them about wills and they haven't told me. They are only 64/67 so spring chickens. If they want to leave me a pound, great. If they want to give it to a donkey sanctuary, great. If my mother wants to give it all to her favourite grandson, then that is up to her. Wouldn't surprise me, but hey ho.

I'd regard anything left to me by my parents as a bitter-sweet gift.

DH's family on the other hand... That is a WHOLE THREAD in itself!!

All I know is that there are 2 executors (myself and 1 DAunt), for both my DPs and that they have a will with the solicitor. I have absolutely no idea how it is split, nor do I need to know yet (hopefully not for another good few years yet) - I did ask a few years ago if they had it sorted as much to know that there is a plan and not just that (as the eldest I was anticipating being referee) we'd have to sort it ourselves. But that's all I needed to know, and all they wanted to tell me either.

I know DM would like to have as little as possible to reduce rows, and they are enjoying the years since DF retired. But there will certainly be some, which will be split between 6 DSiblings, and I suspect on a "1/6 to everyone, and each of the 4 girls gets specific items of family jewellery" basis.

Nothing.

Parents divorced.

Everything left to new families.

Mother is executor and main beneficiary of grandma's Will. That hasn't been sorted and she died in 2010.

Nursing home care around here starts at £1200 per week. The posh ones are up to about £2000 per week, particularly if one to one care is needed.

I just hope my mother will enjoy what money she has. DH and I are OK-ish financially. I would much rather have a happy DM than have her money later. She is scrupulously fair, though, everything will be split equally between siblings.

I can't imagine though having the expectation of money at some later point in life, because it has never been an option for us so it's always fascinating reading these threads.

I would say that we are the odd ones out amongst our peers in that we don't expect to inherit much at all, at least from my DM, after care costs. Most people that we know have parents who are pretty well off. I tend to be the only one in most of my friends who went to state school, and who comes from a working class background. I suppose that means I've been socially upwardly mobile!

So if anything, the way I look at is is that I have already had a great inheritance already from my parents. Without all the sacrifices I would never have gone to a good university, or been able to take part in the cultural experiences that meant I could easily fit into the social groups when I met DH, and we could then go on an build a financially secure future for ourselves.

Still, if you were to offer me a mill or two, I wouldn't turn it down

Floggingmolly "Sunday lunch at yours must be scintillating, evermummy. Honestly!"

Well we only talk about the parental funds as a starter before throwing ourselves wholeheartedly into pensions and feasting on potentially life-limiting illness and geriatric canine care. You should come over one day! Great roasties.

But seriously, it's OK for money to be discussed - my brother and I have had conversations about it because I want our parents to be happy and secure in their old age. If we had never mentioned it we would be jeopardising this. It's important to my parents that they leave their affairs in order and that involves us because they are old and need our help. As it is we've had to arrange to downsize so they can save for their living expenses. This is what I mean when I say that we talk about it.

It's much kinder than ignoring it and leaving them to worry.

No idea about inheritance from my parents. My family don't do talking about money and death. I do worry about having to clear out their cluttered house one day though (suspect I'm not alone there.) They helped me with a deposit for a house so anything else is a bonus.

I do have a 90 something fairly unpleasant grandfather that I'm hoping I'll inherit from. Would never actually say that aloud in real life however. Knowing him I'll probably get nothing.

I honestly hope there is nothing left when my parents go - I want them to enjoy their retirement, go on fabulous holidays and treat themselves. They earned that money, and they deserve it. Just like I earned mine. I wasn't brought up to expect handouts.

It will be split equally.

However we have told them they worked all their working lives hard, and extra jobs in the evening and weekend to get where they are , they deserve to enjoy whatever they want now hols, cars etc.

We didn't say this to them > but even if that leaves us nothing we don't care. Seriously they deserve every penny, we are capable of earning our own.

My DF passed away from a brain tumour when I was 17, and his DW changed his will just before he died and forced him to sign it, so 95% of his assets went to her. So me and my DB got barely anything. Got legal advice at the time and were told that it would be a long, expensive, difficult battle so we didn't pursue it in the end, and nothing was going to bring my DF back.

I'm glad that he never told us what he wanted us to inherit, as his DW didn't give a shit about his wishes in the end anyway, and I think it would have upset me more if I'd known what he wanted us to have.

I think it's a good thing to know a little of what's going to happen, it's less of a shock when death happens. My parents have loosely explained everything and I know where wills are and what solicitors are involved etc.

But no, nothing is set in stone, my MIL is in dementia home, slowly spending all her assets, we're just glad she's in a good, safe home and being looked after (and a good value one, going off what people are quoting for care, we pay well under £2k/month). My parents are enjoying their retirement and spending their money, which I'd rather them do than save it for us.

Thank you everymummy. To all of you that keep saying is tasteless, well is not in our family. My parents always liked planning for the future, is a culture thing where I come from, therefore my curiosity about how do ppl do this things in the UK, that's it.

My father died. My stepmother contested and won 75 percent of my inheritance. It hurt but I accepted it.

My mother has made her plans clear to all of us. She and my stepfather have mirror wills leaving everything to the remaining partner. I don't agree with this and have voiced my opinion but she understands my experience and it hasn't damaged our relationship.

DH is an only child. His parents haven't and wont make wills. He isn't worried because here by law its split between the remaining partner and the children.

Its crass to be mentally spending it but not to want to know what their wishes are.

I don't think wills count for much and I'm not going to make one.

Only child - no handouts, my parents don't believe in them. They did lend me £6K interest free to help with the deposit for our first house which we paid back over the next 2 years.

My grannie lived with my uncle until she hit 102 and suffering from dementia increasingly bedridden. (My uncle was approaching 80 himself by then). She went into a care home and died within 3 years. Although, she qualified for the full local authority subsidy, it didn't cover all the fees so my family (my Dad & his siblings) had to pay a siginificant top-up of a few hundred pounds per month.

My uncle & aunt, in their 70's & 80's sold their house not long after, to move purposely/downsize into a retirement complex and are having the time of their lives socially.

My Dad is 70 and my Mum is in her 60's - there is no way that they would consider themselves old enough for a retirement flat. We joke that since the age of eligibility is 55+, that DH & I would be eligible to move in ourselves within the next decade. Only trouble is, our youngest might still be living at home.

I really need to talk to DM about her will as she's said I am executor (does this mean I get to know what her final wishes were beforehand?) I really don't know.

Both my parents (both divorced) will have, I'm sure, precisely nothing to pass on (how does it work if they leave debt? Will I have to pay that?) I really must look into this as I'm sure dealing with grief and complicated finances at the same time must be difficult.

DM has (half-heartedly) joked that DSil will inherit all of her tat crafts much to my amusement and DSil horror got to look on the funny side

I fully expect to get nothing from my parents. Minuscule chance my uncle will leave me something. My PIL will have plenty to leave. I assume it will go to their children and grandchildren. I don't expect personal bequests and that is 100% fine with me.

My mum and her husband have already told us that their entire estates (bar a few minor items) will be coming to me and my siblings.

I fully expect and understand they will spend whatever they want to and need to of that estate before they die, so (like my state pension) it isn't a factor in my future financial planning. But I don't think talking in an open and factual way is in any way tasteless or morbid. It's just conversation.

Ok, no, I'm not a journalist. My wording might be a bit different because my English is not native. Third, I think is better if a I remove the thread due to the "not very nice" comments posted , it doesn't worthwhile. Thanks to all that just simple answered my question without being nasty.

I will probably be left with debts to pay off.