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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you shouldn't go to a birthday party you're not invited to

166 replies

Robinnaaa · 05/03/2017 09:25

I paid for my sons birthday party at a soft play centre. The soft play don't do exclusive hire parties so you have the party at the same time as the soft play is open.

They close the soft play centre at 5:30pm and that when the children's character (well a member of staff dressed as one) come out and dance with the child/play games with them and give out prizes.

At 5:30pm everyone left as thats the closing time. Some people take about 15 mins to leave. Except one mum with what looked like a three year old child.

She went to put his coat on when 'chase' from paw patrol came running out to greet the children. Her son almsost died from excitement!

He came running over and danced, sang and played party games with our birthday party group!

After chase left she made him out his coat on and left.

But I thought this was quite cheeky! He wasn't invited to the party and I'd paid for that entertainment. She also should have left at 5:30pm as that the closing time of the soft play.

Everyone was wondering who this random child was and he won the pass the parcel game and got the toy!!!!!

His mum didn't seem to see any issue and sat looking proudly as he joined in the fun!

I've name changed for fear I'm being truly awful here. But I was slightly miffed!

AIBU?

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 09:27

perhaps she didnt know it was a private party.
does seem a bit cheeky that he joined in with pass the parcel!

Original poster
Robinnaaa · 05/03/2017 09:27

Th soft play closed at 5:30pm but no announcement was made and people take about 15 mins to grab their children, put their chose and coats on etc.

Chase came out at 5:40 so I think that was he problem. She was half way through getting his coat on when chase came out and her son went mental! 😀

OP posts:
Underthemoonlight · 05/03/2017 09:27

It's just a three year old kid I would have removed my child but what would you rather a child having a tantrum screaming?

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 09:28

dont you cheat durign pass the parcel though?

44PumpLane · 05/03/2017 09:28

You should have told her it was a private event but YANBU in that they should have left- could she have mistaken the fact that it was a private event though?

stiffstink · 05/03/2017 09:28

The dancing was fine. Pass the parcel was not!

I'm quite impressed by her brass neck though and to be honest I think I would have just gone with the flow if I was you, which it sounds like you did.

Original poster
Robinnaaa · 05/03/2017 09:28

She knew it was a private party. It was obvious.

OP posts:
ExcellentWorkThereMary · 05/03/2017 09:29

Did anyone tell her it was a private party and she needed to leave?

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 09:29

my dd had a party in a place like that and a friend from her previous school was there, she joined in, but not with the food but she did with the games.

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 09:30

just chill, i bet it made the 3 year old's day Grin

Bluntness100 · 05/03/2017 09:30

I wouldn't have minded one three year old joining in , I have to be honest there. It didn't cost you anything.

ExcellentWorkThereMary · 05/03/2017 09:30

Sorry cross post. If she had been told and didn't leave then that is very cheeky of her and definitely not ok!! Especially pass the parcel!

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 09:30

when did she realise?

19lottie82 · 05/03/2017 09:31

Yes the mum was a dick.

Realistically what she should have done to avoid upsetting her kid was asked you if it was ok if her son said hello to Chase, then took him home.

I don't understand how he managed to win pass the parcel though? And why didn't you tell her it was a private party and make sure they left before the games started?

Trifleorbust · 05/03/2017 09:32

Bit of a cheek on her part. Only a toddler though Confused

EsmeeMerlin · 05/03/2017 09:32

I wouldn't really care about this. He was just one child, and his mum was taking him out before he got really excited about paw patrol. I wouldn't have had the heart to tell him he had to leave and watch him being dragged out tantruming. I would have tried though to point out he was not a party guest quietly so he did not win the party games.

Original poster
Robinnaaa · 05/03/2017 09:32

I suppose she felt she couldn't take him away just as chase came in. Her son would have been so disappointed and I do understand that completely. If a giant chase came into a soft play centre my son would go insane with excitement. No way I could just take him out after that.

Chase did pass the parcel and the staff didn't know her son wasn't part of the party. She gave the present to my son at the end of the dancing.

OP posts:
CherieBabySpliffUp · 05/03/2017 09:34

She might do it on a regular basis when they have private parties Grin

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 09:34

oh well, she gave the present back, i bet they really happy with the unexpected party Grin

BlondeBecky1983 · 05/03/2017 09:35

Aww it all sounds cute to me! Bet the 3 year old was well chuffed!

19lottie82 · 05/03/2017 09:35

Thanks for explaining about PTP OP!

Is it really worth getting annoyed about? Not ideal but She gave the present back and a little boy was very happy.

Original poster
Robinnaaa · 05/03/2017 09:36

No one told her it was a private party and she needed to leave.

She could tell it was a private party but the set up
Means the character comes out while there are still children leaving or getting ready to leave.

I think some people also presume they can stay longer when there's a party as the place is technically still 'open' and music playing/lights on.

Maybe the staff need to let people know it's closing time for everyone except those at the party and then no one would stay.

The character would be better coming in when everyone will have already left. Maybe 6pm.

OP posts:
Somevampsarehot · 05/03/2017 09:36

So she gave the toy he won back? I don't really see the problem then. Yes it was a bit cheeky of her to stay but if she gave the toy back I wouldn't really be bothered.

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 09:37

you should have chatted to her op

EsmeeMerlin · 05/03/2017 09:38

Oh well she gave the present back, can't see the issue at all then. Bet the 3 year old was over the moon and as you said no one asked her to leave. The chase should not have come out until all the customers were gone but I certainly would not have allowed the 3 year old to join in after he had seen the character.